Gratitude Adjustment

Stubbed toe. Broken glass. Late to yoga class.

A slew of unfortunate events started Sophia’s day.

She sat at her desk in the hopes that productivity would help. Upon opening her inbox, her stomach immediately dropped.

The subject line read, “Newton and Kofax: Job Status.”

Sophia opened the email and hastily scanned its contents. She read the final sentence aloud:

“It would not be wise to request a recommendation from our publication.”

Her indignation boiled over as she read it.

Sophia abruptly headed for the front door, snatching her little black notebook and pen from the entryway table, causing the pile of mail to topple to the ground. She pulled the door behind her, a flurry of fury entangled her throat, tightening as the door slammed, unsettling the atmosphere outside.

As the lanky, near sighted journalist bent over to put on her high-top sneakers, the notebook slipped out of her hand and landed upright. On the front cover, two white words written in Sharpie offered a moment of pause. Gratitude Adjustment.

Sophia bent down to retrieve the book with tears of overwhelming frustration filling her brown eyes. She sat on the porch stoop and succumbed to the flood of emotions coursing through her body.

“Energy in motion…emotion,” she whispered to herself, head resting in her lap, arms wrapping herself into a tight ball. She wept in self-pity, allowing the wave to roll through her system.

A few minutes passed as she let the tears soak her hand-painted jean skirt. She lifted her chin, relaxed her body, and observed her surroundings. Those little drops of salty sadness evaporated in the summer scorch as quickly as they had saturated the denim.

Sophia opened Gratitude Adjustment to the first page and read the intention she had written to herself for using the notebook.

She who finds gracious acceptance of the present moment has the fullest capacity of trust and surrender. Life will beat you down, but you are your own champion. Use this notebook to explore deeper into your inner turmoil and find your anchor. Your breath offers a fresh perspective and rejuvenated self-awareness. Let go of that which does not serve you, find a deep appreciation for the lesson learned, and rebalance with the knowledge that your resilient nature has always, and will always, take you on a splendid adventure.

With a sigh that alleviated a day’s worth of anxiety, Sophia grounded her feet, lifted her chest toward the sky, and headed in the direction of the park around the block. A subtle smile appeared on her face for the first time that day as she left behind all stress associated with her discharge.

Sophia’s feet instinctively carried her toward her favorite park bench, each step a meditative trance of equanimity. Her gaze focused on the minute and the grandiose, no detail missed.

Veering toward the side of the corner market to document her thoughts, Sophia opened to a fresh page about halfway into her notebook and clicked the pen. She pressed the black cover against the building wall and wrote:

The moment we surrender the timeline, we invite clarity in the seeds we plant. Intention founded on our inner knowing allows for our attention to align gracefully. In my heart I feel a revelation of deep trust that my path is guided toward an unquestionably divine destination.

Her notebook started to slip down the wall, so she leaned her back on the cold bricks as she crouched inches from the sidewalk, using her knees as a desk. Sophia continued writing, absorbed by her thoughts and unaware of the glances of those who passed her on foot.

Throughout my life, doubt has evoked reflection of purpose. Who am I? What does it all mean? Existential nonsense, for the infinite beckons in gracious living. The search for higher source brings forth an investigation of parallels, an endless tale of the mind’s wanderings.

Sophia quickly transitioned from deep focus to a chuckle. She played observer for a moment, reflecting on how gracefully she moved from a place of chaos to a chosen peace.

“It’s all a choice, isn’t it?,” she inquired under her breath to herself as she continued walking.

Methodical steps matched mantras that played through her mind.

I’m so grateful to have the capacity to walk.

Sophia lifted her gaze toward the sun and soaked in its radiating warmth.

What a blessing it is to experience the five senses.

I feel such gratitude for my parents’ love and support.

A sleeping baby in a stroller caught her attention. Sophia imagined herself as a child and experienced a rush of pride for the person she had become.

I am love.

I am worthy.

My breath is my anchor, my anchor is my breath.

A cab with an ad on its door passed her. It sported two smiling figures and read, “Newton and Kofax, your most trusted publication for the Fine Arts.”

Sophia’s brow furrowed instantaneously looking at the faces of her two former employers, whom she considered to be money-hungry bigots after having worked intimately alongside them. A flashback of a few days prior gnawed at her. She was sitting in the conference room receiving a lecture of supreme ignorance. Her two employers were livid with her recent in-house investigation, dubbing her a “traitor to the fine arts.”

Cemented to the sidewalk, Sophia replayed those events for less than a minute, then caught herself. She shook her head and blinked her eyes wide. The crosswalk sign turned green, so she made her way swiftly to the bench, the only free space to sit. How fortunate, she thought.

She plopped down and closed her eyes while resting her hands on her lap.

Under her breath, Sophia whispered, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” On the inhale, deep gratitude and love filled her lungs with warm air. She allowed her exhales to take with them all animosity.

As her eyelids gently opened, the scene of the midday community gathering grounded Sophia. Two figures sat on another bench, the man reading aloud to the woman, their child probably running about with new friends. On the ground, someone wrote in chalk, “Love is the cure. Spread it like a virus.” A bike rang its bell off in the distance, chiming in with the children’s laughter.

“May I sit here?”

Sophia looked to her left to see an elderly lady addressing her. Her hair was pulled back in a clip, a fruitless attempt to tame the unkempt nature of her bird’s nest. She wore every color imaginable, each article of clothing layered with varying patterns. Though the sun formed a layer of sweat on Sophia’s forehead, the lady seemed quite content with cloth covering her entire body. Short, neon pink heels with a ladybug adhered to the clasp accentuated the eccentric.

“It would be my honor,” replied Sophia, intrigued by this character.

Slowly, the woman sat down placing her peacock-patterned handbag in between them.

“I’m Sequoia. What’s your name, grasshopper?”

“Hello, I’m Sophia.” She flashed a cheeky grin, very pleased with the company. With a keen eye for a unique story, Sophia was immediately enthralled and eager to chat.

“What’s that you have there?,” pointed Sequoia with her bony finger. Each nail painted bright red was decorated with a unique flower design.

Sophia presented her black notebook, showcasing the front cover, happy to share.

“Gratitude Adjustment. It’s the thirteenth in my collection,” giggled Sophia. “It’s a practice I started in college. Whenever I get overwhelmed, I turn to this book.”

“Fascinating…”

She stared off into the distance as her eyes seemed to glaze over. Sophia noticed the immediate shift and leaned in a bit, waiting to see if the woman would continue.

Sequoia pulled a handkerchief from the inside pocket of her quilted jacket and dabbed her eyes, catching the teardrops before they traced lines through her makeup.

“Are you okay, Sequoia?”

“My dearest, I’m wintering in the wrong season and feeling quite overwhelmed with sadness. Two weeks ago, the love of my life passed, leaving me with memories to play on repeat without the one person I’d most like to share them with.”

“Oh, Sequoia,” Sophia said with sadness in her voice. She slid to her left, a bit hesitantly, and gently reached for the stranger’s hand.

Sequoia happily opened her palm to join hands and locked eyes with Sophia. “You’re too sweet, darling. We’ve only just met, but we are connected like the stars that form a beautiful constellation.”

For a while, the two shared an intimate moment.

“Her name was Emilee. She had the most remarkable voice. Before bed every night, I would sit in the foyer of our home as her hands danced on the black and white keys, her voice strong even in her sickness. She could enchant anyone, but most especially me.”

“What was she like?,” inquired Sophia, positively captivated by this most special romance.

She beamed a smile unlike any Sophia had ever seen. “She was the life of my party.”

For over two hours the women talked about Emilee, her lover passionately relating their story.

As if in a snow globe, the two sat on the park bench unaware of their surroundings. Sequoia reached the part where Emilee’s life faded away. She began to wind down to the end of their story, just in time for an interruption.

A man approached, his eyes directed at Sophia. It was her coworker, Charlie.

“Excuse me, Sequoia, I must speak with this man briefly. I’ll be right back.”

“Little grasshopper, may I write a note in your book?”

Sophia nodded, pleased that the words of her new friend would grace her pages.

Sophia and Charlie spoke very intentionally for a few minutes. He had heard about her dismissal and was saddened by the news. Charlie then pulled a scrap piece of paper from his satchel and wrote down a name and number.

“You should contact my friend. She’s been investigating Newton and Kofax as well. It may be of interest to you.” He nodded and continued on his way.

Sophia thanked him and returned to Sequoia, who placed Gratitude Adjustment on the bench, stood gracefully, and threw her handbag over her shoulder.

“My dearest, you cannot imagine the joy it brought me to recount my story with Emilee. I am so grateful for this friendship. I wrote my details in your notebook. Come by for tea soon.”

Sophia and Sequoia embraced, parting ways with a few last words.

As she sat alone reflecting, Sophia noticed a paper that seemed to bookmark her notebook. She opened to the page and saw a short note and a check.

It read,

Grasshopper, today you reminded me to live presently. It did me much good to relive those moments with Emilee, but I know she would want me to move forward and continue living. I feel a weight lifted from my heart and more youthful than I have in quite some time. Thank you for your company. You made me feel remarkably special.

Emilee left me with a large sum of money and I’d like to share some with you. I hope to see you soon. I glanced at your most recent entry….you have the inquisitive mind of a brilliant writer.

With all my love,

Sequoia

A gentle grin suddenly turned to a look of disbelief as Sophia turned her attention to the check. It amounted to $20,000.

She jumped to her feet, shook her head from side to side, hair flinging in her face, and danced in the middle of the park, barely attempting to contain her excitement.

Hands shaking, Sophia broke down in tears, the second time that day. Streams of gratitude flowed from her innermost place of knowing.

“Thank you,” she whispered, head bowed. “Thank you.”