Growing up the odd one in the room

We have all been there at one point in our lives. The black sheep in the crowd. It never really feels good to be tagged so differently by our peers. I should know as all my life I have been unconventional and felt like I did not belong. So many eyes were staring at my every move, and still today, some people are dazzled at my life choices while others are waiting to see a flaw they can snatch and use against me. I grew up and became stronger. I understood that it was not such a bad thing to be distinctive, to have my own voice, morals and standards. Everyone is allowed to live their lives as they please and have their personal goals. I choose to live a simple and fulfilling one. I was comfortable with the fact that I was unique and learned to rub off what people said about me. That all change when they involved my kids.

A few years ago, after some major events occurred in our lives, we decided we needed a fresh start, an adventure and a change of scenery. We sold our little house and all our furniture. We kept what was important to us and what we cherished the most. We bought a 33 feet fifth wheel, and the five of us moved in. We travelled the whole country from coast to coast. We made sure to visit as many places as possible and made a point to enjoy the adventures. Our family loved it so much that we stayed in our rig for almost two full years. What hit me was how some people reacted. Our way of life was not really in the social norm. I mean the full spectrum of buying a house, getting a "socially good" job, climb the corporate ladder, save for retirement and then if you still have some energy left, go enjoy the world. We often heard people say having three kids means we need a house with four bedrooms and a basement. The thing is, we were already in the tiny house movement and did not have a big house to start.

My kids were randomly asked, on several occasions, if we needed help financially and how they felt about being cramped together. They were asked about their social life and emotionally how they felt, thinking we were forcing them. They were trying to find the reasons why we choose that life. To their surprise, my kids told them how much fun they were having, how many new pen pals they had made and how this simple life was full of memories. Those people were astounded. How can preteens love this life? How can they not want more material things? How can they not fight all the time? Many were looking for a house for us when we were not ready to settle. Some talked behind our backs, and I even overheard someone calling us homeless. I did not feel homeless nor poor. We were actually in pretty good shape financially, and we even managed to save some money.

The fact that living in a moving house is labelled by some as being homeless is wrong. Home is where you make it, where love is, and it might be very different for each one of us. Some love the cottage feel, others like the beach house, while others prefer a condo with all the amenities included. Then we have the farmers in the middle of nowhere and all the different cultures around the world. Amongst all of them, there are families like us, who enjoy the adventures. We took the time to explore and live life to the fullest. We love being outdoors, so a moving house is perfect for us. I know this is not fitting for everyone, but it was for us. We have never pressured anyone to do what we did, and we will never tell someone they need to downsize because their house is too big.

Why do people do this to us? That was my children's question when they saw what was happening, and that is when my heart broke. They told us our house is too small, that we could not keep living this way, that I was hurting my babies on so many levels. Why would they tell me this when we do not live the same life, have the same priorities, nor even like the same things. I do not like to be judge, especially by people who do not even know us and our ways. I never impose my opinions or ways of doing things. I know firsthand how it feels. We are different, which means we will do things differently. My children are mine, we have a good relationship, and I know them. They grew up to be different too, and they love it. Being different is not a bad thing.

When I was at my darkest point, I was reminded that people who like to judge you are often jealous. They might not be jealous of your living situation or of what you own, but they are mostly jealous of the way you are. Your inner strength, your willpower, your ability to do what you love, and the fact that you do not mind the stares because you live the life you enjoy. Since then, when I hear something weird, I keep telling myself that they are on a journey to find themselves. Their words do not hurt as much. I am comfortable with my life, and I made sure my lines were not blurry. I know what I want, what I like and how I feel about different things, but most of all, I know my limits. I will not push anyone, and that includes pushing myself to be within the social norms. I learned to say no and to move on. I am surrounding myself with people who understand and who do not feel the need to change me. I am letting go of those who push too much their way of doing.

People who truly love you will love YOU. They will never try to change you even when you are the odd one out because that is you. You are unique. Be happy with who you are and who you are becoming. Usually, the odd ones are the ones shaking things around. I am the odd one bringing a trash bag on my hikes to keep the earth clean. I am the odd one who has kids that remind me to bring that trash bag to pick up things on our way. I am the odd one living an almost zero waste life. I am the odd one getting up early to workout and keep myself healthy. I am the odd one who tried so many different things in life many do not even believe I have that many credentials. I am the odd one who did everything to work around my children. I am the odd one homeschooling. I am the odd one who has kids that loves camping off-grid. I am the odd one who does not want video games in the house. I am the odd one who loves cooking on the fire. I am the odd one who loves alternative medicine. I could go on and on, but I am sure you get the picture. You can probably relate to some of it. By the way, I am the odd one who gave birth to my fourth child in that fifth wheel. Forget what you have learned and what you have been told about social norms or happiness. Be different and be happy. It is a breath of fresh air!