Look on the Bright side
Even when you're in the dark
I read somewhere that it is a good idea to do something that you like when you wake up in the morning. Whether it’s read a passage from religious literature, draw, do yoga, pet your animals or even just sit with your thoughts in a quiet space for 10 minutes. Easier said than done.
Up until recently, Setting time aside for myself has been a struggle. If you think about your day, is there at least one moment where you stop to breathe and see the beauty?
When you look up and see 50 birds gathering in the sky and flying in unison. Or when an ambulance comes up behind you and everyone pulls to the side to make way for it. For just a second we are all in this together. There’s this synergy. We are focusing our thoughts on making sure the person can get through. No matter what we have going on we are able to step out of that hurried mindset and be in the moment. There in lies happiness and maybe a sort of peace. It’s like a silver lining to the craziness.
I suppose I tend to seek out beauty in ordinary places. Maybe things that are old and have been forgotten.
Things that make me feel like this like there's more to life than going to work, paying bills and dying. I have always rebelled against that notion.
My time here must be meaningful. Helpful. Anything but small and unimportant. I remember saying to my dad when I was 11 or 12, "we create our own reality."
In the heat of our argument, he scoffed it off as a silly childish comment I’m sure. I’ve always seen the world through dreamers eyes.
I guess that’s how creators grow up. A starving artist is not without the knowledge that a steady job will pay the bills. On the contrary. They are enlightened about what is important and refuse to settle for a life that is anything but extraordinary. Going from starving to surpassing the goals you set for yourself as a child...is somewhat of a long road. It is very easy to be intimidated by the people around you, and by the media. As an adult I feel like I have to fight to keep the child inside alive. And sometimes I go for months without remembering the things that once made me smile. Life just has a way of draining our energy and diminishing the glow of imagination and excitement for life.
When you have kids, it’s all about them. When you are a parent you understand that and you make sacrifices. I moved states for my sons education. I drive him to school and pick him up so that he can attend a center that will help him develop with his autism and are also able to expand his vocabulary in sign language.
I can get so sucked into our routine that I forget that I matter too. That I am a person with value and I have things to contribute.
After driving 45 minutes to drop my son off, and 45 minutes back home, I approach this bridge into our city. It’s the same bridge I drive over every day, but I’m always taken aback for a moment.
I look to my left and there it is. The Veteran's Memorial, standing quiet, proud in the morning sun. This is the moment that starts my day. It's the feeling I get from witnessing the beauty in the structure. In the design. In the way it makes me feel so small, yet so big at the same time. I live in a city with wonders like this all around me. This is the month I decided to discover them all.
They say there are 7 wonders of Columbus Indiana
including a 900 piece chandelier at the the Visitor's center.
and The Miller house
which is one of the most important mid-century modern residences in the Country.
I moved to Indiana in 2014 so my son could attend the Deaf school. (He is profoundly Deaf.) It's 2020 now and only it's taken me this long to truly appreciate our "meca" of Architecture.
This city has so many amazing things, that movie director Kagonada used it as his backdrop for the movie "Columbus"
The story line:
"When a renowned architecture scholar falls suddenly ill during a speaking tour, his son Jin finds himself stranded in Columbus, Ind., a small Midwestern city celebrated for its many significant modernist buildings. Jin strikes up a friendship with Casey, a young architecture enthusiast who works at the local library. As their intimacy develops, Jin and Casey explore both the town and their own conflicted emotions."
Follow the link below to see a trailer.
https://youtu.be/r3dcnV6Z9Zs
When I was taking creative design classes at the local college, I learned about a concept called Scale. “Scale refers to the relative size of a design element in comparison to another element. As designer Steven Bradley wrote, “A single object has no scale until it's seen in comparison with something else.” I feel this concept when I am standing within the Veteran's Memorial looking up at the sky.
Or when I am in the Visitors center admirring the vibrant yellow Chahuly chandelier.
Or at this sculpture created by artist Henry Moore, commissioned by Irwin Miller and gifted to the Cleo Rogers Memorial library that sits just behind it.
The first Christian Church, another of those 7 wonders gives that same feeling.
I think the magic lies in being part of something so massive, so important, so regal, or holy. When I am near these structures, it's hard not to feel like a wonder myself. I may feel forgotten or worn sometimes, or feel seen but not appreciated. Or I might feel radiant, and shiny as I struggle to find my worth with in myself. With its trauma and chaos, small thoughts and big worries, here in this city there are multiple reminders that life is worth living and we matter.
A single human or a giant work of art, we are all made up of the same magic. These works remind me that I don’t have to be giant to have worth and feel amazing. It’s a matter of perspective. It’s how you think. We have become accustomed to judging ourselves based on social media, and how other people view us. We forget that what matters most is how we view ourselves.
The process:
Do you want a laugh? As soon as I finished writing this story, I passed an ambulance and a group of birds in the sky. Life is beautiful if you look up from the negativity and take it in. There may be a lot of bad in this world, but look on the bright side, the bad can only make the good feel that much better.
I have been struggling with depression all of my life. It’s only in the last year that I realize medication might be a viable option. Talk therapy is helping me to see how my brain is responsible for how I react emotionally and mentally to the stimuli happening around me. If something negative happen, it's the brain that is responsible for making it seem much worse than it is. I don’t think I realized how low I was until I started the locals only photography contest with Vocal Media. I took a whole day to explore and take pictures of my city to prepare a story and for the first time in months, I really enjoyed myself.
It’s been forever since I’ve felt that joy. Don't get me wrong,I absolutely love my son to pieces. But, I have been stuck in a loop of feeling under stimulated mentally, and co
My vice is to shop. The shopping leads to clutter and the clutter to stress. To relieve the stress I go shopping. I’m trying to transform how I think about material things and finding happiness in what I already have. Not an easy task. I'm learning to going out and find that mental stimuli in nature, art,People, experiences, etc. I am finding myself spiritually, and have been reading tarot cards for the past year.
I'm looking inward for answers instead of in social media. I'm trying to find people to I'm
I'm connecting with otherswho have similar interests and who may be able to guide me through the things I am discovering. I have always been afraid to ask questions, but if I can leave my ego behind and focus on growth I might be able to really transform.Overall I am grateful to have gone on this journey of discovering my city and rediscovering myself along the way.
Editing:
I went through soooo many pictures that I've taken over the years. I even got onto Facebook to see which my friends, colleagues, teachers, and family liked best. It was a tie between this image that I took of a friend's daughter who has Autism. it was especially hard to capture a smile on her face because she was constantly moving and when she was still she was hiding her face or making silly faces. as I read the rules about this contest I noticed that all the pictures had to be taken with our smart phone and that one was taken with a handheld camera. So the other top pic was the Veterans Memorial pillars. It actually worked out for me because it gave me a chance to reflect on what they mean to me.
Editing:
I used the functions that came with my camera phone to enhance the exposure which added a god like brilliance with light. And that is truly how I see them when I come into town in the morning.
I worked with the brightness which gave a Overcast, melancholy feel which I think this also represents. All of the lives of the Bartholomew county war veterans are imprinted on the pillars. I had a hard time deciding between the overexposed and dimmed photo. Overall I went with The one that makes me feel the best and helps me to feel inspired every day.
I played with saturation which made the town halls teal and orange colors pop. I didn’t want that to be the main focus however so I enhanced the light of the pillars instead. I really liked the feature of Blackpoint. I feel it gives it a more realistic look than the brightness feature. It is more of an all over enhancement. In the end I choose one that had a bit of light so that it felt realistic, yet magnificent.
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