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Imperfection

Love made perfect

By Conan HasanPublished 4 years ago 5 min read
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Perfection made from imperfection

Imperfection

When I took this unedited photo toward the end of winter, outside of my house, I am reminded of one of the most difficult times of my life. I had been laid off from my job that I had enjoyed for many years and I had not figured out what the next chapter of my life would hold. I was angry with the people who had made the decision to let me go. After all I had dedicated my time and skills to a company that didn’t care about my thoughts.

I was so lost in my own self pity of imperfection that I had lost my confidence, thinking that there was something wrong with me. I didn’t know who to talk to; I was all alone in my stewed imperfections.

Until I looked out and saw these two beautiful flowers growing outside my house next to the porch. I sat in my rocking chair on my screened in porch after I had taken the picture. As I marveled at the perfect beauty of these two flowers my doubt, my worries, my problems became insignificantly small, lacking meaning. My thought,“This is a wonder,” a beautiful sight these two flowers were to sore eyes that had shed many tears over the past few months. How can two beautiful flowers grow when it is so cold, when dead leaves surround them, and when death seems to be the only life. This was my life in this moment in time; at least I felt this way.

I continued to sit on my porch musing over these two beauties. They to stood alone as I was alone. It seemed that they had nothing to depend on except each other. And I began to sob uncontrollably. I sobbed because I could see my pain and hurt in the loneliness of these flowers except the expression of pure demanding love for each other. I had no one; I was all alone. You see, they at least had each other to depend on in the cold, gloom of the day. I sobbed so grievously until I was able to forgive the people who had hurt me in the past.

A weight was lifted from me, a freeing weight that I had not felt before. I felt lighter, I felt more at peace than I had in months. I was open to hear my thoughts in the still peace and solitude. I was open to hear what God had to say about my situation. For months, maybe years since I was a little one, I was alone, but in that moment when I saw those flowers, soul to soul was brought together from what seem to be a slow death to an incomplete finish line. I knew in that moment that my life was not over and that God was not finished with me.

In haste I pulled out my phone to figure out what type of flowers that had stolen my heart. My new found love turned out to be a Lily.

The more I gave thought to the new found freedom that I now possess, the more I came to the realization that this was no accident. You see, the definition of lily is purity and fertility which meant a fresh start to life; a rebirthing if you will. Little did I know when I was let go from my job that this would be a

rebirthing for my life; a new beginning. The symbolism of red lily equates to passion.

My metamorphosis was rising in my heart so strong; like a caterpillar strongly wanting to become a butterfly. I started to make plans for my on organization. I started writing prisoners and helping the homeless. My passion for people hurting was constantly on my heart. God gave me a heart for what breaks His heart, a love so strong that I have to share it with the people that I come into contact with: the kindness of a stranger I say.

Many people are looking for connection and redemption in a world that is at time unkind and judgmental. I was in that world and I found connection and redemption in the most unusual place; outside my porch. We attempt to fit into a world that seems to have it all put together, not realizing people are hurting just as much as you are. It wasn’t until I was in a peaceful, heart-set state that I realized this truth. We put on masks hoping that others don’t find out the truth behind our hurt. We cover up with name brand clothing, with our makeup. We fill our hearts with the things that can’t bring us connection or redemption, and all along we continue to be stuck in years of cycles that bring more hurt.

Being stuck in years of cycles is costly and takes a toll on the family structure, and our society. We lose sight of what is important; fatherhood, motherhood. The gift of a child that God has blessed us with. After the family structure breakdown, who do we turn too.

What seemed like death in a cold and gloomy place the light showed up in the form of two red lilies and won over my heart. What seemed as if I were surrounded by imperfection was really perfection that only the Father knew. He had the plan all along, I had to remove from my heart the unforgiveness and allow love to step in. When I allowed love to heal the wounds of my heart that had never healed I was able to show the kindness and love to others and to myself. I never imagined that a lily would be imprinted on my heart forever.

What a perfect love that came from an imperfect situation

healing
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