life is a highway “ain’t that the truth” me personally have been down that highway at times very long and difficult road of healing after a narcissist shattered,turned all my shit upside down.I know exactly what it takes to make it to the other side it’s an on going journey no quick fixes here.We are the light keepers it’s time to get up get pretty and own your shit and leave the darkness behind for good.
I never said this was easy in fact it’s f$&@#%* tough. In fact, I wouldn’t even call it a road.This has been a rollercoaster in a washing machine set on spin.Narssasistic abuse can be psychological warfare,a grand mind-f$@#% that leaves the mind, heart, and soul A mangled and unrecognisable mess to be sorted that takes so much to bounce back from.
However I did say no quick fixes but ways to fast-track your healing journey and avoid the bullshit and roadblocks that can throw you off the path, delaying your eventual emotional freedom from your pain.
I know. My journey has been anything but fast,It was and Still is painful lonely and dragged out but that’s another story for down the track.Im putting this out in the world to help others and shed light that your not alone and yes get pretty because you are going to get through this.
I’ll ride shotgun and hold the map here are some tools.Remember stay true to yourself.
Delete,Block -read that again....
Social media can be a great tool but then a terrible one as well you need to cut all ties when healing “this is hard I know but do it” don’t go looking for anything you need to remind yourself of this.Its not just blocking the ex ,you need to block or to stop checking in on but also anyone — his mates ,enablers, fence-sitters — who could potentially ruin your day by reminding you of your pain. Yes I know it’s tempting to see what (or who) your ex is doing,trust me don’t do it because u know he already had others befor he even left you it’s what narcissists do so don’t hurt yourself by looking.
Narcissists will do a couple of things on social media: They will either post their new and fabulous life (they’re really not, they’re just trying to make their internal shame for being such f$%#*?@$ pig feel better)or they’ll go ubove and beyond to try and get you back,while promising they’ll change (believe me they won’t change) I know as humans we want to believe that they will because love and all the feelings we have for these people but trust me it’s not worth all The heartache❤️ consider changing phone numbers and if they are harassing you talk to police (FYI: narcissists don’t change, they only get worse true fact). There is a simple way to avoid this nightmare: unfriend, unfollow, block, delete.
Important self care Tips:Healing no quick fix but will help speed up your process.
1.The big one “social media”outlined above
2.Educating yourself is power start owning it back understand Narcissists.Dont continue to read over this stuff as it will do your brain in just read enough to understand some of it don’t try to get in their head as you do not want to be in it.
3.Dont block out the past,seek professional help it’s important to process everything to move forward.
4.have people in your life that value you not negative all the time as you have been through enough of this try flipping things seeing things from a more pair I’ve point of view.
5.Do not start another relationship.use this time to heal fully.I know it’s lonely but don’t give in to seeking someone out for any of that you are your own best friend,sit with these feeling (yes I know it sux’s but try it) this won’t last forever learn to understand yourself and learn to know what you value in a relationship and what you will and won’t except.
6.Forgive yourself yes I know it’s a journey but remember it was not you it was them.We make mistakes that’s how we learn.I know you may even miss that person and that’s ok but remember you don’t need to have that person in your life you deserve better.
Remember
You have the power and your in control of your life YOLO get up and get pretty and be the best unique individual that you are.
About the Creator
Mel Bennett
Multi skilled counselling practitioner. Life coach and fantastic at keeping it real. Do you want to take a journey.
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Let’s get this clear it’s not you it’s them. I’m going to talk about this as I have heard a lot from comments from people who blame themselves for this stuff. There are many different things that happen in relationships but when you are dealing first hand with a Nark this will change the game and you need to relies is that you are not dealing with a normal person Narcissists cheat and lie they are masters in manipulation and betrayal it’s what they do. Let’s look a bit deeper here take out the F$#*&in crap and get down to it a Narcissist is selfish they crave attention, validation to be admired that’s why they cheat because they need to always feel wanted, they’re very self-focused right, they only care about themselves, they don’t necessarily even care about their children except to be used as pawns in a cover of some fake life that their leading and to also look as though they care its bullshit. Yep true story peeps, they’re demanding to what they want to do, it’s their time, it’s their schedule. When you get involved with a Narcissist of course you’re got no idea they are a Narcissist because when you meet them the mask is on. But when you get involved with someone that it just seems too good to be true it probably is way too good to be true. You thought that they love you and that’s the real crap part as we put our soul into this stuff. So how could he cheat you? This was the one, this is your soulmate, and this is the man/women of your dreams, Blah, Blah, and Yeah we get it. How could you think that the person you have given your all to could be like this, he’s with me all the time, he’s never with someone else. Well, that isn’t always true. And depending on how skilled your Narcissist is in this cheating and lying game, they may have spent decades hiding what they’ve done. And generally not just with one other person this is generally a pattern of what they do. They can tell you they love you and you think things are great or you may be working on things and a Narcissist will be starting a whole new relationship with another at the same time and with modern technology this has been made even easier with snapchat, Facebook and all the other social media platforms out there. It’s not about you it’s about them they cannot be honest with themselves let alone anyone else and trust me peeps the sooner you step off this rollercoaster turn off the spin cycles and step the f&*$ off the better life will be.
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