Home: The Place You Discover Everything You Are

I've spent my entire life in the slow-moving pace of a small town. The countryside, though undoubtedly beautiful, comes with many frustrations for a young heart like mine. In a world as small as Cobleskill, you realize that there is so much beyond the invisible walls that we call home.

For 23 years, I've been searching for something beyond the grasp of my intellect. A feeling that's undeniable and palpable.

I've traversed to the mountains of Switzerland.

I've found peace at the oceanfront edges of Ireland.

But here – only a few hundred steps from the place I've called home for most of my childhood is where it all came together. My heart was calling for a place that felt like home. Little did I realize that I was already there. There wasn't some spectacle of imagination in an unknown land that I had to search for – it was me waiting for for…me. It was me waiting for me to define what this world, this life, love, home, and everything beautiful means. This task is something we all fear to take. For it not only means we are responsible for ourselves, but we have to live in the unknown. To step into our authenticity, we must leave behind all that we know and explore where no other has before.

In a world as complicated as the one we live in, defining what life means to you is no easy task. Distractions await you at every corner to pull you onto the path of someone else. Pain keeps your fingertips just short of everything you want as hate drags you down further. But through the labyrinth of enflamed halls, I have emerged as the most authentic version of myself. I found my definition of what home is and what I hope to give to my future family in the best way I know.

It's where I decided to travel the world.

It's where I found the love within myself that I want to spread to the world.

It's where I realized that I have no choice but to be a writer – and the freeing burden that brings.

Home is an intrinsically fundamental component of our lives. Still, for so many like me – we don't realize what it really means to us until much later.

Do I think I will live and die in upstate New York? Will I stay within a few miles from where it all began? Life seems to be pulling me away from everything I've ever been as I face the unknown with unbridled grit. So, no, I don't think I'll spend the rest of my life here.

I bring this picture to you today, not because it's some cozy corner in the place I call home. Nor do I share it because of the vivid colors that paint the harmonies of nature.

No.

I share it today because it's my farewell to all I've ever known and all I've ever been. I'm saying goodbye to all the struggles of adolescence. I'm also saying goodbye to a childhood of fun and love. In all of this, everything I ever have been had eroded with time, but somehow becomes undeniably me.

My adventures in life are just beginning, and I'll see more than I could have ever imagined – I have no doubt about that.

And with that said – to all my fellow dreamers, I say to you, this:

Run – Run as fast as you can.

Give yourself permission to live with all of your heart.

This life is so much, and it does not become meaningful until YOU give it meaning. Don't be afraid because, "from this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety" ~ Shakespeare.

Trudge once more into the deep unknown. And stand up to fight one last time, every time. For no matter how dark the tunnel seems – the light is always there to shine at the end so long as you dare to be yourself.

And when you see the beauty of this world – whether it be the Emerald Isle or the grace of infinite eyes – Dare to be everything you never thought you could be.

But remember – home is where it all began.

Home is where you became you.

**Photo Details**

This photo was taken less than a mile from my house in upstate New York. I endlessly debated myself to go on a jog, and I dragged myself from the comfort of my bed. As I was pulled by the curious unknown, it was one of the few times I enjoyed moving faster than a tired turtle. And then, there it was – the sky painted with the spark of tangerine, boldness of pink, and the grace of purple—a freshly mowed field owned by my neighbor's farm and a pond I so often overlook. I pulled out my phone (Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra), snapped a pic, and touched it up with the basics in Samsung gallery. Then I continued on to actually see a turtle! We raced, but he mocked me as he won in the end.