Live free

At the end of all my dis-function lies the most courageous woman I know. Showing up as myself has thought me to appreciate the days when I can't be.

I work harder than the ninety-nine, but I still cannot fit the description of the one percent.

I question perfection on the daily, like is it real? Am I really alive and living the life I was meant to, even if it doesn't look like the majority.

My life feels like the moment I get a grip on something, whatever else can go wrong, does. I cringed at the idea of talking about my good days because the moment I open my mouth there is a chance it will no longer be.

My life feels empty and full, bright and dark, free and bound. I try to explain but there are no right words to frame what it feels like living outside of me, so hopefully inside will give me motivation.

I travel to my brain from my toes and the journey is disturbing.

Looking around in my head helps me to see why life seems the way it does. The noise I hear aren't so bad, they remind me of being in college.

"Man, this girl harbors a lot in her head. Only if she could focus on me, I could bring her up to speed with all she is missing in the moment. "

"Shoot, she is in a bad mood again. How many of these will she experience for the day. She's lying down, no, no. There she goes. "

It took me one hundred seconds to get on this side of her head. How can I fix her reality if she keeps moving.

I have to call my buddy Serotonin.

"She just wants to get away. Where will she go, France, Europe, or Jamaica? "

'She is trying to escape her body, you idiot"

"Oh, why you being so harsh? Can you fix her?"

"You are the one who made her like this with your unquenchable needs"

Here I am thinking my day couldn't get worst, but hearing these two maniacs in my head has done it.

The grass did seem greener.

What I have learned to appreciate the most in my life these days are the simple truths of disciple.

If you stick to something long enough, it will yield you a reward. Society and culture with this microwave mentality however, says, I want everything now.

Getting outside of my head and being present in the moment gave me the confidence to live.

We wake up every morning on auto pilot, most people walking down the street or who stand right beside us are dead people.

I know this because life is beautiful, nature is beautiful and the mind is a combination of that beauty.

When I tried digging too deep away from this truth whether that's by entertaining negative thoughts or not nourishing myself with the positivity I crave, I became just like them. A dead man walking around killing people.

It feels great, because I am doing and saying whatever I want and that’s freedom. Except it’s not. Freedom is having the ability and desire to do whatever I want yet still I only do what is right or that which will be beneficial for me and those around me.

Freedom is not being afraid of saying I was wrong, I don’t know who I am, I am caught up in the rat race. I need help, the list goes on.

Freedom is not easy because it takes guts to be free, it takes discipline and commitment. It takes wanting it so bad that you do whatever it takes to get there.

I dare you to live free, I audaciously command and give you the green light to wake up and live without chains.

Take care of that beautiful mind and experience life outside of your head, you won't regret it. I promise.