Empty your cup

I took a job working from home for insurance (which sucked btw) I knew we'd be moving in march but had the opportunity to go earlier and I snatched it. It was painful to leave my sister but she was okay. The moving process is only one word, stressful. But once it was over I began transitioning into circulating a new space and energy. Everything I asked for was given to me, so there should be no complaining.

I had promised myself to keep protecting my peace. In my mind, it means not to allow negative energy into my home. Maybe I am traumatized or maybe I learned my lesson, who knows. In my old place, we had friends around constantly, random parties and lively celebrations. I felt alive at the time, laughter bounced off the red solo cups. Me and my friends had the thirst to travel and go on trips together, so we did (of course pre pandemic). Soon, exhaustion filled my lungs and body leaving me tense. After cleaning up party debris too many times, I just wanted quiet peace to be the only sound.

My soul had drifted away somewhere, hiding from me and taking fresh air with it. I never went searching for her though until I reached the unfulfilling end. Who have I become? The little things, coffee in the morning and walks around the trees were a distant memory now. I felt as if my mind was clouded where the sun refused to bring light to me. What have I done to scare the sun away? I reached my short arms out with the green veins present along soft brown skin. My bones made popping sounds, further my arms went meeting five fingers and open palms. I can see my light in front of me moving closer as my eyes find themselves a small river, overflowing. The sun came back for me! I deserve this again because I fought for it, didn't I? Then, I realized that the sun revealed herself to everyone all over the globe. Why do we need you most right now? Because my love, in the days coming I will be the only one to wake you up each glorious day.

I can only say this over a year later because I have the ability to reflect. This is so important for your growth, inside where you water the soil. You must push forward especially after what felt like the best times you’ll ever have. It’s not, you have more blessings, laughs, and even stronger connections as you move in age. But you have to be self-aware. I looked back, felt what I needed, formed thoughts and feelings about seasons. Then, I appreciated what it was and simply moved on. You cannot grow inside a defined shape, restricted. You’ll run out of space and everything will collide into reruns of the same images. Without moving forward, you begin to feel stuck. Something is missing and nothing is satisfying any longer. You need to empty your cup! Rid of those moments of before! It is robbing you of the last energy you have left, the last pinch of motivation.

As a Libra, I constantly search for a balance and I finally found it. “Life is for the living” I heard somewhere once. It stuck with me so well that I only remember the words and not who said them. Because that is what matters, those words present, residing in my mind. The truth is that nothing is fair, explained, expected or known. We can’t stop how something may turn out but we can choose to empty our cups. We can choose to water our soil, tend to our souls and take care of the time that doesn’t exist. Reflect, feel, cry if you want to, rejoice if you need to. And guess what? I believe in you. Whatever silent battle crosses your heart, you’re never alone.

If you read this, thank you. I hope you can heal and grow into someone even more beautiful. Love.