Mostly the part that hurts the most is how to even say thank you to those who you grew up with and lived with for so long. My heart aches each time I must consider the idea of giving thanks to the ones I knew since birth. What about the ones I knew when I was in school, and the loved ones I met throughout high school. Giving thanks to many of those who you have known has become an aching task where my heart breaks. I cannot even think about the idea of giving thanks to anyone of my past.
My heart breaks at the sound of this echo, the trauma, the hurt, the unloved environment. To show love was to only lose love. To show how much you cared was to only have this taken away from you. Nobody wanted to go near me with my heart filled with love, the hurt and suffering of not receiving love in return has made me feel to much hurt over my years.
I find myself these days healing in a place where family is strong, family is connection, family is supportive, family is real, and family are filled with love.
Each day I look back and I give thanks that I left the old world behind. It was hell, it was vicious, it was psycho. Even today it is hard to even comprehend how I even lasted that long in such a crazy messed up environment. Everything that I thought was real was an illusion of my time. A time in which I wasted waiting for someone to come and rescue me. A time which I now do not even wish upon anyone, I do not even wish to look back upon.
This is a time where I am focused on healing my broken heart… This is a time where I am asking anyone who can hear me to bring me my heart. I find myself tuning into positive aspects, taking pictures of surrounding areas, sharing images of beautiful locations, and praying for love to return to me once again. I wish I could see him again. It has been too long, and I know I will see him, the question is when.
I suppose my thanks and gratitude goes to those of my here and now; those who I meet today, those who I meet tomorrow. I suppose my thankfulness would be shared among those who helped me to leave my past behind. My biggest thanks are those who welcome me into their lives. When you carry a broken heart, it takes time to mend. Not many people understand what it is like to have a broken heart, it is a feeling of ache, a feeling that cannot be cured with medication or eating healthy, it can only be cured by taking each day at a time.
To live in this beautiful new place that I now can call a safe home is a wonderful gift and blessing. When you have experienced the brokenness and the inequality of a family, the only thing that matters is that you take one day at a time. I find it difficult to even comprehend how I can even go back and do work. It breaks my heart even thinking or considering working. Maybe because the passion that I once had for my work was taken away. Although today I will learn to make a new life of passion, joy, and gratitude.
My gratitude goes towards my heart, my heart that is always on the mend. My thanks will go towards those who I meet who share words of wisdom for healing, my love I will circulate throughout my entire body, mind, and soul. My new project for creating a healing space within my life is where I am today. To share my thoughts on giving thanks to those who I am continuously surrounded by who are uplifting and share good happy spirits. I will never let myself fall into the destruction of hurt, pain and sorrow. I never allowed myself to fall, I will always continuously build myself up while mending my broken heart.
Please also allow me to thank those who I have followed on social media such as Ralph Smart. He has shared a lot of healing videos and messages which help many people all over the world. I pray for more abundance and gifted souls like him. He has helped me and many more to come.
Being safe is what is important for all. Being safe in our homes, in our environment and where we choose to work and live. I give thanks for being alive and feeling well despite the healing which I must mend within.
With love and gratitude from a place where healing is my number one. 💙🙏🏼🧿