How To Get Rid Of Perfectionism's Constraints

No one is perfect, and yet, many of us strive for perfectionism. We think that if we can just do everything perfectly, then we’ll be happy and our lives will be perfect. But that’s not the case. In fact, perfectionism often leads to anxiety, depression, and a whole lot of stress.

So how do you break free from the pressure of perfectionism? Here are a few tips:

-Start by acknowledging that you are not perfect and that’s okay.

-Focus on your strengths and don’t worry so much

Perfectionism is often worn as a badge, and people take pride in being perfectionists, but there’s more to this personality trait than meets the eye.

Who is a perfectionist

A perfectionist is a person who feels the need to attain excellent standards in everything they do. Their need to ‘get things right’ is so strong that they don’t settle for anything less than the best.

Perfectionists take their passion for high quality too far.

What starts as a need for perfection turns into compulsion and, finally, obsession, which stops the perfectionists in their tracks, prevents them from moving forward, and hurts their work and personal life.

How do you know if you’re a perfectionist

There are certain telltale signs that can help you know if you are a perfectionist:

• You have standards for yourself
• You work too hard to achieve perfection in whatever you do
• You fixate on your flaws and imperfections
• You are judgmental
• You are always anxious to get things right
• You try to control situations and people around you
• You are extremely picky
• You are overly critical of yourself and other people
• You beat yourself up for minor mistakes

Perfectionists, therefore, excessively focus on controlling things stress too much on getting things perfect. It becomes difficult for them to achieve goals, and in the long run, they end up accomplishing less than other people.

What’s wrong with perfectionism

Seeking flawlessness everywhere and refusing to accept anything that doesn’t meet the high perfect standards can sometimes do more harm than good.

People often don’t pay attention to this aspect of theirs and suffer endlessly.

On the surface, there seems to be nothing wrong with perfectionism — you’re only striving for high standards in what you do.

However, there’s a thin line between ‘high’ and ‘perfect.’ Most perfectionists don’t realize when they cross the boundary and find themselves on the other side.

Perfectionists have an eye for perfection, sweat over petty things, and keep seeing flaws and mistakes in their work, though it looks ‘good enough to others.

A perfectionist will keep perfecting their work — doing things repeatedly — till they get the stamp of approval from within, which is hard to come by.

No matter how proficient you are in your work or area of expertise, aiming to perform exceptionally puts you under extreme stress and adversely impacts your mental health.

“Done is better than perfect.”

— Sheryl Sanberg

How to let go of perfectionism

Perfectionists find life overwhelming because they are rarely satisfied with what they do and constantly strive for unattainable high standards.

Here are four ways to ditch perfectionism and design a happy life for yourself.

1. Give yourself realistic standards

Perfectionism usually comes in your way of accomplishing goals because perfectionists set the bar too high for themselves. The mighty goals then look scary and unachievable, and you hesitate to get started for fear of falling short and failing to get there.

So if you want to give up perfectionism, begin by examining your goals and aspirations and assess if what you are trying to achieve is within your reach.

The thing with giving yourself achievable goals is that you’ll not only reach them with ease but also succeed in tapping your full potential. And the more goals you reach, the more confident you’ll become. This will help deepen your self-belief and give you the courage to raise the bar higher for yourself.

2. Overcome the fear

“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.”

— Michael Law

Many times the compulsion to do excellent work stems from the feeling of insecurity instead of a genuine desire to be perfect.

To get over the fear of getting things wrong or failing to match up to the high standards of yours or others, see things in perspective and allow yourself to do what you are capable of without pushing yourself too hard.

Once you get in the habit of working without fear, you’ll be able to focus better on improving the quality of work and do your best.

3. Practice self-compassion

Perfectionists are highly harsh with themselves, and they are critical of even small mistakes. This adversely affects their work performance, making them even more frustrated.

Instead of beating yourself up for not measuring up to your perfect standards, practice self-compassion, show some kindness to yourself, and understand that you have your limitations.

“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.”

— Christopher Germer

Instead of criticizing your work, turn the inner critic into a supportive friend and encourage yourself to be patient with yourself.

Don’t get paranoid about getting things wrong. Everyone makes mistakes; it’s no big deal. When you err, instead of being angry with yourself, figure out what went wrong and where and how things could have been prevented from going south.

Showing compassion towards yourself will give you the conviction to work without fear and avoid repeating mistakes.

4. Give your best and stop at that

We all have our individual ability to do work. When you have a task to perform or a goal to achieve, pursue it with passion, and work for it with total dedication and commitment.

Once you’ve given your hundred percent to the task, be content with doing a good job. There may be a few gaps or mistakes in the work that you do, but you’re only human, and all you can do is your personal best.

Put your heart and soul into your work and don’t worry or stress about controlling what is beyond your power to manage. Stop chasing flawlessness and perfection, instead give what is in your capacity to do.

In Conclusion

Perfectionism, if practiced up to a moderate degree, can serve you well and inspire you to bring out the best in you. But if you go overboard with it, being perfect can become your Achilles heel and prevent you from becoming successful.

Accept your best and don’t unduly worry about over-delivering, reaching impossible goals, or delivering unachievable quality of work. Remember, ‘getting done’ will help you move forward, not ‘perfecting and not finishing’ the task.

“You are magnificent, perfect in your imperfections, and wonderfully made.”

— Abiola Abrams