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Don't Be Fooled

by David Stidston about a year ago in happiness
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- David Stidston

"Those who say they care about you will only ever provide you with meaningless words, but those who genuinely do care about you will prove it so, through their actions, by being there for you when you need help the most." - David Stidston

There will be several times in our life, when we will enter periods of trial and adversity, so crushing and debilitating, that it will take us to the greatest of depths of emotional pain, hurt, and misery. We will feel like the world is caving in on us, that circumstances are continually going against us, and anything we do seems to just continually result in failure. No one is exempt, including the positive minded, the successful, and the wealthy, as unfortunately, life will always deliver both the good times, and bad, to all of us. What matters, is how we deal with it. There can be a multitude of triggers for entering into such dark periods of our life, such as a relationship/marital split, a chronic health issue, the prospect of bankruptcy, a failing business, the death of a loved one/loved ones, losing one's job, work stress and pressure, or maybe even something as simple as the continual failing in the pursuit of our goals. Whatever the circumstances, it's common for other areas of our life to come crashing down at the same time, hence why we are taken to the greatest of depths. So it's a given, we all face adversity, hardships, trials, and tribulations. None of us like these times, they are soul destroying and mentally scarring. On a positive note however, many people have drawn on their resilience, their courage, their strength, and their will power, to not only overcome these dour circumstances, but have used them as inspiration to catapult them to success in life. Sometimes, it takes us to endure great suffering, adversity, pain, rejection, depression, and failure, in order for us to make a positive change in our life, to discover ourselves, or to perhaps discover our purpose. One thing is for sure, each time we find our way through such difficult times, we gain so much strength and development in the process.

It's times like these that we believe that we can rely on our partner, our friends, and our family, to help, support, and provide us with some assistance. We feel that we can trust these people in our life to help us navigate our way through the tough times. Don't be fooled into thinking for one minute this will actually be the case though. The unfortunate thing is, most people will actually turn a blind eye to your cries for help. The harsh reality in life is that most people only care for themselves. Be it your partner, your friends, your family, your relatives, whoever it may be, they will always be quick to tell you they care for you, however their actions prove otherwise. There's an absolute truth in the fact that we should always be accountable for our own actions and decisions, whilst being responsible for creating our own future. In all fairness, it's not anyone else's responsibility to help us find our way. It's not anyone else's responsibility to help us achieve our dreams and goals. There's one piece of advice that I have been given several times over these past few years, and that is that we are personally responsible in finding solutions to our own problems. This advice is completely true, it's imperative that we are creative and proactive in working on finding a solution for our problems, as it is through actions that we learn, grow, and mature. We can't just simply sit around and hope that circumstances improve by themselves, we actually need to be proactive, we need to be resourceful, we need to be exploring a variety of different avenues, anything that can contribute to a solution to conquering our problems. Having said that though, there are times where all of us, at one time or another, simply just need help.

Sometimes that act of resourcing, and finding a solution, can only be found through the generosity of others, it's as simple as that. All other options may be exhausted, and without that particular someone who can step in, and lend their help and support, who knows what damage such circumstances can lead to, for someone personally and mentally. Many people haven chosen to end their life, all because not one person truly cared enough to step in to provide that help and support, when it was needed the most. The sad part is, that many of those who were perhaps asked to help, chose not to, relying on the belief that this certain individual who needed the help, would ultimately find their own solution, or a different outlet. We are too casual when it comes to people asking for our help and support, either not fully understanding the urgency, or for just not wanting to get involved. Whilst we don't have a responsibility in helping people solve their own problems, we do have an obligation to always help our fellow man or woman, to show kindness, compassion, understanding, and generosity. Success in life isn't just limited to what we personally achieve, it's also about the contribution we make to benefit others, and where we help others in need. There will be times where we need to understand that others will seek our help and support, and we should always be prepared to step in and help in the same way we would expect others to help us. On the flip side, there will be times where we desperately need help and support ourselves, and we simply just cannot do it alone either. Be it financial support, moral support, physical support, mental support, whatever it maybe, that help and support is crucial on both sides of the ledger. Again though, don't be fooled into thinking that others will be there to help.

Anyone who has ever been in business, who has confronted the issue of cash flow, which would be most business owners at some point in time, would well know the challenges and difficulty involved in resourcing. Quite often, it's not just once or twice, it may be a few times prior to the business starting to gain momentum, that an entrepreneur would be required to resource cash, just to keep their business alive. When not making a profit, the outlet of applying for a business loan, becomes null and void. That leaves the entrepreneur in a situation where they must rely on a grant, the sale of some of their personal assets, or the generosity of friends or family to help them financially, at least until their business starts profiting. Many are left with no other choice but to return to a corporate job, placing their business dream on the shelf for several years, just so they can start generating some cash once again, but with ongoing expenses, bills to pay, rent/mortgage to pay, and groceries to buy, anyone who is on a corporate job wage would well know how difficult it is just to make a living off the wage they are paid. It quite often becomes the end of the road for an entrepreneur altogether. No whilst that sort of situation may not sound urgent enough for people to step in and lend a hand, put yourself in the position of that entrepreneur. They have a goal and a dream to turn their business into a success, contribute to the small business community, help drive the economy, and work their passion, yet because their friends, family, and other close associates, turn their back on helping this individual out, this person then returns to a life of unhappiness. Would you want others to treat you the same way? We should always be supporting, helping, and encouraging others to create success, not be denying them that opportunity. Just as we yearn to achieve our own goals, we should also be yearning to help others achieve theirs also.

As far as being in the position of needing that help and support, one thing I have learnt on this journey, is you soon find out who truly cares for you. On many an occasion, I have had to call on the help and support of friends and family, and on many an occasion, I have been denied. I personally hate relying on others to help me out, and I always feel a sense of embarrassment in having to ask, but I have also learned to put my pride aside and ask for help when needed. There's times we just have to step out of our comfort zone, and do things we don't want to do, and that includes asking for help. I only ever ask for help when I am in absolute desperate need, and have no other avenues, as I'm sure many others who seek help, do exactly the same. Now, let's talk about financial support here, because it's in regards to money that truly exposes those who genuinely care, and those who only say they care. There will be those people who simply cannot help out in any way, and literally do not have any avenues themselves to cash, but then there are those who do have other avenues to cash, who still decline offering to help. They will never tell you they have options to obtain cash, because they don't want you to know that, otherwise it leaves them opening to questioning as to why they wont help. Perhaps these options involve having to use credit, or borrow from someone they know, or accessing their rainy day savings account, but whatever source it may be, they can obtain the cash if they truly wanted to. Most people choose not to. They see it as too much of a risk, they fear not getting their money back, and they worry about how long it will take to be paid back, so they turn down they plea of someone they supposedly love and care for. Basically, they value their money more than that of the person asking for help. Harsh, but true!

There are times, when someone asks for financial help, that we simply have to say no, because we are genuinely not in the position to assist, but when we have other avenues in which we can draw on, to help, we seriously need to put our greed and selfishness aside, and understand that we have the ability to truly help someone, and make a positive difference in their life. Life has the habit of rewarding and blessing those with a generous heart, so whilst we believe we may be taking a risk, or it's not in our own best interest, acts of generosity, compassion, kindness, and understanding, may just be the key to actually creating a better future for ourselves. It's often said, and is often proven, what goes around, comes back around! If you turn your back on helping others, when you can actually help, then others will turn their back on you, when you're the one needing the help. If you are on the journey towards achieving your goals, or trying to grow a business, or even just with life in general, and you have the expectation and belief that people will be there to offer you help and support in times where you desperately need it, think again! The majority of people only invest in their own welfare and interests, as sad as that may be, and that unfortunately includes our friends, family, and other loved ones. The only person you can ever truly trust in, is yourself, but extend that trust into trusting in your abilities and your potential, because you are well and truly capable of achieving the success you desire. Don't be fooled into thinking that others truly care about you, because it's a given, their actions will prove otherwise. Do the right thing by yourself as a person, help others in need at every opportunity, and set an example to others, but never place your faith in others to help you, because you will only ever be disappointed and hurt.

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About the author

David Stidston

My name is David Stidston, and I live in the beautiful city of Hobart, in Tasmania, Australia. My aim is to inspire and motivate as many people as possible, to pursue their goals, and create a future blessed with happiness and fulfillment.

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