Inner Peace

You know that I am very straightforward and to the point for those who have read my content. I guess it's the German in me. One thing I learned after moving to the US, people here like things sugar-coated. I am just not wired that way. My goal is to touch a part inside of you that can either resonate or maybe even accept the challenge to change.

I love spiritual leaders these days because no matter what they say, somebody is sure to follow. I have been watching society hang on to the words of the most questionable "advisers" and wonder why they have such a big following. I finally conclude; They tickle the ears of those not willing to change but expecting changes.

As harsh as it sounds, if you expect changes without the willingness to alter your lifestyle, you will find yourself hanging on to the words of those who do not challenge you. That brings me to the latest I heard: If you have reached the level of inner peace like a monk, you have achieved pure tranquility.

Let's look at that for just a moment, shall we? Monks are known to live a lifestyle characterized by abstinence from sensual pleasures, generally to gain spiritual impeccability. Monks customarily live alone or with several other monks. While I admire any friar's dedication and self-discipline, I dare say that it is much easier to remain peaceful when there are few challenges. If I were surrounded by only like-minded individuals who prefer silence, I would not be tempted to lose my cool.

That being said, I believe that true inner peace has arrived when you are able to remain calm and collected in the biggest of diversities. When no matter what Karen throws at you, you don't feel the need to rip her head off but reply in a compassionate, loving manner, that is when you have reached authentic tranquility. When the world around you crashes and is set on fire, but your mind is focused on only that which you accept.

How do you get to that point? That's where the tickling of the ears ends, and the work begins.

The main goal is to get you to a vibration where nothing can rattle your cage to the point of frustration or defeat.

Get Rid of the Past

You have to give up that which doesn't add value to gain valuable things in life.

The biggest challenge I faced, and I see it in all of my clients, is the capability to release past traumatic experiences and "bad" decisions. We are human. Nobody expects us to be perfect, so why do we feel the need to make sublime decisions? We have made decisions in our past that we deemed righteous at the moment. We thought it to be the best move at that particular time. So really, there are no bad decisions unless you decide to get drunk and drive a car. That would be considered a terrible decision indeed. However, If you feel that your choice making has been questionable, first forgive yourself, get a journal, and write every day that from now on, you'll make the best decisions ever. For me, that looks something like this:

"Today, no matter what happens, I will make the best decision for my higher self. I am asserting the mastery of my real self."

You can make it whatever you want as long as it gives you the power to understand that you are doing the best you can. It is ok not to be perfect. If you strive for flawlessness, chances are you expect the same from others, and that may get you in the judgmental zone: Bad Zone; Best not to go there. Once you accept that you are allowed to make mistakes, you grab a slice of that beautiful inner peace.

If you have suffered afflictions from other people or even loved ones and would love to heal from that, I suggest you read one of my other posted stories (Retrain Your Brain). Coming from a foster home background, I have seen my share of abuse and am here to tell you that you CAN heal. It does take much more work than simply forgiving yourself and others; nonetheless, it is possible. Your past does not define you. Remember that.

2. Lose Your Ego

A new you does not exist with the old you still present. You have been raised with certain traditions, including traditional thinking. That has to go. Unless you have been experiencing nothing but harmonious peace, it is time to switch horses. Your old lifestyle has not worked for you find yourself constantly stressed and tense. If everything sets your fuse on fire, even the tiniest inconveniences, you're due for a mental overhaul. It's really not that hard. I started it to identify the things that are bothersome and happenings that bother me. Let me clarify:

Someone standing next to me in the supermarket, whilst chewing their gum extra loud, is something that bothers me. I have no control over the situation unless I want to smack the poor human and force them to get rid of their gum. It doesn't seem like a good solution, does it? I do, however, have control over myself. And if I am honest with myself, it is not that big of a deal. I have to endure this inconvenience for maybe five to ten minutes, and that person will forever be out of my life. And even if not, Say it is your spouse. Find a way to accept it as part of their personality and allow them to be themselves. If you can manage to let go of these insignificant details that bother you, I promise your life will be much easier.

If it is something bothersome, that means it could potentially be harmful to you or someone else. For instance: Your spouse continuously leaves the cabinet door in the kitchen open, and you bang your head on it every time. You have two options. You can

A. Talk to your spouse and hope that they will be more mindful, or

B. Understand that they are not doing it on purpose, and therefore you start paying more attention.

While one takes more discipline on yourself than the other, I suggest B. Why? Because it takes discipline on your part, and self-discipline is one if not THE most important ingredient in finding inner peace. By removing yourself from the equation, you initiate the process of accepting others' mistakes and not seeing them as a personal attack. Of course, if it is done on purpose and your spouse finds it funny that you get hurt, that is a different conversation.

3. Take Time for Yourself

I get it. You are busy with life, and your family, job, roommates, etc., depending on you. Great. Even so, if you are burned out and always on edge because you give in to the pressure of those around you, whether that is your boss, your spouse, or your kids, you are no good to anyone. It is imperative that you go to your favorite spot and rejuvenate. If you are into meditation, my personal remedy, then meditate. If prayer is

your secret to regenerate, pray. Need a spa moment to get back in sane mode? Make an appointment. Treat yourself like royalty. You are worth it. Learn to say NO. It is perfectly ok to be selfish when it comes to your mental health.

4. Stay Away From Bad News

Yes, that includes gossip on social media. Whatever you feed your subconscious guides 90% of your conscious actions. We are so conditioned to keep up with trends and news that we are oblivious to the real damage it does to our minds. It is alright to know what's going on in the world, but it shouldn't affect you to such a degree that you cannot function properly. It all goes back to: Can you control the situation's outcome? If the answer is no, you don't need to waste your energy on it. If it is political and you don't like how things are going, vote differently. Find another church if you don't like what the pastor is saying. Once you get to a point where no news mess with your vibrations, you can talk about them and even discuss these topics. Until then, I recommend you stick to reading the weather and discussing new recipes. I do not want to sound condescending or arrogant, but I will say this: I wished someone would have told me how to gain complete self-control over my reactions long ago. The amount of time I wasted on unimportant matters is ridiculous. Life is so much simpler once you can pay attention to the things that truly matter to you. You don't have to be a monk to live a peaceful life. You can experience true peace within you and accomplish all you desire. The power lies within you. Embrace it.