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Don't Hesitate. Fumigate!

- David Stidston

By David StidstonPublished 3 years ago 9 min read
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“Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.” - Mandy Hale

We know that toxicity is poison, however toxicity isn't just limited to some form of dangerous chemical, or the like. Many humans themselves are actually toxic, as they can be very unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way, causing destruction and harm to the lives of others, including you and I. Now let's not be led to believe that we are talking about the murderers, rapists, pedophiles, thieves, and other criminals, here. We are actually talking about our workmates, our friends, our partner, our parents, and other loved ones. In fact, everywhere we go, we are constantly surrounded by these toxic people, and for most of us, we are either simply unaware of the harm these people are causing us, or we are aware of this harm, but are just too afraid to do anything about it. Even worse, we may actually be one of these toxic individuals ourselves. So what exactly constitutes someone to be toxic? Well, the greatest, although technically speaking, the worst, quality of a toxic person, is they breed negativity. These are the type of people whom rarely hold a conversation that doesn't include some form of whinging or complaining. They love to play the victim in life, constantly talking about how they believe nothing ever goes their way in life, how they are far from privileged, and how things always go wrong for them. They complain about everything from their job, to their partner. Nothing in life is ever satisfying enough for them, and they love to prey on others who can either relate, or show compassion, to share their tale of woe with. Most conversations with them are basically of this negative nature, and they very rarely have anything productive, inspiring, uplifting, and encouraging to share. So, what happens? The more we listen to these negative individuals, the more we are exposed to this negativity, and it's only natural that our mindset will follow suit to whichever environment it is exposed to. We too begin to feel negative about life, we begin to feel victimized, and we begin to heap our negativity upon others also.

When we think about those type of individuals who love to whinge and complain all the time, one person that often comes to mind, is our partner. In living with someone for a lengthy period of time, it's easy to become frustrated by some of their bad or annoying habits. Rather than focus on being blessed with having them in our life, and being grateful for all their good qualities, all they do for us, and all the maintenance they do around they house, we choose to focus on some negatives about them. The whinging and complaining about one another leads into disagreements and arguments, and doesn't create a good environment for positivity, nor a healthy relationship. Not only are we often guilty of whinging and complaining about one another, but many partners can also be extremely unsupportive and discouraging. We should all seek to strive for our personal goals, and it's quite often that partners may have different goals in mind. Rather than supporting our partner, encouraging them, inspiring them, helping motivate them, and uplifting them, we can become a detrimental factor to their success, especially when we don't agree with some of their decisions and actions in pursuing their goal, or when it inconveniences us. We continually talk negative about their direction and pursuit, and perhaps encourage them to quit it. That's exactly what a toxic person would do! If we flip that scenario around, and we wanted to achieve a goal, we would expect our partner to help us, keep us in a positive frame of mind, and encourage us to strive for our goal. Positive minded and inspirational individuals always seek to support, encourage, help, and motivate, others to achieve their own goals also, whilst toxic people only think of themselves, and don't like witnessing others succeed.

In talking of whinging and complaining, we can't go past another common group of individuals we associate with, on pretty much a daily basis, and that is our workmates. Now our workmates don't necessarily whinge and complain about how much their life sucks, and how hard done by they are in life, but the one thing they non-stop whinge and complain about is work, of course. Whether its a rant about how much they hate customers, or how much they hate the company they work for, or how much they hate their boss and about the way he/she manages the team, or how their annual leave request just got rejected, or most commonly, how much they hate the job they do, their distaste and negative attitude towards the working environment in general, is enough to demotivate anybody. The more we listen to them, the more then we start to also believe and agree with what they are saying. Our focus shifts from the work at hand, and from applying ourselves to our best potential, to all the negatives that our workmate just pointed out to us. We lose our passion and enthusiasm for the job, we become demotivated, and we start to perform at a mediocre standard. I was one of these type of individuals at my previous job, and it was because I totally despised it. Whilst there were managers and other team members pumping up the team to achieve results, there I would be, sitting in silence, with my mind desperately wishing I could be anywhere else but sitting in that meeting room. The best outlet to release the frustration and anger at being stuck in a job I hated, was to rant to my workmates about it. The funny thing is, it was always easy to find others who reciprocated, because they too, hated the job. This would be a common theme across most workplaces, considering that 9 out of every 10 people hate their job. This negativity is toxic to the workplace environment, as it drags others down, and demotivates the team, which leads to poor results and job losses.

Along with our workmates, our friends are a classic examples of another version of toxicity and negativity, which comes in the form of gossip. When people don't have anything positive, regarding themselves, to talk about, then the conversation will regularly turn to talking about someone else, but not often in a good light. If someone is perhaps envious of a certain workmate, or they just don't associate well with them, then they will quite often seek to take down that individual, via means of trash talking to others about them. They will start up rumors, or criticize and defame them, just so they can paint themselves in a better light, and ultimately make them feel better about themselves. They are extremely judgmental, and delight in seeking out any information about others, so they can then use in their next conversation. Many of our friends can be just as bad. They spend excessive time on social media, stalking profiles, reading various posts, and finding any information they can, in order to use as the ideal conversation starter, which is perfect for them to avoid having to discuss the lack of success and happiness in their own life. Why is it so appealing to have the need to talk about others, or try and defame them? Is our life so dull, boring, unhappy, and unsuccessful, that we cannot find anything uplifting, inspirational, encouraging, and positive, to say? Gossip is toxic, and achieves nothing positive whatsoever!

Let's not forget about those who seem to delight in constantly putting us down. Perhaps some of the things they say may be intended as a comical dig or lighthearted joke, but it's common to have friends or associates who will use us as the perfect stool pigeon to humiliate us, or degrade us, in order to make themselves look superior. We will have many people who will show no belief in our ability, potential, and judgement, criticizing any ideas we have, or having us believe that if we were to proceed with any decisions and actions we plan to execute, that we would only end up failing. They like to believe they know best, and that we are naïve. These people are also toxic, as they never have anything encouraging to say to us, nor ever support us, despite what they may say. The negativity is all around us, and no matter how hard we try, we are always going to find ourselves confronting negative people on a daily basis. We can't change others, but we can change ourselves. We don't need to be a contributor to this negativity, and we certainly don't want to be that toxic person in someone else's life. Let's firstly look at ourselves, and reflect on the type of things we say to others, and if we are someone who is actually supportive, encouraging, positive minded, inspirational, and uplifting, towards others. We need to be constantly working on our mindset, strengthening it to better resist the negativity around us, and remain positive and goals driven. We need to start working on our conversations and behavior with others, to make sure we are not contributing to the negativity. As far as the toxic people around us, we need to have the strength and courage to part ways with such people, as they are detrimental to our success. We need to be operating in positive environments, so we can remain goals focused, and be making wiser decisions. The more we associate with these negative and toxic individuals, the more likely we will become easily influenced to think negatively. Toxic people will indeed pollute everything and everyone around them, there's proof of that everywhere we look, so we need to remove them from our life, without delay, no matter how hard that may be. Don't hesitate. Fumigate! Be it a friend, a partner, workmates, or whoever it may be, disengage from conversing with them, and distance yourself from them, because it seriously is for your own good!

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self help
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About the Creator

David Stidston

My name is David Stidston, and I live in the beautiful city of Hobart, in Tasmania, Australia. My aim is to inspire and motivate as many people as possible, to pursue their goals, and create a future blessed with happiness and fulfillment.

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