How To Embrace Your Shadow Self
A guide for people who are conflicted.
For those of you that are feeling conflicted emotionally, psychologically, spiritually or by any other means, then this article was written especially for you.
Believe me when I say you will be truly happy when you can see yourself clearly, see your life clearly and when you stand strong in who you are and do not deny any aspect of yourself and your being. Any bad habits or abusive behaviour is just an coping mechanism and is not to be embraced, but to be unboxed and dealt with at a comfortable pace for you.
Realise that without dark, there cannot be light and without light there is no dark. You have to go through times of not knowing who you are, having odd habits and making questionable decisions and you have to have those "I feel guilty but I shouldn't" moments and here's why: those moments are your true shadow coming to the forefront.
Your shadow self is the side of you that you keep hidden out of fear of judgement or the side that you were forced to suppress as a child from the very second your parents spotted it because as many of us know, parents want a perfect child or they want to mould you into who they want you to be not always but a lot of the time. This is where you lose yourself and your shadow can also disappear in relationships, hence why so many women have identity crises later on in their marriages or after divorce they have to 'find themselves' again.
Let me make it absolutely clear, just because it is called your 'shadow self' it does not necessarily mean it's bad, it is simply the untapped side of you, the side of you that you have rejected but then wonder why the parts of you, you reject is constantly reflected in others, especially through the people we attract. If you have not 'faced those demons', then you cannot ever truly be balanced and fully accepting of yourself.
A very good video for embracing your shadow self can be found on Teal Swan's channel titled 'Diving Deep (Shadow Work) - Teal Swan '.
And let me just say, I would not recommend something to someone that I don't truly 100% believe in, myself. Trust me, this works!
The key to fully embracing who you are is to ask questions, instead of getting lost in someone else to avoid your own problems, get lost in getting to know yourself, understand your thinking, know what truly motivates you, learn why you react the way you react to things, notice feelings when they pop up, ask yourself and find the answers to why you feel guilty about the things you like and about who you are. Do you really need to feel guilty about the things you like and about who you are? Probably not.
Say for example you grew up crying more often than your parents would like, your parents will beat you or tell you off (whichever best suits their style of parenting) so that you grow up not expressing sorrow or dissatisfaction, you will grow up despising this very behaviour in others and maybe even look down on them.
For instance, maybe you liked a certain style when in your infancy that your parents rejected and because you had no choice at the time, you went along with your parents wishes to win over their approval and affection. Growing up you will then naturally reject any elements of yourself that do not win over the approval and love of anyone you care about.
It's more than fair to say, your shadow self is composed of elements of yourself that your family and loved ones have rejected time and time again and have tried to "change" or "correct" about you. This is mainly because a majority of parents want you to be who they want you to be and want to live their lives through you. You have to unpack this and reverse the restriction that has been forced upon you as you progressed through childhood, to adolescence, into adulthood. It is a long journey, but all the while worth it. Never deny yourself, never deny who you truly are because in living a lie, you are living a false life.
I wish everyone who reads this article will grant themselves their birthright of becoming the person they were truly meant to be and that you will all live happy, prosperous lives!