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Letter to My Inner Child

From Your Number One Fan

By Eva SmittePublished 6 years ago Updated about a year ago 4 min read

Hey there, little girl, I thought I’d drop you a line now that I have some perspective on our life. I know I wish someone older and wiser reassured me at the time that it’s all good, so here it goes.

My precious child, I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you, and a lot wrong with the society you were born into. Society that judges people based on the language they speak, or the one they do not. Remember that time in kindergarten when other kids didn’t want to be friends with you just because you were not speaking their language? Well, it wasn’t them against you, but the politics of grown-ups against the grown-ups. Now that I am grown up too, trust me when I say, they are as lost as sheep without a shepherd.

We are being divided in countries and races, and so often we are proud of who we are at the cost of looking down on our neighbours. Sometimes it’s about territory. In your particular case, it was about a historical event and natives not being able to forget it and move on. People are afraid and cling to the past; they fear the history will repeat itself. And so they need someone to tell them who to love and who to hate, who to go to war with. It’s all done for political reasons. See, people at the top have an agenda, and more often than not care little about the rest of us. It is too hard to comprehend for a being as innocent as you, but believe me when I say, none of the alienation you went through was your fault.

You are a magnificent being. Beautiful in so many ways. I know you felt unattractive. You were bullied in school, having big lips and big teeth, for being shorter and skinnier than everyone else. Having no sign of boobs at the age of 13. I know you were impatiently asking your mother why are you not developing as fast as other girls in the class. When the puberty finally hit at 16, you felt you finally belonged. Much later than others, but still. But Nature doesn’t make mistakes. My dearest child, there is timing at play, and it’s different for each of us. It’s the human mind that sees no further than its limitations, putting people in boxes, judging them by the size of their body parts. What is ironic, is that after wanting to grow up faster as kids, as soon as humans reach the adulthood, they suddenly wish to turn back the time and either go back to their childhoods, or stay young and desirable forever. What’s even more ironic is that certain features of yours that were an object of criticism, such as big lips, will suddenly become fashionable, and people will pay money to get their mouths to look similar. You just can’t win with them; there is no point even trying. You were told you are a late bloomer, yet nothing is late in the universe; nothing is early either. There is a divine timing for things to happen when they are meant to happen. Learning patience and trust in the Divine order is a valuable lesson to learn, and I think you nailed it.

I love you so much, my little girl, and not only will you blossom, you will gain so much wisdom as a result of your journey. See, all your tears, all your scars, the struggles, all the abandonment, and rejection—they will shape you into a warrior. A woman who will be able not only to learn how to love herself unconditionally, she will be able to help others who were misunderstood and treated unfairly. You will possess a wisdom, an inner strength, a heart that is open despite not being treated with kindness early on. And that my child is so much more valuable than the physical attributes people are so desperate to have. And nobody can take those away from you either. Not even time.

You felt like an outsider in your developing years and it hurt so bad. Yet let me tell you, you were born to stand out. That alone takes training, a certain discomfort to endure on the journey. Your light shines so bright that you can light the way for others, but first you needed to know what they feel. You had to find out for yourself what it is like to be born into a world with an open heart, yet to be met with hostility. See, this dynamic is not a new one; human beings have been playing this game for centuries. Judging those who are different, be it a race or a religion. Sometimes even being violent towards each other for no reason other than that. The world needs brave souls like you to come and speak their truth, to break an old paradigm once and for all...

My beautiful girl, if only you could see yourself with my eyes. There is no sign of an “ugly duckling” or any other label; there is some pain and fear in your eyes but it’s understandable. You are aware, and with greater awareness comes greater sensitivity. Yet, your spirit is incredibly strong and powerful, and one day you will make waves with that knowledge and empathy of yours. You were told so many lies about yourself, and you believed some of them. Yet they were just the projections of limited minds of others. Now it’s time to turn the tables, and empower those who walk similar paths. Shine bright, my superstar. I will always be your biggest cheerleader.


About the Creator

Eva Smitte

Writer, model, mental health advocate. Instagram @eva_smitte

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    Eva SmitteWritten by Eva Smitte

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