It Starts with "Eye"

March 16th, 2020; this date marks the last day I would physically go into the office.  I didn't know it then but I had just begun an amazing journey; one that has started to reshape my life.  I’m sure most could say that their life has been changed by the events of the last several months, but personally I would experience a true “tower moment” (for those of you who know something about tarot); total upheaval.  

For the first 30 days of quarantine our family of four attempted to establish a "new normal".  We set a new schedule and incorporated work, school, life and recreation as best we could into the confines of our single-family home (like half of our small suburban town).  About 45 days in, something shifted. It struck me that I had been handed an opportunity to put my life on pause and truly think about what I wanted. Was the balance I had “struck” between life and work enough for me? Was the career path I was on really satisfying me? Was I eating and caring for myself the way I truly wanted to be? If I could do anything with my time/life, what would it be?

Well, once I realized that I had been given a chance to inflict major change on my life, I kicked a personal transformation into high gear. I had an epiphany: I realized I didn’t have to live my life according to what other people wanted, or what was deemed “successful”. That meant spending my time my way, running my own life instead of my life running me. I could invest my time and energy towards “work” that brought me joy and give back to myself time to purse the ever-growing list of passions I had moth-balled for the last 17 years. I could (if I wanted) jump back into to my creative discipline of Graphic Design, I could dedicate more time to my home yoga practice and alter my eating habits, I could explore my interests in spirituality, reading, writing and travel. Quite simply, my time was mine and I could stop being bitter about “time wasted” and just go for it.

How was I going to actually accomplish this new life I discovered I wanted? Well I would have to ditch the desk job that I had dedicated the past 12 years to, growing from Office Manager to Partner (scary). And I would need an organization that supported remote employees in a creative discipline, or rather, find a “creative” line of work that could be done remotely. The goal: to live differently than I had been living. I went back and forth with myself for close to 4 weeks, while still juggling my current job, home, school and extra-curricular activities. It didn’t seem possible to carve out enough time to reinvent myself; so, I turned to meditation, deep self-reflection and I prayed.

Ask and yeh shall receive; the Universe handed me yet another golden opportunity. I was laid off. I will admit, originally, I was freaking out. I had never been unemployed before. Yes, I had been handed “extra” time, but I had also just been given an ultimatum. Anyone who has ever looked for a new job, voluntary or otherwise, knows that those types of changes take serious time, more than we think. I needed a plan. To achieve my goal of “living differently” I would need to expend my energy in a creative direction while performing whatever new job it was that I was going to be doing. This would help me build experience and a more robust portfolio. I knew I had loads of tangible business experience from my past career that could be useful, but it wasn’t directly aligned with where I wanted to end up. This began the process of re-writing my resume (which I hadn’t done in 13 years) and generating custom cover letters (joy of joys). Ultimately these tasks helped me solidify my vision. Voila! My focus needed to be on a remote job for a software company within the design industry. This would allow me a solid foundation (income) while providing me extra time to put towards my creative endeavors. I would be eliminating long commutes and running to and from work and home or sports, thus also gifting myself additional time.

Ok, so I had a focus and more freedom; show time! Now, I hadn’t “been in the (design) industry” for more than 12 years, I had no formal portfolio and was way out of touch with the latest tools and trends. This did, however, end up becoming a blessing in disguise. I picked up where I had left off after closing down my graphic design company (party of one) 13 years prior. I cracked open my old PowerMac G5 and dusted off all my old design pieces. Ready to go! Nope, think again. I discovered I had forgotten my admin password AND that the newest versions of pretty much ANY program or OS were no longer supported by this ancient machine. Ok, no problem, time to do some research and my tackle my first test of ingenuity and fortitude. After all I wanted to be my own boss right?

These issues started a chain reaction that would propel me in the right direction. Through this first obstacle I discovered a suite of new programs that was giving Adobe a run for its money and that I could in fact update the 2012 iMac I had acquired from a former employer to Catalina. I would have to “break in” to this machine too since the password had also been misplaced (no problem, I’d done it once already). Social media marketing took care of the rest. Due to my research to fix my login issue(s) and equip my computer with updated software my YouTube, Instagram and Facebook feeds were now full of design related software ads and videos about the latest and greatest in software trends and technology. Thank you, Big Brother.

Each of these ads became a conduit for growth, helping me unearth new job opportunities or to get introduced to a new skill set or program within my target industry. I’ve applied to some jobs, interviewed with others, connected with still other industry professionals, and have now started to generate a network of connections and contacts that will serve my higher purpose. I’ve picked up knowledge and started to expose myself to skill sets that are opening doors for me and immersing me in the world of design. It is an ever evolving, organic process, but each day something new inspires me and pushes me forward. Not so coincidentally each new inspiration has begun to build upon the last, helping me gather my skills into a laser focused direction. The more energy I put out there towards my intention, the greater the possibilities become, helping me ignite my new career in a creative field. The gift of time in order to reflect; a huge nod and appreciation to divine intervention!

So how does this image and photography play into all of this? In the midst of the journey that I’ve been explaining, I was inspired to create an Instagram page to help jumpstart my creativity, and to build up a network of Graphic Designers, UI/UX Designers and companies in the field. Not having any work to post just yet I decided to focus on my interest in nature and photography. Quickly this has turned into somewhat of an obsession. I was inspired to name the account m.eye, highlighting my perspective on the world. If I had to sum up my perspective I would say that it’s keeping my eyes and heart open to the majesty of the natural world all around, drawing inspiration from the world that existed long before we were alive and that will exist long after we leave it behind. Nature has a gift for balance and “design”, we should take notes from it, be present in each moment to notice its majesty and let it inspire us. It may even help us to slow down enough to listen to the voice(s) deep inside that get drowned out when the chaos of life takes over.

This has all been a huge, sometimes painful, process for all. But ultimately it will change me for the better. I believe the world will be better and wiser as well. At least I think we’ve collectively learned a lesson; we should all stop and take a moment to breath. If we don’t, the truly important thoughts, feelings and ideas get lost in the shuffle. It starts with “Eye”.