Freeing Ourselves From The Web Of Social Networks, Or What Is The Joy Of Non-participation?

It also happens the other way around: we want to stay at home, but we go anyway because we are afraid to miss the most interesting.

Fear of being left out.

There is a type of this fear that people are usually ashamed to talk about — the fear of being left out. When you were not “invited”, it’s a shame: you just want to get under the covers and ask yourself: “Why weren’t they invited me?” Man is a herd animal and does not like to stay away from common affairs.

Social media exacerbates this fear.

We see all the events to which we were not invited, and we are offended if our other acquaintances were invited to them. This is why researchers have concluded that watching social media makes us unhappy. Scientists have also found that our brains perceive the frustration of being rejected in the same way as physical pain, comparable in intensity to the pain of a fracture. Rejection and social rejection cause depression, anger, sadness, anxiety, and envy.

If this is such a common problem, why are we so ashamed to talk about our fear, why do we prefer to keep it quiet? Let’s stop hiding our feelings and talk about them. In addition, this fear can be turned to your advantage.

Nine ways to overcome the fear of being left out:

1. Ask yourself why you are experiencing it.

We tend to ignore painful feelings. We try to pretend nothing is happening. But the longer you ignore them, the stronger they become, and you end up even more frustrated. But if you try to sort out your emotions, you will probably understand: “Wait a minute, I so rarely communicate with this person, why should he invite me?”

It is natural for a person to imagine the worst: “Nobody needs me!” But it is much easier and more useful for self-esteem to perceive reality objectively.

2. Talk about your fear and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.

Send a message to a friend: “Have you forgotten about me?” Feel free to express your fear and share your feelings without blaming anyone.

3. Remember: it’s not always about you.

Sometimes people just want to connect with other people (not you), and that’s perfectly fine. Go about your business. There are so many interesting things in the world — new adventures will not wait for you!

4. You are where you need to be.

Yes, it sounds a little pompous. But when you realize that you’re wonderful in and of itself, and you realize that everything is happening for a reason, you’ll find it’s really great to be here and now — where you should be.

5. How is your self-esteem?

When we don’t believe in ourselves or value ourselves, we need others to feel better. It is in these situations that the fear of being aloof is strongest. Think about what you have and take a break from regrets!

6. Take care of yourself.

There are many ways to get your natural dose of happiness hormones. Play sports, take a hot bath, call someone, meet up with other friends. This is YOUR time — it is in your power to have a great time.

7. Let go of expectations.

If you have expectations, you will inevitably resent and fear being left out.

Expectations are delayed resentment.

8. Arrange your event or dinner.

Event hosts, by definition, cannot stand aside. Become an organizer yourself and invite even those who did not invite you last time. Expand the boundaries of your world.

9. Learn the lesson.

Maybe before you didn’t understand how much this friendship means to you, and the feeling that you were left on the sidelines is a hint that you need to get closer. And if this person is not so important to you, you should not feel any fear and resentment!

The joy of nonparticipation.

Let this experience teach you how to make more meaningful contacts with people and be the first to reach out to them. Having overcome the fear of being left out, you will feel the joy of non-participation — that is, you will feel happy and content here and now, without the need to be invited somewhere.

The best way to overcome the fear of being left out is to make others feel like they are always welcome, ready to be accepted and included in the community. Invest fully in any communication. Don’t just come to meetings, but be active. Don’t forget food and fun gifts!