"I'm Never Drinking Again"

SOMETIMES EXTREMES ARE GOOD

F​or those of us that live in extremes, the hot or cold type of life, the all or nothing way of living, it can be scary to hear the word "never" in any decision that we make. If we're aware that we are trying to work on our extremist ways of thinking, it can feel very... repulsive. And daunting. The word "never" can bring us peace and it can also destroy us. How... fitting for someone who lives in extremes.

I​ know that saying "I am never drinking again" can be an extreme way of thinking in the technical sense. The word "never" turns it into an extreme - and I completly understand the hestitation behind making this type of declaration for someone, like myself, who lives in extremes.

That "never" stamps a F O R E V E R onto your decision which can be too much to bear and then we quickly find comfort in the popular "NOTHING IN EXTREMES" mind-frame so we don't have to face the reality of what alcohol is doing to us. I tried this for years. Always cozied up to the idea that I don't want to do anything in extremes and this mindset kept me safely drinking away my life.

W​hat I mean by saying I live in extremes is that if I don't do anything all out, it doesn't count. For example, if I want to clean my bathroom sink, I HAVE to clean the floor, the bathtub, the toilet, or else that clean sink doesn't matter.

I​f I want to make faux leather earrings with my Cricut, I HAVE to make 30+ pairs and open up a shop and start a new Instagram and make money from it and promote on every single post or else it doesn't matter

If I don't workout 5 times a week at Orange Theory at a maxed out effort, I think that anything less than that is completely pointless. I think that 3 times is worthless, so then I beat myself up over it every week and the cycle continues.

I​ think that a 30 minute yoga session is pointless unless I do that 5 times a week and again - at maxed out effort.

I​ have to meditate for 30 minutes a day or nothing at all. 10 minutes doesn't mean shit.

I​ am constantly trying to find balance within these activities because the actitivies in and of themselves are so beneficial to me - the obsession over them is not. So since these activities have this inherent value, they get the privilege of staying in my life as I work on achieving balance in how and when I perform them.

H​owever, alcohol DOES NOT get the privilege of being included in reaching middle ground or "balance" in my life.

H​ere's what I mean:

E​xercise is WORTH IT to find a middle ground - acceptance that 3 times a week at Orange Theory is perfectly okay and DOES count. That a 15 minute walk DOES count.

M​editation is WORTH it to find a middle ground. Just 5 minutes has been shown to provide massive benefits to our mental health and wellbeing.

H​obbies are WORTH IT to find a middle ground.

E​ating is WORTH IT to find a middle ground because that's what sustains us. And last I checked, eating 4 cookies didn't ever make me piss the bed or punch people. (Eating is in its own category when it comes to extremes, however, because of the susceptibility to eating disorders which can be very detrimental, so I won't speak on that here because I am not a professional in that area... yet!)

A​lcohol is NOT worth it to find a middle ground because even a "middle ground" makes so many of us feel sick. And tired. And exhausted from the mental gymnastics of trying to moderate or find balance.

D​oes 3 drinks a week sound like a middle ground for you? For many people YES - and even on the low end. Hell, in my drinking days I would think that 2 drinks a night would be middle ground (14 drinks a week).

However, just 3 drinks a week increases a woman's chances of developing breast cancer by 15 PERCENT.

T​hat does not sound worth it to me to try and reach a middle ground with alcohol.

There is no good that comes from drinking. The relief you feel when you imbibe is temporary and the negative emotions like anxiety and depression come back swinging because your brain is trying to achieve homeostasis after receiving more dopamine than it should. Your liver works overtime to expell toxins from the alcohol. Your sleep is disrupted. Even just after a few, after our "balanced" ingestion of the drug.

E​xercise is so incredibly good for us, but it can obviously turn into something unhealthy if it becomes an obsession. But it has the POTENTIAL to be instrumental in healing our mental and physical health. Alcohol does not have that potential at all, so that eliminates it's privilege in being included in my quest to find balance in every aspect of my life.

R​eplace the word "alcohol" with meth or heroin, and there isn't even a question on whether or not we should eliminate that drug from our life FOREVER. "I'm never using meth again". Hey, that sounds great even if that word "never" turns it into a technical extreme.

Saying "never again" to alcohol is more difficult because of how romanticized it is in our society. You can thank Big Alcohol and their 1-2 BILLION DOLLARS spent yearly to advertise how glamorous their products are.

Countless studies have shown that no amount of alcohol is beneficial for us, and even if it is (the classic one glass of red wine shit articles we see everywhere), the negative effects completely outweigh the one possible small positive.

I​ believe it is possible for there to be good extremes. Such as never drinking again. It has brought me the utmost peace in my brain because I never again have to decide, "should I drink tonight?" Because the answer will always be a resounding NOPE.

I​t takes the mental gymnastics away. I don't have to use any brain power in making these decisions anymore because it is always going to be a "no, thank you."

H​owever, if this is something that does not bring you peace - and I believe everyone needs to feel true peace in their relationship with alcohol - I would recommend a 3 month total break from alcohol. That way, you don't have to think about forever. You don't have to use the word "never".

Y​ou just get to see what life is like for 3 months, and then re-evaluate. Was your life better? Were you happier? Less anxious? Less depressed? Did your relationships improve? How did you spend your time? And then you can make a decision on whether or not "never again" is a good exreme for you.

It has been the best extreme of my life.

S​ources:

https://www.npr.org/2018/08/24/641618937/no-amount-of-alcohol-is-good-for-your-health-global-study-claims

https://www.breastcancer.org/risk/factors/alcohol