Knowing The Dimensions Of Positive Thinking

When I came across many of my great buddies who called themselves positive thinkers, I was impressed. Out of curiosity, I asked them on how they define positive thinking. They said, “I avoid negativity, to stay positive.” Some said, “they reframed negative moments positively.”

I agree that avoiding and reframing are great ways. Nonetheless, today I am going to introduce another way which I call, “Being The Furnace.” Before that I would like to share a short story on how positive thinking headed in the wrong direction.

I had an ex -colleague who hosts an exhausted expression most times at work as though he has been running for miles without water. His exhaustion divulged that, he was sandwiched between heavy work load, short deadlines and arduous efforts of battling stress.

I asked him on how he coped at work. He retorted with a fatigued voice, “I am happy, I love working here as I get to eat pizzas every Friday.” I probed further, “you…doing… good?” He replied, “I’m fine…I am a positive thinker dude!” Well, on that day I learned his positive thinking methods not only added pounds to his scale but also do away with reality. In other words, his way of positive thinking was diverting his attention to food instead of looking into the problem.

Right now, I would like say that…I am not against positive thinking. I am just making some room for us to understand better about what positive thinking is all about.

What I am saying is….we need to explore a little deeper about positive thinking.

I am pleased to share a beautiful and unique learning experience about positive thinking. It is from a meditation technique I learned from Atisha (an Indian Buddhist Enlightened Master).

Atisha teaches on, “how to use negativity instead of avoiding and reframing it each time.” He says, “visualize and inhale through your breath- the darkness of negativity from the world and exhale through your breath- the light of compassion, gratitude, love, peace and forgiveness into the world. In other words, Atisha says, “become the furnace that burns negativity and become the creator of positivity.”

This meditation awakened my thinking. I realized, the more I avoid negativity the more I might tend to see it. By reframing it with my arduous efforts each time, I might get myself exhausted. Hence, I deepened my views about positive thinking.

I learned positive thinking is the ability to use our strengths to handle the negativity. When a negative situation occurs, looking into our personal strengths like confidence, will power and motivation would aid us in overcoming negativity. It is about “tapping into our inner resources to battle negativity.”

Understanding Positive Reframing

Reframing is a skill that needs constant practice. Positive reframing is when we work on the negativity to reframe it. “Looking at the problem and not outside the problem,” is a reframing skill. If it is negative, sometimes it is good to accept it as it is and “become the furnace.” Practice saving some energy and never work too hard in reframing all negativities to positive notions.

A Short Story On Positive Reframing Done Incorrectly

Once a lady who went through an abusive relationship said that she learned to remain positive in her relationship. She shared with me that her spouse is better than her ex -spouse. Her ex-spouse abuses her daily and her spouse only does it weekly……

A Brief Overview On What Positive Thinkers Do, What Is To Be Avoided and Reframed?

Positive thinkers encourage, inspire, appreciate, motivate, affirm and express gratitude. They are less judgmental over others. They stay on their lane, and never make comparisons or envy. They never invest time finding flaws of others, demoralizing, criticizing progressions, successes and achievements. They have faith in future and never torment their present with negative emotions about future. They possess the mentality to subdue the negativities that are yet to come, and create a genuine sense of meaning for themselves.

Positive thinkers avoid jealously, greed, unnecessary whining, ratting, backbiting, complains and harm. They neither favor self-blaming nor externalizing blames and failures.

Positive thinkers reframe reality. What I meant by reframe reality? When I failed my engineering mathematics, I didn’t tell myself I scored well in sciences to console myself. Instead, I took it as “a wake up call” to give more focus and attention to my engineering mathematics.

How We Could Positively Reframe Words?

Instead of saying I do not want to remain fat, I could say that I want to be fit and healthy. The more positively we hear it, the more positively we are charged. Positive thinkers are able to “use the right word at the right time.”

Positive thinkers look for opportunities, resources, possibilities, exceptions and strengths inside a negative situation. Positive thinkers know that even the worst person they meet, has something valuable to teach them.

Positive thinkers learn lessons from past and think clearly in the present. They reason out solutions without rigidity, biases, assumptions and distorted perceptions.

Though avoidance and reframing are imperative. Mere avoidance and incorrect reframing used as prolonged coping methods for negativity, is like sitting on rocking chair (we could move but it takes us nowhere).

Through pain, we develop a “sense of awakening.” Hence, positive thinkers could use negative moments (pain) to create a sense of awakening. Avoidance and reframing supplements positive thinking. However, to facilitate our personal growth, enhance creativity and intelligence we have to build the ability “to become the furnace.”

We shall start practicing on “using negativity as a flame to create a light of positivity.” Let’s become the furnace.

I hope you enjoyed this story! Let me know if you like to read more about negative thinking and positive reframing in my forthcoming writings.