Finding Your Inner Peace

Finding your inner peace is difficult in our crazy world... but not impossible.

I love the quote, "Don't let people draw you into their storm; bring them into your peace." It signifies a chaos that surrounds us and slowly engulfs our good intentions. The more we fight it, the more we suffer. But if we submit to it and let our world spin out of control, naturally we stop caring because then we can stop hurting. It happens to the best of us.

It's easy to think of the many examples of people we know or news broadcasts of people around the world. The extreme cases of chaos: starvation, drugs, power, fighting, prosecution, abuse, neglect, rebellions, riots, violations of personal or political rights, mass destruction, etc. But what about in our own corner of the world: road rage, discrimination, profiling, verbal or emotional punishment, bullying, workplace abuse, the isolation or ignoring others within families, schools or work environments, gossiping, lying, stealing, cheating, etc. These may not seem as detrimental compared to the extreme cases of chaos, but aren't they just as damaging?

Our society has become immune to the impact of negativity in our daily lives. Whether it is the constant newsfeed, publications, social media posts, or even the memes/jokes that try to draw humor to our situations, the numbness is a passive acceptance and submission. Caring is futile—the anger, hurt, desperation, and justification would be waste, and others don't care either. Better to let other people take care of it. But not so...

Finding peace is to look for peace. The phrase 'The War on Drugs" is just as powerful as "The War on Peace." The common denominator is war—fighting something to gain. But you can't have peace through war because at the end of every war is destruction and hurt. The fighting may have ceased to choose a truce not to fight anymore, but was there truly peace?

This all seems more discouraging than helpful, but within the mess is an answer. "Do what is within your control."

As one person, it is hard to make a change in the world, your community, workplace or family. Sometimes it's hard to make a change within yourself because of all the external influences. But start small. Just as negativity can be contagious, positivity can be contagious too! Start with just one thing and focus on being peaceful with your own forgiveness. Move onto being peaceful towards others by forgiving them. Continue peace through moments of conflicts at work, on the road, with your kids or colleagues, your family and friends, and your own impatience or limitations.

Find peace through breathing. When you find yourself taking that deep breath in to yell or react to a triggered moment, inhale and hold your breath. Begin counting. This will distract your thoughts long enough to level your thinking before your exhale. At that time, reassess. Is it truly worth it, or can you say it in a way that can be more productive? Do you need to say anything at all, or can you just let it go? Ask yourself: "Is it true? Is it positive? Is it necessary?" If not, don't say it. Don't repeat it. Don't express it. If it is trapped inside and you need to release it, write it down and tear it up. Get it out and get the negativity away from you! But whatever you do, don't share it with others if it's not true, positive or necessary. The first few times it may be tough. Old habits die hard. Eventually it will become easier and more freeing. You will have shown a sense of control to a situation that could have created chaos, but instead you chose peace.

Let go of your own fears, assumptions, worries, concerns, and disappointments. Let go of expectations, criticisms and discouragements. Ignore others that project negativity and have issues. Their issues are not yours! That's true freedom. Letting it all go and not allowing others to hurt you.

Peace doesn't come with a price. It is free, achievable, and enjoyable. Once you feel peace, share it. Others may feel your energy shift and see the change in you. Some may be refreshed and feel secure around you, others may be jealous and want to draw you into their chaos (misery loves company). They may think that you're acting better than them and want to knock you down with meanness, criticism, personal attacks to you or those you love-—just breathe. It is hard not to lash back. It is hard not to defend yourself or others. It is hard not to fight. But do it the right way, not the mean way. Know your own worth and your rights. Become knowledgeable in what you can do to rectify the situation. Sometimes their desperation can lead them to get themselves into trouble without you having to do anything about it.

Peace has a power about it that is unmistakable. You have that power within. You can begin the practice today and break this crazy cycle in your life. Release the stressors, trust the process, believe in yourself and just breathe.

~Coach Jessica Nixon

Finding Your Inner Compass