Live Life with No Regrets

Regrets are a bitch. The more people I meet, the more I realize that everyone lives with sadness about missed opportunities.

Recently, I talked with a teenage girl who told me that she had passed on an affordable trip with her class to a country she had dreamed about since she was a little girl, because she was skittish about flying in an airplane. She wistfully wondered about ever getting such an opportunity again.

About a week later, an elderly neighbor told me a touching story about a red-haired woman he had wanted to ask on a date when he was in his 20s. My neighbor is in his late 70s. He told me he thinks about the redhead often, and wonders if they would have married.

What keeps us from seizing opportunities? It's likely some combination of fear and inertia.

Fear

Fear can keep us from taking chances and opportunities. In the case of my young friend, the fear that she would meet a terrible fate in the airplane kept her from going on an adventure she had dreamed about virtually all of her life. Though it's true that she probably has many decades of life left to travel, it is equally true that she may not. She may have passed up her one opportunity for this travel. Realistically, we don't know the twists and turns our lives will take in the future. We only know the present moment and the opportunities that exist there.

Inertia

Inertia can be to blame for life regrets as well. Put simply, inertia is a state of immobility. I call it The Meh Factor. In the case of my elderly neighbor and his long-lost redhead, I am convinced he didn't ask her out way back in the day because he couldn't be bothered to do it. It seems that when my neighbor met the redhead, he was already dating a nice girl he had known for many years. Although there wasn't much of a spark between he and his girlfriend, and he wasn't planning to marry her anyway, he still didn't want to upset her by asking out another woman. He couldn't be bothered. He passed up the opportunity to see if his redhead was The One. He chose the path of least resistance.

'Seinfeld' Wisdom

An episode of the popular sitcom Seinfeld features the character of George Costanza coming up with a life-changing idea. Whenever he has the impulse to do something, he intentionally figures out what the opposite action would be, then does that instead. This behavior has a miraculously life-changing effect on George. He finally begins to win at life.

It's comical to watch George base his decisions on doing things the opposite of the way he has always done them. I don't think it would be so comical if I employed this theory and subbed my morning coffee for beer, or stopped dealing with my long hair one day and shaved my head instead. Well, maybe comical to some, but disastrous for me.

What are some opposites that can improve life right now?

Switch Thinking

Switch thinking is the mental act of replacing a negative thought with a positive thought. When that little gremlin in your head tells you for the millionth time that you will never accomplish your dream, silence it. Fill that void with the opposite message. I will accomplish my dream. Every time.

Face it.

Instead of putting off the one thing you don't want to do today, decide to take the opposite action and do it first. Do it with raging passion. From the mountainous laundry pile to the long-avoided phone call to that relative; make it happen. It's now at the top of the list, babe.

And replace that negative thought you just had about this suggestion.

Say yes.

That mean old gremlin is not the only voice in your head. There's also the one that suggests things to you. It says, "I really should get the bottles to the recycling center this morning" or "There's my supervisor. I should ask for more hours." Do it. Say yes to those good ideas that cross your mind. They're like little gifts we tend to stick in the back of the mental closet. Don't let them be forgotten. Open them immediately.