Goddesses

You may not believe this but my twenty-something hairdresser is one of the most influential and inspiring women I’ve met in recent times. In fact, there’s a pair of them! Sisters. Hairdressers. Both in their twenties. Both gorgeous-beyond-belief beach babes with the whole wide world at their gloriously tanned feet.

I hear a lot of youngster bashing in my travels. You know the kinds of stereotypical dialogue I mean. It generally starts with the words spoiled, thoughtless, vapid young men and women with no respect. Selfie obsessed, cosmetically inclined, always on their phones. No idea of how hard life once was. Wasting all their time and money. That type of drone.

WRONG!! And yes…yes, it’s little bit right also. This opinion may be quite unpopular amongst my sagging old, menopausal peers but I’m just not sure it’s the terrible, shamelessness that older generations like to make the millennial lifestyle out to be. Here’s how my love affair with the Goddesses first erupted.

Picture this. I’m staring at my pudgy little middle-aged face, mere inches away from the giant, wood framed mirror in front of me. I’m trying hard not to notice the rapidly multiplying crow’s feet and grey disco highlights making their encore, six week appearance. Goddess One saunters over and tells me she might need to change our next appointment time. “Oh why’s that” I vacantly enquire through my tired, rut induced haze. I was thinking it may be to accommodate her next trip to Bali or some such rot. Typical.

“Oh didn’t I tell you?” she enthuses. “I’m moving to the Sunny Coast”. Now….we live in a very small town on the east coast of Queensland and the Sunshine Coast is roughly an eight hour drive away so I’m intrigued. I’m thinking we may need to do more than rearrange our next appointment as the drive might be a bit much and I sure as sh*t wouldn’t make it in my lunch hour.

Oh do tell how this is going to work, you languid little beach bunny, I think whilst simply giving her an interested look. She goes on, “Well, you know that E (Goddess Two) and I are now making our toggies? (Queensland speak for swimwear). No, I did not! Tell me more, Aphrodite minx.

As it turns out Goddess One and Two are now designing their own swim wear line IN THEIR SPARE TIME no less. I’ve googled the brand and it is all types of gorgeousness. Though I venture to add, it is made more for rake-sized woman rather than my super-sized voluptuousness. None the less, each piece is exquisite and so well made. The ad campaigns and on-line presence is startlingly beautiful and well produced, showcasing the natural beauty of our own little hamlet. I was amazed and slightly nauseated by the energy behind such professional entrepreneurship leaving my mid-life (end life??) achievements in the dust.

It’s the next part of the Goddesses story which left the most enduring and indelible mark on both my heart and psyche. When I asked further about the move to the Sunshine Coast Goddess One went on to tell me that the sisters had always loved living in their little coastal town but longed to experience life on the busy, metro coast line. They saw themselves surfing waves and selling their togs. Playing and clubbing and having the best of both worlds. I asked again if she was leaving the hair salon to which she gave an emphatic ‘no way’ and smiled openly.

It still didn’t make sense to my insular one-track mind. What in the blue blazes, time and space bending was occurring here? Who was having the brain gaff? Me or her? Something didn’t add up but I was keen to get to the bottom of the tale.

She then explained that Goddess Two had brought a unit on the Sunshine Coast while Goddess One had a house in our little town. They had then negotiated to work a seven day on, seven day off roster moving between hairdressing in our local hamlet and then jetting off to the Sunshine Coast to play in the surf and sell their wares. What the actual fudge!?!? That can’t be healthy or legal?? Oh but the sweet, unique joy of it!

It’s more than healthy. It’s inspired. It’s inspiring. What was most illuminating for me was the way in which these young women actively scoped out their best life, painting their own dream canvas. There was no question of ‘the norm’ or limitations. It was purely a path to their own personal nirvana and they have achieved that with bells on! And why the hell not? It doesn’t affect anyone else. They have both made sure their current clients are catered for and have down time scheduled in to play in the waves and grow their side hustle. How amazingly liberated and empowered can you get.

I don’t think I had that much aplomb and chutzpah at their age and I certainly had not achieved half as much. However, when I’ve raised this idea with my peers and mid-life lady crew there have been mixed reviews and a hell of a lot of cat’s bum, pursed lips I can tell you. When I’ve queried the responses there seems to be a generalized discomfort but no real pain points of note, quite unlike the hips, the back, their booty’s and foot cracks! (Please tell me you all sang that to the delightful tune of Khia’s ‘My Neck, My Back’). It’s more along the lines of…”Hmmm, how’s that going to work”? “Why don’t they just move”? And the evergreen “how are they going to settle down travelling so much’?

Ah, there it is. It appears the 1950’s are still rampant in the new roaring 20’s. So I’ve decided to look at the matter objectively, through the lens of a now well-known excerpt from a 1950’s high school home economics textbook. A way to unravel the perplexing mind of the millennial women for all of the Xer’s and boomers out there.

1. Have dinner ready.

Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.

Well looking at them you’d wonder if our Goddess’s actually eat but I’ve seen them enjoying all manner of deliciousness whilst running around like little chookettes! Rather than cooking grub for their men folks these wonderful women are busy investigating what they enjoy, and what their bodies need to fuel their energetic and sometimes frenetic lives. They indulge in tastes both clean and a little cheeky with a childlike enthusiasm and blissed out joy. No mention of the nutritional hang ups that seemed to literally and figuratively weigh down women of my generation. These Queens eat for fuel, for love, for pleasure and for connection but never as a chore.

And never for the indulgence of another. It’s all very Parisienne and ease filled loveliness. There’s probably more likelihood of their male accessories dropping off dinner whilst these bubbles of business are raking in the dough quite frankly. It’s hard being the Mister behind the tycoon Ms but I’m loving their style.

2. Prepare yourself.

Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you are refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting.

It is evident that these genetically blessed beauties cherish their bodies and appearance. The tans, the nails, the flawless, flowing locks one expects of today’s mane artists. The gorgeous bohemian outfitting all creates a stylized package for sure.

The added measure enhancing the appeal though is the effortless comfort these belles exude. Nothing is restrictive or pain inducing. No heels, bells, whistles or sharp edges creating dis-ease. It’s all very flowy and gentle. I get the distinct impression that creating their look definitely comes from a place of self-love rather than finding/trapping love. It’s an internal devotion that is more than alluring.

And how could you not be interesting when you are so committed to the evolution of self in a way that manifests as this full, vibrant, joy seeking package.

There is balance as well. It’s clear there is room for more than just slugging it out hawking their brand. There is the most loving refrains of enjoyment and play. Rest and recreation is vital, not to please other, but to live in pure joy and adventure.

3. Do not greet your husband with problems or complaints.

Don’t complain when he is late for dinner. Count this as minor when compared to what he had to go through today.

Having heard the tail end of these little spitfires negotiating with the worst kind of patronizing mansplainer tasked with the custom fit out of their traveling surf shop Kombi Van I very much doubt there is any problem they couldn’t deal with solo.

I also have a sense that whilst the Goddesses exude a cruisy, laid back vibe they have such a well honed sense of self worth that too many strikes or missed dinners would result in a short and too the point exchange to rival any of their partners work day dilemmas.

4. Make him comfortable.

Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down for a few minutes in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.

Here’s the thing I’ve noticed about this younger generation that greatly contrasts to my own. With all of the existential searching and positivity seeking that has invaded our multi media platforms there is a resulting gentleness in young men and women today. A heart centered quality directed towards all and sundry. At least from my perspective.

There is so much rhetoric about bullying and trolling and yes, this is absolutely an incredibly important issue. However, in my experience the majority of young people, the Goddesses included, are kind and inclusive to everyone, with more focus on the improvement of self rather than jealousy and comparison. They care, greatly. About people and difference. About our environment. About political issues and disharmony. And they want to be informed, educating themselves in order to learn and grow.

Quite unlike my crazy arse friends at that age who seemed more interested in who was doing what to whom on the beach last night rather than protecting said dunes from human impact!

5. Make the evening his.

He is special! Never complain that he does not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment.

Noooo, the Goddesses are special damn it! And as such they shall be fed and entertained in a pleasant manner at all times! In all honesty, I’m fairly certain these jewels are pretty comfortable entertaining themselves so feel free to go about your business while they crank the tunes and pour a couple of margaritas.

Look...in no way do I believe that all twenty somethings are pure bliss bombs of delight while us oldies are a bunch of bitter old crones. At least not all of us. Well...at least not all of the time. I think we have much to learn from each other and considering the number of trips around the sun I’ve had I’m sure to have picked up a trick or two simply through the osmosis of living for this long if nothing else.

What I loved about their story was the way in which obstacles were dissolved. Dismantled almost in order to create the life our Goddesses most wanted to live. I see a lot of the barriers expressed by women in my generation, including myself, as arbitrary at best. They are societies views, or more correctly our perception of judgements. Impacting to create invisible, yet impermeable limitations. A colleague recently expressed her long held desire to act in the theatre. Previously I would have lamented with her about opportunities lost but my response now is well, what’s stopping you?

Such a seemingly small, passing conversation with my hairdresser has had such a profound effect on me that I reflect on this new way of thinking in every moment of every day. I want more than ever to make each second count. I had always wanted to sing so what’s stopped me? Absolutely nothing. I now sing daily, with a coach weekly and had my first public performance in my late forties. I’ve held an art show. I’m writing a novel. I’ve been on more adventures than I can count. I pull my fat, frumpy self along to yoga because I had always secretly envied these long, lean women. And hot dang, now I’m one of them. Not so lean but still I’ve got the active wear going on!

The lesson for me is one of choice. I choose my life. I choose who I am and what I’ll become. I am blessed in many ways to still have this freedom. I am fit and able and have the best of both worlds. Insight grown only from experience and the capacity to shape my own destiny. What I don’t need so much of is the fear these experiences have instilled at my very core over time.

My oath, I choose my choice! And I want to be a Goddess when I finally grow up!

To view Layla Swimwear go to https://laylaswimwear.com/ (this article is not sponsored nor is the Author affiliated to the product or business in any way. I just love to see young women succeed.)