Forgiving Ourselves

There are times in life when we make a decision that directly alters the course of our life. At least for a portion of it, if not all of it.. This may not happen to everyone, but it does happen for some.

There you are, at a moment in your life, when you decide... it could be to get in a vehicle, which proceeds to an accident that shouldn't have happened.

Leaving permanent scars or other damage that can't be undone, or if you're lucky, it only sets you back time in a hospital. Far away from family, friends... having to learn to walk again, as you've been in a coma for days. This can give you time to think, about your choices, your decisions, What's important, What's not so important. How do you want to feel when you go to bed ? What will you think when you look in the mirror tomorrow, or tonight?

Does it really matter if you got a little dirty ? As long as something was learned, I think not. It might take a little time to wash of the dirt. Those who only see the mud, well, they may never love like you do. They may not see the goodness in others who are struggling. Perhaps it is feared by some. Some may wish to help in theory, but fear being swallowed up in the quagmire.

It could be you see someone, often times, you see good in them. They are so personable, so likeable.. helping others more than helping themselves, putting other's needs before their own. But you also see them possibly going off in what could be a detrimental direction. You want to steer them a little different, and unbeknownst to you, the interaction is going to change your direction too.. and it may not be good.. at least not for some time. Until.. you decide to forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself, for not being able to help someone... Maybe you DID help them, maybe you saved them a number of times, unbeknownst to you. All we can do is carry on and hope for the best, may they one day see what you were trying to do. May they one day see, you meant the best..

May you KNOW, you did the best you could, with the knowledge you had at the time.. Somewhat referencing Maya Angelo there. Her words are profound.

What matters is you tried, you put yourself out there, maybe you even fell and got a little mud on you. Maybe it hindered YOUR life for a while. The mud showed you cared, you loved, someone mattered enough to you that you put yourself out there. Mud, bruises, scrapes and all - someone else's life mattered to you. For that alone, you could feel honorable. Humbled perhaps, but honorable.

As we move ahead, one step at a time, carefully, some trepidation, may our steps become more sure. May you walk in faith of your own kindness. You loved, you tried. Your intentions were pure. for that, my friend, we can hold our head up, and carry on. Wiser, softer and still with some hope in our hearts.

At the end of the day, what matters is you tried. No matter the circumstances, you gave it your best today. Maybe tomorrow you can do better, maybe tomorrow you may need to be still and regroup. Whatever way you feel that day, it's okay.

My hope is, you forgive yourself. Know you did what you could to help someone who, perhaps didn't want help, wasn't ready for it, or didn't know how to accept it.

If this story resonates with you, I Thank You in advance for any tips, no matter how small, and please share with anyone who may need to hear or read this right now.