How Being Stuck in a Situation Can Do Wonders

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a situation (it can be your job, a relationship, or studies) and didn't see a way out of it? Life is not easy, but it won't be fun if it was. The difficulties and tough times are the opportunities to grow.

I have found myself stuck in situations now and then in the last ten years. I amaze myself with the shift in mindset and growth I achieve whenever I pull myself out of these situations. Let me take you on a journey through my doubtful moments and show how you can get out of them and be better in the process.

The First Time

During my 2nd year of bachelor studies, I realized that I have opted for a major that is uninteresting to me. I had chosen Electronics as my major, but after spending almost a year and a half, it was evident that I don't want to pursue it as a career. I wanted to pursue Computer Science (CS) as my major.

The initial reaction was what to do now that I have wasted almost two years of my life studying something that doesn't energize me. I talked to a few seniors and my friends at the university only to get scattered suggestions. It left me even more confused. I also spoke to the university administration if I can change my major but to no avail.

After thinking about it on my own for a while, I decided to learn concepts on my own that are taught in the program. After classes and assignments of my major, I dedicated 2 hours every day to study and grasp CS fundamentals. I also attended workshops on CS to reduce the gap I had from my CS peers.

Sure enough, I had less time to socialize and have fun like my peers, but I was dead set to get a job in IT after finishing my four-year studies.

The first fruit ripened at the end of 2nd year when I got an internship in an IT company. I continued studying CS on my own and got another internship after the end of 3rd year.

Getting two internships based on self-study strengthened my belief in the following mindset:

I can achieve my goals if I work dedicatedly towards them even though I am stuck in an unfortunate situation.

I acquired the best result of this mindset in my final year, where I secured a full-time job in an IT company. The best thing about this job was the salary I was offered. This salary put me in the top 5% among my peers who had secured a job.

The Second Time

It happened during my 3rd year as a professional. I had switched companies only a couple of months ago. As you can guess, I was working as a Software Developer. I enjoyed this role in the first company. Due to unfortunate circumstances, I had to change companies.

I liked the work I was assigned. The problem was the work culture. There was always a lingering hostility in the work environment. There was no scope for new ideas. I was expected to work for more than 10 hours every day, whereas the contract was for 9 hours a day. I didn't mind a few extra hours if the work environment allows you to thrive and be mentally healthy.

I worked in this company for a mere five months, but I dreaded every minute of it. This job had me relocated. I missed working in the previous company.

I was continuously thinking about ways out of this situation. Through constant contemplation, I came to the following two solutions:

1. I can change my job again.
2. I can fulfill my desire to do a Master's degree in CS, possibly from a foreign university.

After weighing the pros and cons of both options, I chose the second. The biggest unknown in the first option was, what if the next company I join turns out to be the same. I didn't have the energy to keep going through the draining environment anymore. I wanted a change. There couldn't be a better alternative for change than the second option.

In my second month of this job, I started preparing to apply for a Master's program in Germany. In nine months after starting the preparation, I had landed in Germany, which was more than two years ago.

This experience led to the birth of the following mindset:

There is always a way out of an unfortunate situation. Put forth your options and see which works best for you.

I am almost done with my Master's now and will be looking for full-time jobs in Germany. I have done a couple of part-time technical jobs in IT companies here in Germany. It turns out I like their work ethic and work environment better than my home country. This registers as another win in my book because of a decision I made three years ago.

The Most Recent Time

The last time I felt stuck in a situation was only a couple of months ago. Even though I am an IT person by formal training, but I am a writer in my heart. I finished my first book in November 2020. To build an audience for my book, I decided to devote all my time and energy then onwards to social media. I did that for six months only to be left depressed.

After talking to a couple of close friends, they suggested I seek professional help. After contemplation, I did. The core issues unearthed during my sessions with the therapist were that I lack self-compassion, make myself feel guilt, and worst of all, I hadn't written anything in the last six months.

The reason for the depression was putting in so much time on social media only not to meet the set expectations along with the removal of joy I received from writing.

With the therapist's help and my stubborn demeanor of not being stuck in unfortunate situations, I devised a plan of action. I will let go of my expectations of social media. Instead, I will focus on the process. I will allow myself to make mistakes, learn from them and grow. The goal of social media will be to put my work out for the world to see but without expectations. It will be accompanied by writing more.

I am posting content on social media when I feel like it, but I have not looked at the insights in the last two weeks. I haven't been happier in a long while. Writing without thinking about the numbers is giving me immense joy.

The following mindset took birth from this stuck situation:

Focus on the process, not outcomes. Goals are a marathon, not a sprint. Treat them like such.

In Conclusion

During these stuck moments, I never gave up. I always strived to look for solutions to get me out of these situations. Fortunately, I always found some way or the other, either by myself or with the help of friends or a professional.

If you find yourself in something similar, don't give up. Think about the situation in its entirety. Look for possible ways out of the problem and then weigh these possible ways on their merits. Select the one that suits you best in that moment of your life.

I know as life will go along, I will have more such stuck moments. But I am sure that I will always strive to come out of it whatever it may be. I wish the same for you.

Thank you for reading!