How to stay happy after all your dreams come true

“In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there’s nothing you can’t do, now you’re in New York, these streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you, let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York”

As a kid, I was a dreamer. I grew up on an island in rural Denmark, in a small town with around 500 inhabitants. Although I had a great childhood, amazing friends, and a loving family, I always had this longing for more. Influenced by American TV and music, I spent most of my teens dreaming of leaving this small town and “making it big” in New York City — always looking for something bigger and better.

From the very first time I watched the concrete jungle unfold on my TV screen in a Hollywood movie, I just knew that’s where I wanted to live. Obviously, I had no idea when or how I would get there. I just knew that one day I would make it happen. At 35, my biggest dream had come true.

Culminating with Alicia Keys performing “Empire State of Mind” at the Global Citizen Festival 2019 in Central Park.

The next morning, I woke up feeling exhilarated. And then I started thinking, what now? At that point, I realized everything I had ever dreamed of had come true; I’d lived in London for many years; I’d swum with turtles in the Maldives; I’d white water rafted on a river in Nepal; I’d celebrated New Year’s Eve on a boat in Sydney Harbour; I’d lived in a high-rise in NYC with a view of Central Park; and so many more.

But did I feel truly happy? Was I fulfilled? Unfortunately, the answer was no. Here I was, literally living my biggest dream, yet I didn’t feel as good as expected.

Should I build new dreams? Bigger and better dreams? Somehow, I knew it wasn’t going to work. If living my biggest dream didn’t make me happy, then nothing else external would.

That same year, I had started working with a revolutionary health and wellness startup and had learned true happiness comes from within, and at any given moment, any one of us can choose to be happy. I understood this intellectually. But that morning, I finally grasped the truth of this concept.

Of course, it’s great to want things and have big dreams, but don’t expect those things to make you happy. These material things might bring pleasure in the moment — and we should all continue to enjoy and pursue them — but they are not what keeps you happy for life.

Expecting happiness from external sources is giving up your power.

Happiness is a pleasant emotional state characterized by feelings of contentment, gratitude, joy, general well-being, and similar. Emotions affect our thinking, and our thinking affects our emotions. Similarly, the mind influences the body, and the body influences the mind. We can use this knowledge to implement a few simple practices to help bring more positive emotions into your life.

Think positive thoughts

The same way you can bring up feelings of anger and anxiety by thinking of a person who has done you wrong, you can bring up feelings of happiness by thinking about the things you love.

It requires lots of practice, and it is never too late to start. Catch yourself when a negative thought pops up. Stop it, and think of something positive instead; your next planned holiday or a previous one; your partner, your kids, your passions — anything that brings a smile to your face.

Just smile

And speaking of smiling, just do it. Even if you don’t feel happy in the moment. The very act of smiling sends a signal to your brain to release feel-good hormones like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. Research has shown that even a fake smile can have a positive impact on mood.

Make other people smile. Smile at everyone you meet and enjoy the joy on their faces as they return the favor. Research shows, that when we see other people smile the reward center in our brain is activated. It’s a win-win situation.

Look up

Look up several times a day. When you’re walking outside, count the rooftops and chimneys. A practice that many psychiatrists use for depressed and anxious clients. And it really works if you can make it a regular practice.

The point is to avoid looking down for too long at a time. When you’re at work, make a habit of looking up from your screen several times during the day. Do you use your smartphone a lot? Hold it at eye level when in use, rather than looking down at it.

Get outside

Go for long walks — out in nature if you can. Go outside into the fresh air and breathe in deep. Hold it in for a few counts and breathe out slowly. If you’re close to water, go to it, sit down and look at the ripples for a while and just enjoy it. Gaze at the clear blue sky or the starry night.

Move your body

If thinking positively isn’t quite doing it for you on any given day, move your body. Any activity will do, and do it for at least 15 minutes. As with smiling, feel-good hormones like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins are released.

As a bonus, exercise is one of the best ways to improve general well-being.

Practice gratitude

Begin a gratitude practice. Start your day by writing down all the things you are grateful for. It doesn’t have to be much, big and small things matter equally, and it changes daily. Whatever you write down, really feel it and be sincere. Stay with each item on your list until you truly have a feeling of gratitude in your gut.

Final thoughts

Dreams are good. They are there to guide us and to give us something to work towards. However, achieving your wildest dreams will not necessarily make you happy in the long run.

The only way to continually experience such feelings of joy is to cultivate happiness. Simple practices like the ones described above can help you do just that.

Here's to a happy and healthy life.