Happiness Doesn’t Make Us Grateful; Gratitude Makes Us Happy

A few years ago, my life was a mess. I drank a lot, slept a lot, and was constantly on the move. I did not look at myself emotionally and physically. I lit a candle on both sides and ended up exhausted.

I used to feel depressed. After my parents' divorce when I was 18, I lost the closeness I had with my family. Everything I focused on was gone.

I had a constant feeling of depression, I turned to alcohol, I became disillusioned with the people around me, and I felt very depressed. I thought I would grow up and my parents would be a part of my life, but instead I felt like everyone was going their own way.

My dreams of having my parents attend my future wedding have not faded. Celebration events in my life will never involve both my parents. I was frustrated. It was drawing and costing my soul.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I also had a lot of regrets and anger from childhood. When I was seven, a stranger began to harass me during field service with my ballet band.

The embarrassment and confusion I felt in this followed me like a dark cloud. I regretted being too afraid to tell anyone. I think that somehow I was offended by the fact that no one could help me.

When my parents divorced, I felt abandoned and rekindled. It was as if I was slowly inserting. I thought about the past and talked about the past while completely losing it right now.

After years of letting this happen inside me, it finally came to a point where I broke down. The pain that I felt for myself and my family was devastating. Something had to change.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011. The world as I knew it just crashed to the ground. When you are told you have a life-threatening illness it is interesting how quickly everything else falls apart. Time stands still and the past disappears. All you have now.

Focusing now I no longer had time to irritate any indifference at all. I needed all my strength to fight for my life. All that I had for so long seemed insignificant in the battle I was about to face.

Cancer treatment can be a way to ease your personality, at least initially. It takes you down to your core self. I felt like a child most of the time. I relied entirely on my doctors.

It was as if I were wandering in the dark, holding out my hand to get me out. I was in danger and had no control over the outcome.

I think sometimes in life we ​​go through self-deception that controls us. To some extent we are, but if you are dealing with an illness you can quickly get down on your knees.

We have a tendency to take life for granted. We just think that we will get up every day and be healthy. I was so comfortable with the rest of my life that I forgot how much we really were a gift. It took almost the loss of that gift for me to finally open my eyes.

Towards the end of treatment I felt reborn. All the negative feelings I had about my parents' divorce were gone. I was finally able to stop. My spirit felt calm. I became optimistic about life again. My spirituality was rising in places I had never seen before.

With illness I found myself. I found out who I really was and what I really was. I was full of forgiveness and went to my parents and was ready to apologize for all my crazy behavior.

During cancer treatment I was able to repair and build a relationship with my parents. Now I have the happiness that I once dreamed of. I can see now how much time I have spent unhappy and I will never do it again.

I wake up every morning thankful to have another day, get another chance at this wonderful experience called life.

I make it a priority to eat well and get some exercise. I rarely drink. I have a fixed sleep plan. I work long hours to take care of myself emotionally, every day. My body was really holding me back during treatment and now I’m paying for it further!

Cancer recovery has not always been easy. I can't pretend there are no bumps. My new outlook on life does not allow me to engage in it; instead, I count all my blessings and keep moving forward.

I feel like I turned the worst information in my life into something better by taking the lessons I learned when I was sick and making the necessary changes in my life. Thank you for giving me a second chance.

Also, the life I was imagining? I've heard this. I don’t have to hold so much to something that doesn’t work.

By giving up what was not working, I naturally created a new perspective. This is one of the most liberating things I've ever done for myself. My new idea is available, my new idea is already happening. I'm fine now.

Instead of focusing on the inactivity in your life, give it some kind of love and attention. Take a mental note every morning for all the things you can be thankful for.

Soon you will see the negative thinking that will change and you will be able to feel the joy that awaits you