How to Stop Overthinking?

Overthinking is like lying in bed at the end of a long day, with thoughts flooding your mind until insomnia takes over.

"I'm 30 and still single; love has abandoned me!"

"The doctor suggested further tests—am I going to die?"

"A colleague didn't greet me today—did I offend her somehow?"

If any of the above resonates with you, or if you've experienced similar situations, it indicates the presence of "mental exhaustion" in your life.

So, what exactly is mental exhaustion?

What is Mental Exhaustion?

In simple terms, mental exhaustion is when you overanalyze a casual remark from someone, thinking about it endlessly, leading to a spiral of pointless thoughts that only make you feel worse.

From a psychological perspective, self-control consumes mental resources. When these resources are depleted, the individual enters a state of mental exhaustion, which, if prolonged, leads to fatigue.

Many people who suffer from mental exhaustion are highly sensitive, overthinking every detail of a situation.

They often set unrealistically high standards for themselves and, when they fail to meet these standards, fall into a vicious cycle of self-criticism.

Signs of Mental Exhaustion

Indecisiveness and Fear of Making Choices

Having a friend with decision-making difficulties can be a nightmare; they tend to:

• Spend half the day deciding where to go on a weekend outing, getting more confused with each option.
• Flip through the entire menu at a restaurant, unable to decide, then ask you what you want to eat.
• Receive multiple job offers, ask for your opinion, and still be unable to choose.

Another classic example:

I have a friend who wanted to apply to Apple.

He asked his cousin, "The competition at Apple is so fierce—will my resume even get through?"

Cousin: Just apply first.

A few days later, the cousin asked, "Did you submit your resume?"

Friend: No, I heard the interview process has multiple rounds, each harder than the last, and I'm not sure I can handle the questions.

Cousin: Just apply first.

A few days later, the cousin asked again, "Did you submit your resume or not?"

Friend: No, I heard Apple's performance evaluations are very strict. If I don't pass the probation period, I'll have to find another job.

The cousin was speechless, and my friend was miserable. Despite doing nothing, his mind had already tortured him multiple times, leaving him utterly drained.

Procrastination and Inefficiency

"Never starting until the last minute" is a classic sign of mental exhaustion, resulting in brief moments of happiness followed by continuous stress.

For example, on Sunday, just as you're about to start your homework, you start playing video games instead.

You think, "I'll play for a bit first and then do the homework," which results in rushing to finish it at the last minute.

The worst part of this approach is that while you're playing, you're constantly thinking about the homework, feeling guilty and not fully enjoying the playtime.

Then, as the deadline looms, you rush into action, filled with anxiety, resulting in incomplete homework and unsatisfying leisure time, exhausting yourself in the process.

Overthinking and Unnecessary Worrying

People with mental exhaustion tend to complicate things, getting overly anxious about every minor change in their environment.

For example:

• a father hears that his son wants to join the army and spends his days crying and worrying about his son's safety.
• Seeing his daughter walking with a male classmate, he immediately imagines they're in a relationship and starts treating others poorly.
• He hears a rumor that the government will take land and starts worrying about not getting fair compensation.

His wife sees him depressed all the time and advises him to write down his worries and get on with life. Years later, while sorting through his things, the father finds the list and realizes that none of the things that once caused him so much pain ever happened—it was all in his head.

How to Avoid Mental Exhaustion

Don't Suppress Yourself

Dostoevsky once said:

"Try setting yourself the task of not thinking about a polar bear, and you'll find that the polar bear keeps popping up in your mind every moment."

Psychologists refer to the thing you're trying to forget as the "white bear." They conducted an experiment to test "how one can completely forget something," and the results showed that the more you tell yourself "not to think about the white bear," the clearer it becomes in your mind.

This shows that forcing yourself to suppress thoughts will only backfire.

So next time you start overthinking, try shifting your focus.

Instead of "don't think about the white bear," try "think about a pink Peppa Pig."

Give Yourself Positive Psychological Suggestions

Psychological suggestions can either save you or ruin you.

For example, the same event can trigger different emotions in different people, a phenomenon known in psychology as the ABC theory.

Take the example of failing an exam:

you might feel inadequate and lose confidence for future exams.

In the ABC theory, B is your belief about A, the event, which leads to C, the resulting emotion.

If, instead of feeling defeated, you view the failed exam as an opportunity to identify which knowledge points you're weak in, you'll be more motivated to improve.

Everything has two sides. If you keep fixating on small negatives, things will only get worse. It's better to focus on what the situation taught you.

Act Immediately After Thinking

Action is one of the most effective ways to reduce mental exhaustion. When you're caught in a cycle of indecision and doubt, taking immediate action can weaken the hold of these negative emotions. But since people tend to procrastinate, how can this be overcome?

1) Make Your Tasks as Specific as Possible

The brain responds better to clear instructions, so when setting goals, be specific and set a clear timeframe.

For example, "Get an apple from the fridge at 2 PM" is much easier to act on than "Find something to eat in the fridge this afternoon."

Setting a specific time works because of a psychological phenomenon known as the "deadline effect," where having a time limit helps focus your efforts.

2) Just Commit to 10 Minutes First

Action becomes easier as you get closer to your goal.

The brain loves "immediate feedback," which is why you often get distracted by pop-ups when you start working on a computer.

These distractions prevent you from focusing on your task.

So next time, when you start working, tell yourself to "just stick it out for 10 minutes," and you'll find that after 10 minutes, you won't want to stop.

That's the end of the article, so let's summarize:

First, overthinking is a form of mental exhaustion that drains all your energy. Once you're in a state of mental exhaustion, you'll find yourself indecisive, procrastinating, and overly sensitive, turning every small thing into a big deal.

To avoid mental exhaustion, you can use three methods:

1. Don't suppress your thoughts; instead, shift your focus.
2. Give yourself positive psychological suggestions.
3. Take action immediately after thinking.