Feeling comfortable in your own skin

so to start off this little story I’m Laura, 23 years old and I come from Denmark. I’m here in the states as an Au Pair/Live-in-nanny.

All my life I have been a little overweight and I’m not that tall so it’s noticeable. Most of my school time I have been bullied for my size and, even though I had friends, it would still be used as an argument for something if we got into a fight. The older I got the more I fought back. I would most of the time just brush it off like “whatever” but inside I would be sad that people just saw me as a body type and not a human. I love my country but Denmark can be very judgy about body size. About the time I reached the dating age I was lacking self esteem and felt bad about it. Going on dating apps and matching with guys was easy and most of the time I felt a connection over the phone but, when the time came for meeting someone face to face I would start to get nervous. I would say with good reason at the time bc all my life I have been called fat and no one would ever be with me. I have been a secret bc the guy didn’t want his friends to know that he was with me. So I would meet a guy and I think to myself “okay this is going well he’s super sweet and the conversation is flowing” but when the date is over and the next day hit he’s dead silent and I would never hear from him again. I tend to believe that it’s bc of my size bc I know that I can get along with anyone on the friend front. I started to give up on dating and didn’t feel like it anymore. I quit!

I started not to care what other people thought of me and said that “if they don’t like so be it”. I wanna find love like everybody else, to find that person who’s gonna love me for me. It’s not like nobody wanted to be with me, I’m not gonna okay a victim or anything. It’s just that the people who wanted me I saw as friends and didn’t have any romantic feelings for them. I would always give it a shot just to see if there was something from my side. I don’t just shoot people down I give them a chance.

In 2019 I decide to go USA and be an Au Pair. Best decision I’ve ever made! I had been here for a month when I decided that I would try some of the dating apps here, I figured it couldn’t hurt to try. So I match with people and we start a conversation and everything is good. I get from one guy this comment that I got offended by “you’re thic girl” and in my head I’m like “did you just call me fat?!” I got mad and told the guy just to find out that he meant it as a compliment. I got wide eyes 👀 and didn’t know what to say. From that point it kept happening other guys would say thic to me and it took me awhile to accept it as a compliment. The cultural difference with that word is big to a danish person that’s mean to an American person that’s great.

After that I started to embrace it and say “hell yeah im thic and beautiful!”. My self esteem started to come back slowly and now I know that it doesn’t matter what I look like or what shape I am it matters who I am. I have never been catcalled on the street before and now it has happened a few times. I get shocked and look behind to see if there is someone else they could be talking about but there isn’t, it’s me it’s finally me!

I’m beautiful, I’m unique and I’m fierce! So are you and don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not.

Embrace the bad comments. Embrace the good comments!