Living Alive

My alarm sounds. Gosh, how I hate that sound. A couple weeks ago, I changed the tune of my alarm to a new song that I really like. Now, my bleeding ears can hardly handle the misery of that accursed tune. I sigh. Another day of feeling exhausted. What's happening on my phone? Messages from work. My stocks are down. Another friend flaunting their vacation pics. I wish I could go on vacation.

I roll out of bed and begin my moring routine of considering breakfast, only to skip it... A quick-fix of my sleep-slapped asthetic fix-ups in the bathroom, and I'm out the door to float through another day. This isn't living. This is navigating life numbed by distraction.

That's why this year is going to be different.

Most people begin their New Year's resolutions at the beginning of January-only to quit halfway through the month (speaking from experience), but this year I started in December. Why not? Who says you can't hit the New Year running?

In my state of stupor, I realized some things have to go. I'm tired, and I feel busy - but busy with what?!

A notification goes off on my phone: "Your screentime is up 25% this week for an average of 6 hours a day."

*Clear notification.

But then, I pause. Clear notification?

That one notification, providentially delivered a two-in-one delivery. What if I hacked and pruned my use of my phone? What if I used it rather than letting it use me? What if there is a way to live those 6-hours per day actually living? What would my life look like? What would I do? Who would I be?

I desperately wanted to find out.

Taking notes from the example of friends and respected leaders, I began to envision what my life could be once the ball-and-chain of my phone was severed; once the jailbreak no longer revolved about my phone, and instead revolved around my freedom from the life-consuming vortext it had become.

It took radical decisions. Like switching my phone display to greyscale so that it was less alluring, turning off "vibrate" as well as the ringer, refraining from looking at it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I started actually waking up at the first sound of my alarm clock - Yeah, I purchased one of those and ditched my song-killing routine. I started walking to work, eating breakfast, even reading in the morning, all before the workday started.

I broke free from the prison my phone had me locked in, and I sentenced it to the same fate. I now have a drawer I keep the cellular convict in and only check it once or twice in the evening. My bedroom is now screen-free, and my evening is no longer concluded with the infamous endless scroll, but with mindful things; Asking my wife about her day, her hopes and dreams for tomorrow.

For the first time in a long time, I have time. I have time to discover deep things about my wife that I was simply too distracted to notice before. I feel awake. Alive - if I can be uber dramatic about it...

Breaking my fix with my phone helped me see the world in exciting new ways. It's helped me discover people in profound depths I never thought were possible.

My phone is no longer the container and curator of my life. I am. There's a world around me to be discovered and lived in, and the dawn is breaking free as I awake from my distraction-coma into this new day.