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you are responsible for your happiness

By Pamela DirrPublished about a year ago 4 min read
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

It’s so easy to get set in your ways. It’s so easy to feel comfortable and content with your life. You have a job (or multiple jobs). You’re making ends meet (even if barely). You have family. You have friends (even if only a few). You’re in familiar surroundings. That’s all great. But have you asked yourself the most important 2 questions? 1 – Have you been putting yourself first? 2 – Are you happy (truly happy)? If you answered “no” to question number 2, then I doubt you had answered “yes” to question number 1. If you’re not truly happy, and if you haven’t been putting yourself first, then read on.

When we put others and other’s happiness before ourselves, then we’ll never be able to make ourselves happy. And if we’re not happy, then we’ll damper other people’s happiness. How often do you do something you don’t want to do because you’re concerned of what others will think of you? Or you’re worried that you’ll lose a friend (or two). I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to lose friends. If you feel that you must do something to keep a friendship; is that friendship worth it? Is that friend really a true friend? Or is that person more of an acquaintance? When I hear of good fortunes that happen to my friends, I’m proud of them and I’m happy for them. Even if it’s something that maybe I didn’t agree with. But the reality is that my opinion shouldn’t matter unless it’s a life-or-death situation. Other than that, I would never try to discourage my family or friends from going for a goal that they really want. It’s not my life, it’s their life. I should have no say about it.

And it should be the same the other way around too. You might not always agree with something that your friend (or family member) does. But is it something that your friend (or family member) really wants to do? Is it something that is affecting your friend (or family member) in a negative way? Is it something that is making your friend (or family member) happy? If your answers are yes – no – yes, then don’t give your negative opinions to your friend (or family member). It’s not your life to live. It’s your friend’s (family member’s) life to live. Be happy for him/her instead of discouraging.

Sometimes in life we must step out of our comfort zone. If you feel stagnant in your career or where you live; maybe, it’s time to make a few changes. Do you truly love where you live? If you’re afraid to take the leap and move to where you feel you belong – start slow. Look for jobs in your field in the area you want to live. Go on a few interviews. Learn your way around the new area. Spend a few days there. Meet a few people. Compare the cost of living between the new place and the current place. What does your new salary have to be so you can continue to live how you’ve been used to living? Start looking at apartments or houses (but obviously don’t sign anything until you're ready to move). Learn what areas are good and what areas are not so good. I’m single, so I can’t really speak for married people. And I don’t have any children, so I can’t even speak on that. However, I know that both parents would have to agree to the move. And I would hope that they would check out the local school system to make sure that the children get a good education (not every school system is good, believe it or not). So, I know for married couples the decision would be a more difficult one. For single people – yes, it’s still a difficult decision to move out of an area that you either grew up in or have been living in for several years. I get that. What really keeping you there though? Are you afraid of change? Are you afraid of the unknown? You don’t know what to expect in the new place. You don’t know what to expect in the new job. You’ll be somewhere where you don’t know a lot of people (or maybe even don’t know anyone at all). But that’s all ok. You’ve been single and independent in your comfort zone up until this point. You can be just as successful in a new place and a new job. If you feel that it will make you happier and not feel stagnant, then wouldn’t that be considered a good decision? I believe so.

Change is scary. But sometimes we have to just take that leap and hope for the best. If people aren’t happy with you because of it, well, it’s not their life it’s your life. If you lose friends because of it; they weren’t your true fiends to begin with. The only person who can truly make you happy is you. Everything else is just added bonuses.

Do what makes you happy.

(DISCLAIMER: nothing in this post should be taken as actual advice. This entire post is just strictly my opinion. This post is all based on personal experiences and things that I have seen)


About the Creator

Pamela Dirr

I like to write based on my personal experiences. It helps me clear my mind. We all go through things in life. Good things. Not so good things. My experiences might also help other people with things that they might be going through.

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