Lesson Matthew McConaughey taught me

I’ve always been a fan of Mr. Matthew McConaughey. ‘Interstellar’, ‘Dallas Buyers Club’ and ‘Mud’ to name a few favourites. When I found out that he’d come out with a book I was skeptical. The thoughts of, Oh please don’t be another celebrity trying to make a quick dash for cash, definitely crossed my mind. However, after watching the Joe Rogan podcast and hearing him talk a bit more of his process writing this book and the deep musings he had on life I was intrigued.

At £12.99 it wasn’t a cheap book by any means but I took the plunge- and courtesy of Amazon prime, I delved in the next day. For those wondering what the book is about it is a reflective memoir-styled book with lots of funny stories of McConaughey’s past. So actually without any knowledge of the actor, it’d still be a fascinating read and you’d get a ton from it.

I learned that the reasoning behind the title greenlights title is that McConaughey hoped to pass on his reflections and lessons learned to the reader. Simply put it a green light is a moment where he moved forward or learned a lesson. So despite being written and having examples from his life, I found the teaching points surprisingly poignant and universal. This book was definitely an interesting concept and here are some of the main takeaways I got from it.

Here are some things Matthew taught me:

Approach things with intent

“The arrival is inevitable: Death, The approach is relative: Life”

Immediately met with quite a blunt view on things and an interesting upbringing McConaughey makes quite existential topics like life, death, and all in between quite easy to understand. As an over-thinker, this idea of literally not leaving room for these thoughts was really helpful.

With stories about his childhood punishments and introspections made me reflect upon my actions. One story in particular resonated about McConaughey getting his ‘ass whupped’ for the words he spoke. These weren’t cursing words that led to his beating. Instead, these were words that could harm him. They engineered who Matthew was. Ideologies, values, beliefs.

Reading that it was when McConaughey said he hated people or told people he couldn’t do something, or that he had lied, that the real punishment was brought about was fascinating. I think to myself what things do I do and say that choreograph the type of person I am.

“Words are momentary, intent is momentous”

Life is a process of elimination

The idea of having things all figured out is a lie. Nobody knows what they are doing and this is especially true when it comes to our identity. We usually don’t know who we are rather who we are not. I’ve experienced this throughout my life plenty of times. I had 3 personal statements prepared for 3 different university courses in completely different subjects. I’ve chopped and changed jobs and roles so many times. However “you cannot put an old head on young shoulders”. Life provides experience.

Reading McConaughey’s experience was hilarious. He thought it was the fancy cars that women were attracted to but instead it was the hustle about him that they liked. He was hardworking. Remove the focus and you get lazy and no one wants to be around that.

“Too many options can make a tyrant out of any of us, so we should get rid of the excess in our lives that keep us from being more of ourselves. When we decrease the options that feed us, we eventually, almost accidentally, have more options in front of us that do”

You need creative boundaries

A consistent theme throughout the book is that of having some sort of restriction or structure to creative endeavors. This is often contrary to what is popularised online or in media. ‘Just do whatever you want, ‘Go with the flow’, ‘Just feel it.

“Creativity needs borders. Individuality needs resistance. The earth needs gravity. Without them, there is no form. No art. Only chaos”

Matthew proposes this idea of being conservative early and liberal late. Having the order to force us to develop a sense of responsibility and then ultimately cultivate our own ability of choice. Elimination is order by default. Meandering about is not ‘freedom’ and actually, the obstacle stopping us from becoming the people we are meant to be.

A big thing McConaughey stressed from his lessons learned as a kid was how much he often thought he was right but ultimately completely off. We often kid ourselves into thinking freedom means getting rid of constraints around us because that is the easy thing to do and doesn’t require any hardship.

Creative boundaries are where true identity is born.

“I will form good habits and become their slave”

Make a decision and own it

In life, we go through a lot of ups and downs and often it takes a lot of mistakes to learn where we went wrong; well it does for me anyway. Looking back when I was younger I can see aspects of my youth where I was a serial complainer. Even now there are times when I unnecessarily shift the blame.

Reading of one of McConaughey’s experiences of being given a role due to the director's belief he spoke Spanish was a massive instance where he could argue and shift blame. But he talks of how he just had to own up and learn from the situation despite how embarrassing it was in the current moment.

“We must learn the consequence of negligence- it’s not just what we do, it’s what we don’t do that’s important as well. We are guilty by omission”

To me, that quote means standing up for what is right even when it means hardship, persecution, and rejection is what you receive as a result. But first, you have to spend some time with yourself and work out who you want to be, what you want to believe, what morals and values you’ll have- then go out and own it.

Don’t try and solve everything

I like being able to sort things out. I like being able to help people. I like to feel valued. It’s one of my biggest insecurities; not believing I am good enough or adequate so therefore having to earn that relationship, right that wrong, prove a point. One of the biggest lies we are fed is that there is a correlation between our worth and our actions. Despite our rights or wrongs, we are loved and that changes everything.

One of the most heartwarming stories in the book was about the friendship between McConaughey and a Brother he met in a silent retreat in a monastery. I won’t go into all the details for those who haven’t read the book but Matthew specifically talks of this one encounter were talking to this Brother he was expecting lots of advice and him to solve all his issues out but none of that happened. In McConaughey’s place of confession and vulnerability, he awaited judgment yet instead what he received was pure authenticity.

[McConaughey] “I’ve tried to be a good man, to not lie and deceive myself, to be more pure of heart and mind, but I am full of lust, objectifying other people and myself. I do not feel a connection to my past nor see the path to my future, I’m lost. I don’t feel myself”… Brother Christian, who hadn’t said one word to me this entire time looked me in the eyes and in almost a whisper said to me, “Me, too”.

Reading that I see that it's not out of trying to do everything and pretend to know it all but instead to have honesty, love, and compassion in our actions, and sometimes that can mean admitting we don’t have a solution. Sometimes we don’t need advice, sometimes we need to just know we aren’t alone.

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There were many more great takeaways I got from the book and I was happily surprised at how much I enjoyed Greenlights. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to have a little bit of a reflective, introspective, slower read. Very different from many autobiographies out there.

To those who have read it, I hope you liked my thoughts and let me know what your takeaways were. Thanks for reading.