Kindness

Kindness is a conundrum. It brings up questions we don’t have answers to like why do humans show kindness? Is it because they want to help others? Or is it because they want to feel better about themselves? Psychological egoism is the construct that all people are selfish and do everything for selfish reasons. That every act of kindness has an ulterior motive. But is this true? And how do we disprove it?

To start, I decided to test the theory by acting on it. I did one act of kindness and one act out of selfishness. The act of selfishness was not giving my leftover food to the homeless. When I experienced this act, it felt unnatural and inhuman. It felt as if every bone in my body was forcing me to turn around and give it to the man. Like my soul was on fire and being electrocuted at the same time. In truth I did feel genuinely bad. But I also started thinking about how others on the street viewed me. Did they think I was a mean person? I suddenly cared how they saw me. So by default, wanting others to see me be good is selfish.

Next, I chose to do an act of kindness. The next day I bought a meal for the same man. This action felt more natural for me. Like my aura was cleared and the flowers could bloom again. But I also felt joy that people saw me do it. Again, selfish. But was it really? A man got a meal out of my actions. Therefore no matter the reasoning or the why, an act of kindness was shown and someone benefited from it. And in turn the people who saw were moved to do the same. Pretty soon, the whole street of homeless people had been donated to and given food to eat by people who wanted to help regardless of the true reason or why. In truth, kindness is in our nature. But another truth is that we have personal gain from these acts of kindness.

So what does this mean for humankind? It means that even if we are selfish beings by heart, we have it in our nature to show kindness for whatever reason. So we may not be doomed as a race after all. As long as we never stop acting on our nature. So who cares if we only donate to feel better about ourselves and boast about it on social media like many do? The point is that we donated. And in turn, others will donate because they now feel insecure and want to say they are good people too. So in the end good things are happening because of our selfishness. Most people only act on kindness so they can show off or brag about it. So what makes a genuine act of kindness?

The real acts of kindness are the ones that move others to act on their own. The ones that convince people they want to become a better person. Because each act of kindness we do, makes us a happier and kinder person than we were before. It helps us grow into new and healthy people. And our small actions can slowly change the world. In theory, there is no way of proving whether or not we are selfish. Whether or not we show kindness just to feel better about ourselves. But maybe that isn’t an issue. Because in reality, who cares if we only do something to gain from it? As long as we continue showing kindness isn’t that what really matters?