I am still here

The long day in the secluded office on the second floor, cornered by inanimate objects and occasional counterfeit smiles; put a distressing dent in my evening routine. Having made a conscious choice to be on positive side of things, this was definitely an unexpected challenge to my awareness. However, afternoon radiance can also afford hopeful sparks in your life.

Because of the heavy load dropped over my desk at the start of the week, I decided to drive out and explore this little town. It is a picturesque place where I work. There are mom-and-pop stores lining up the road that cuts through the busy area. - I live in a city about 18 miles away from my place of employment, so as a foreigner must engage in provincial tourism when stress overwhelms the mind.

I took a different route, as I've grown tired of the same chicken and burger signs above entrances that appear hermetically sealed at this hour of day. I wanted to drive aimlessly. I didn't want to be distracted by anything that reminded me of this place: the abandoned corner shops on the main road, the rusty railroad obstructive and always robbing the city the nostalgic views of traditional neighborhoods. I felt strongly connected to outside forces to stop this city from bringing anyone down.

I realized that was a tall order, but I had to try. The thoughts of doubt began to attach to some seed. "This should not germinate," I thought. The spread has not occurred. The infestation of bad seed has not found allies within my system. Rather than feeling panic, or hysteria, I refused to send frustration out. I refused to allow the wrong communication to be sent, or the misleading words to be uttered. The signal that this hopelessness seed was expecting was not to be even mentioned. I resorted to distraction quickly. My mind, like an automatic recovery system, began to search for the loveliest of images and memories.

Suddenly, the roads, the people, faded into another image. My subconsciousness took over the command upon my request. The order was to allow myself to receive the guidance so that I could find you again, you, the one who soothes, refreshes; that which uplifts when I need it the most, that which answers my call, that one voice within me that finds all my answers. That which never fails.

I found myself under a plentiful swaying tree; engine stopped, listening to the whisper of playful leaves. The invitation couldn't be, shouldn't be declined. The tension rose and I opened the door, walking onto the green, into the light, away from the protection of canopies, feeling more confident.

Lost in the rhythmic patterns of glimmers of the ponds, in the singing of frolicking birds, I made a journey towards the object of the call, unknowingly. Neither did I hear the footsteps, nor did I heed the rush of winds. My mind was occupied in the moment, closer and closer without even aware of distance.

Came to a halt, as I lifted my gaze upon majestic view - stood there in awe, as a solid, immovable tower, contemplating reverential thoughts of sources well known. The kindness of nature favored my soul - gave to me the treasures that I was looking for, that I called. And this endless nature allowed me to capture our moment of joy.

In the mornings I wake up and set the path for a good day. It is the time when I receive from what I send, from the sweet requests. No longer do I dedicate most of my sweet wishes to others during this time. At the end of the day, the glorious kindness of eternal nature is still there.