I Know I Am But What Are You

I have found myself once again in the cycle of stressing over things beyond my control. Feeling overwhelmed and panicked about where my life is about to go. If I have learned anything along this journey to find myself it would be that whatever is meant to be, will be! That is it... plain and simple! Although, I know the emotions and worries tied to the unknown don't feel all that simple. This is where I have to keep training the gray matter between my ears to stop playing all the possible worst-case scenarios over and over. This does nothing but send my anxiety into overdrive. Not a state of being that aligns with forward motion. These thoughts only keep me idle and unfocused. Which in return promotes talks with myself that are unfavorable and unkind. If I am going to stay on track with my positive self-reflection and maintain the progress I have already made... I have to practice making a plan of action and not worry about what is outside of my control. As much as I have despised the phrase "It is what it is", it is a spot-on statement. The words couldn't be wiser.

It truly is what it is... (I know, kills me a little inside to even admit it!)

That is it, no more and no less. This is where I begin the brain training to keep reminding me, myself, and I, to stop having expectations of others, and to focus on what I can control. My thoughts, my actions, and the words I say out loud. What I am projecting into the universe for future goals. To let go of everything! I mean everything... past, present, and future! The more baggage I hold on to... the harder my climb to the next chapter of my life will be. It is imperative I stop making things so hard on me! Life doesn't have to be a challenge in order for me to be successful. Also, how I feel about myself takes precedence over all others. I am an adult and what others think of me is really none of my business. It's just another layer I don't need to add to my pile. Another element that is outside of my control. It doesn't matter what I do or say... there will always be someone who strongly differs and is not a fan of mine.

Not my circus, not my monkeys

The more I put these ideas into my daily way of thinking... the quicker I will find myself living in the land of happy happy! It truly is a strange concept to process... I am capable of doing whatever it is I want to do in my adult life. If I decided to become a criminal, I get to own that choice, I also get to own the negative consequences with it. If I decided to run off and join the circus... again, my choice! There will always be supportive "nouns" that will be on board with whatever makes me happy. However, they are just as guilty as the rest, in gossiping about the choices they were so supportive of! The cycle never stops to rest! Even the best of best "nouns" are guilty of falling into this.

Do you want to know the key to living a life you desire...

Stop inviting people into your personal business!!!

I get this is not a simple task, and initially may feel cold to put into action... but it is what has to happen if you want things to happen in your life that aligns with your passion and dreams.

I might be having the worst possible day ever and when my children stop by to visit I focus on the positives and provide little details to the what's, why's, or who's. I guarantee one out of my three children would have something negative to say about the path I am following. I am the adult. I am responsible for the choices I make... Good, Bad, or Indifferent!

My children just want to know I am healthy, happy, and safe. Anything beyond those conditions opens the door to them feeling worried, nervous, or guilty about me living by myself. Let me tell you empty nesting is not what it is cracked up to be. It takes some time to relearn living a life that is completely opposite of the image when they were the parent's responsibility to raise. Now my children are parents and there is a struggle to define who is parenting who.

I can tell you, I found myself going a little stir crazy not having someone to vent to when things took a turn to the left. I started talking to myself out loud. I wrote letters to those that hurt or upset me (which I never send)... whatever it takes to push through the moment and not let the "nouns" in on my stress. Sure, it feels good to vent at the moment, but not so good days or months down the road when the topic is once again presented to you in the form of their thoughts and opinions. Something that could have been processed with just me, myself, and I is now a topic of discussion. You also know, this means your issue has now traveled beyond just the listener's ear. So there is a long line of people that are playing the telephone game regarding you. The facts never stay the same and the story never comes out true.

No thank you!

The next important piece of advice... stop talking badly about the people you love to other people!

A little fun fact... there are always three sides to the story... hers, his, and the truth! People only share their perspective and it typically favors what they say or do...

When the "nouns" in my life attempt to pull me into this dirty triangle, I do my best to turn the venting session around and focus on the positives of what is being shared. To add insight from an outsider's perspective on the bigger picture.

How does that old saying go? If we all tossed our problems into a circle, after seeing everyone else's problems, we would gladly pick back up our own.

As human beings, we crave attention, we crave connection... all things that can still be fulfilled... just in a different aspect! Seek attention and connection in the form of value adds.

I know this is a lot to digest and even more to put into practice in everyday life but if you have the right mindset and maintain awareness of what you do and say... the day will come when you don't even realize you are living and breathing all of this, effortlessly!

You know who will notice, though... Everyone!!