From Hectic Holidays to Mindful Moments

For many of us, the holiday season doesn’t evoke a sense of peace. It’s not all Silent Night, Holy Night. Sometimes, it just causes anxiety.

There’s the financial burden of the holidays and so many things to do with so little time to do them. There’s the pressure of events in addition to the regular responsibilities we juggle. There are family gifts and teacher gifts and office parties and more, more, more to see and do.

It’s no wonder that suicide rates skyrocket over the holidays. The pressure can be enormous. What’s worse is that we’re made to feel like so much of the holiday season is obligatory rather than optional.

How do we begin to transform our hectic holidays into mindful moments that we actually enjoy?

Is this even possible?

I’d like to think that it is. Even though I’m a self-appointed Queen of Lists, I typically make the list to see all of my options, and then I re-evaluate to determine my priorities.

What experiences will mean the most to me and my family? Which ones could we skip and not really miss? Are there ones that I added out of a sense of obligation?

Like Santa, I’m making a list and checking it twice.

Once I determine the things I want to include during the holiday season, I also give myself permission not to do everything on that list either. If you’re puzzling that out, let me try again.

Just because I make a list of activities doesn’t mean we have to do them all. It’s more of a wish list. Sickness happens. Life happens.

Even if we can’t get to everything that we want to do, it doesn’t lessen the joy of the season- unless we let it.

I try to manage my disappointment when things don’t work out the way I planned.

Disappointment is difficult, but we can choose to focus on the things that we do get to enjoy as the season progresses and learn to let go of the ones that just don’t work out this time around.

I keep my focus on what’s easy and affordable.

With two small children, I just can’t do complicated, time-consuming, expensive activities. Instead, I make homemade ornaments out of cinnamon, applesauce, and glue. I roll out pre-made cookie dough and either trace handprints or use cookie cutters for holiday shapes. Then, we decorate them.

One day, we might have cookies and hot chocolate. Another day, we might cozy up and watch holiday movies together. We can listen to and sing along with holiday music or drive around and look at pretty lights. None of it has to be complicated.

While I have to keep a budget in mind, as most of us do, I try to do what I can to infuse the holiday season with mindful moments that focus more on quality time than spectacle. I try to make every experience meaningful, bringing the focus back to small moments rather than running down the list of activities just to squeezes them all in.

When we shift the focus to creating memories rather than collecting gifts or checking off activities, we learn to actually be present and enjoy the season.

I focus on what means the most to me and to my little family, not on what means the most to everyone else.

Sometimes, this means declining invitations or suggesting more affordable ways to address holiday gift exchanges like switching to a cookie exchange or some type of holiday activity rather than an orgy of greed. It could mean volunteering as a group to support a charity.

But it could also mean staying home when others would like us to visit simply because what we want most is to be in our own space during the holidays. Far from being selfish, this prioritizes our happiness and helps give us a sense of peace during the holiday season by reminding ourselves that, as adults, we get to choose what we do.

The holidays don’t have to be stress-inducing or overwhelming.

They can be magical, and it doesn’t just apply to Christmas. Take New Year’s Eve or even Valentine’s Day. As each holiday rolls around, we can look for ways to do a few things that we enjoy.

We can give ourselves permission not to do everything or be everywhere at the same time. We can relax into each season and spend real quality time with the ones that we love. We can create memories and focus on being present, rather than getting or even giving presents. We can transform those hectic holidays into mindful memories we’ll treasure.

After all, we can’t please everyone. We’re not holiday cookies.