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Letter To My Past Selves

because sometimes you need to give them love

By Brittany ValentinePublished 4 years ago 3 min read
2

Dear Brittany,

This is a letter to the past versions of you that need validation. I know you didn’t realize it, but you could have always validated yourself. There were people around you that validated you all the time, but you just refused to believe them. But it’s time to let go of that. It’s time to accept compliments from people you love and understand with your whole heart, that they are telling the truth.

When you were five, all you wanted to do was create art, write books, and put on shows for anyone and everyone. You wanted to be an author, a rock star, and a dancer all at the same time. Everyone just thought you were being a kid, but you’re still the same way; you still want to be everything. I want you to know that your dreams are as realistic as you believe them to be.

I wish I could go back and tell you that you shouldn’t stop for any reason. Now you tell yourself and the world that you can’t draw and you can’t paint, but you’ve never given yourself a chance to try. And now your social anxiety makes it difficult to even do a presentation in class, let alone put on a show. I know that you’re bitter because you had to quit dance classes because high school was too demanding. But you are still creating. You were a star, and you still are.

When you were sixteen, you lost almost all of your friends, you were depressed, you weren’t doing so well in school, and every day felt like a never-ending nightmare. This was the year you first harmed yourself, but you didn’t tell anyone. You almost transferred schools, but you decided to stick it out. A year later, you got that diploma, and a weight was lifted off your shoulders. You did it. And now you know you can do anything.

When you were nineteen, you were a wreck, in every sense of the word. You were failing classes, you were gaining weight from stress-eating, you barely hung out with anyone at all, and you hated yourself more than anyone ever should. You had to walk away from classes on medical leave because you were self-harming and having suicidal thoughts. You honestly thought your life was over.

A few days later, you got your first-degree black belt in karate, and tears fell from your eyes when you held the belt in your hands. But the tears were mainly because you were headed to an out-patient mental health facility that Monday. I want you to know that it’s okay that you broke down, most people would have. You should be proud of all that you went through to get that black belt, despite the storm that was moving through your mind at the time. I am so proud of you for moving forward.

When you were twenty-four, you wrote a speech, and you delivered it in front of forty-one people!! It was about self-love. You wore a gorgeous dress, you had your own microphone, and your friends, family members, yoga teachers, and even your therapist were seated in the audience. YOU booked the venue by yourself, YOU paid a portion of the costs, YOU wrote the speech and practiced it over and over and over again until it was memorized.

YOU delivered it with emotion so well that people were wiping tears from their eyes. You did that. And you could do it again if you really wanted to. Because you are incredible, babe. You should see where you are now!

healing
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