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How I overcame everything that “Statistically” I shouldn’t have.

by Kia Spurney 11 months ago in healing

There’s hope for & in everyone.

How I overcame everything that “Statistically” I shouldn’t have.
Photo by Rosie Kerr on Unsplash

Growing up as an adopted child & being raised by a single mother was hard.

For us both.

We were two totally different people- with different minds, outlooks and experiences. I started out in a loving home, before I was taken away by my biological mother. Then, everything changed.

Life threw me experiences and challenges that were sad, confusing, heartbreaking and painful.

Could you imagine being six years old and hearing a knock on the door only to find that 2 government agents dressed in suits were there to take you away?

Talk about new beginnings.

First off, It’s hard loving someone with a mental disease. It really is no joke- and it hurts when you have a big heart. Big hearts cause us to change thoughts and outcomes even when our mind, body & soul scream something different, therefore altering our most important life altering decisions.

I can remember living in homeless shelters, being fed old food with roaches in it, having to sneak vitamin C tablets as food to cure my rumbling stomach & being tied up to a bed while a man touched my body and did things no man should ever do to a child.

I can remember hiding when I heard a mans voice, afraid of what would happen next.

I remember thoughts & feelings that would tear most people apart.

The saddest part? That all was my norm. It seemed “OK”. I didn’t know any different.

Now, statistically, females who have a history of sexual abuse tend to be hookers, strippers, sex workers, or just straight up drug addicts.

When someone takes that choice away from you, it changes your entire life. Your confidence. Your sexuality. Your voice. Your trust. Your sanity. All so some man could bust a nut and make himself feel good.

It at times can alter sexual encounters & interactions for the rest of the victims life. How do you learn to love & be accepting of the very thing that tore your life and soul apart?

Is it ok to like sex? Is it a BAD thing? Should you feel bad for craving it?

All these things are tough to battle, especially in the 21st century where sex and the sex industry is booming. Sex is for sale everywhere, every website, and now, more than ever, it is easier for your partner to leave you for anyone who throws it at them.

Humanity is just splendid, ammiright?

What a time to be alive.

But we have a choice. Every. Single. Day.

You can become a victim, or a victor.

With faith, prayers and many tears, god showed me that I don’t need to become what they “say” will become of me. What matters is what I do, who I touch spiritually, and what difference I can make on this earth.

I am now 23 years old, have a beautiful family and recently became a business owner. Far from what I “should” be, right?

Too often were caught up and worried about keeping up with the Jones’s that we don’t reflect enough. Are you who you are today because it’s what you’re “supposed” to be?

Do you come from a family of nurses so you HAVE to be a nurse? Mechanic? Lawyer?

No matter if it be family pressure or stereo type, you have to remember you are the most important person in your life. Don’t follow what everyone thinks you should be.

Listen to you.

Challenge yourself to grow everyday.

Live your life with no regrets.

Screw the stereo type or the family pressure.

Live your best life.

Find and be the best you.


Kia Spurney

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