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Dear Baby Remy

If you could, what would you tell your younger self? Would you have anything to say at all? I would, and here it is.

By Remy DhamiPublished 4 years ago 5 min read
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First of all, I’d like to say that I’m sorry. I’m so so so sorry.

I know how you’re feeling. You might not think I do, because I’m big. I don’t go through what you do anymore. But I did, once. And I know how you’re feeling.

I know you’re trying to be happy. The girls say mean things about your hair, the boys keep trying to scare you on the playground. Sometimes you cry. Sometimes you feel hopeless and just trail around by yourself. But hang in there. It won’t stay like that forever. It can’t, can it, little one? Mummy and Daddy love you, always remember that. Sometimes they say things that make you sad, but always remember it. They just want you to be happy and safe. Don’t hold things in either. If they keep upsetting you at school, then tell Mummy and Daddy. They’re there to help you. Remember that, and remember it always. It’s important later on.

You say you don’t have any friends, that no one likes you. Let me tell you, I’m a lot like that too. People have said really mean things, people have been a bit rubbish to me too. But it’s a part of life – there’s good people there too. People that like you, that care about you, that will stick with you. There are many little promises of friendship gleaming at you. Find these people, and treat them well. You will need them soon.

Don’t be scared of your teachers. They’re bigger than you, yes, and some of them are scary. But they’re not doing it on purpose. They’re just like Mummy and Daddy, but with a different job. They’re here to help you learn. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like that. Sometimes you feel like they’re there to tell you things you don’t understand and shout at you for doing something wrong. Sometimes you feel like they hate you. But they don’t. It will also feel a bit like that later on, but they’re human too. Sometimes they just don’t see how they’re coming across to you. You’ll be fine if you just trust them a little and have a little confidence.

You think you’re pretty right now. You think you’re pretty, and cute and smart. That’s good. You need to try and hold on to that because so many people will try and convince you otherwise. But never lose your self worth because of stupid people. They just want to make you sad because they wish they were as happy as you. Don’t let anyone do that to you. Say yes to people that make you happy, and no to people that don’t.

People will also make fun of you. They will call you weird, “special”, crazy, mad, odd, nuts, just because you like to be funny and have fun. Not everyone will like you, but you must know that people who don’t like you should just stay away from you. There’s no excuse for them to call you horrible things and ask horrible questions (which you will know more about in the future) and you shouldn’t stand for it. Be proud of who you are and hold your head up high. You are you, and you owe absolutely no explanation for that to anyone. There will also be people who like you for who you are – who think you’re funny and cute and amazing. These are the people you want to stick with and love like your own family. I know you can do that.

I can also tell you that soon, you will have a little sister. Her name will be Eloise and she will love you with all her heart, even when she’s acting like she doesn’t need you anymore. Let me be clear – she will always need you. No matter how much she thinks she won’t, no matter how much you fight and hurt each other’s feelings, she will always need you. Never feel unwanted by her or by anyone else in your family. They love you dearly, and all they want is to see you happy. You show them that gorgeous gappy smile of yours and be proud.

You will also come into a fake friend or two. People who just want to use you. After it happens once, you will know what the signs are. You make that mistake (because it is fine to make mistakes) and you learn from it. Don’t let yourself be used by horrible people that don’t know your worth. Know that you are better than that, and anything bad that happens to you hasn’t happened because you’ve done anything to deserve it. Bad times are just times that are bad, and you will have plenty of them, but don’t let the bad outweigh the good. You’re a happy little girl, and I’m sure all the people around you would hate to see your happy-go-lucky little self fade away. Don’t let anyone make you forget who you are. I happen to know that you’ll also have problems with feeling like Mummy and Daddy like your friend better than you. Don’t do that to yourself, don’t torture yourself with these thoughts. It’s not true that they like your friend more than they like you. They like and love you absolutely to pieces and would do anything for you.

There’s little more to be said if I’m honest, before we get to the real big one, but here’s a few things. Remember to keep putting glitter on your eyelids, keep being a princess in your own head, wear red lipstick, get yourself a twirly skirt, ride your bike and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t play with them. Have fun being a little girl and embrace it. Be happy, pet dogs without being scared of them, go shopping, go to the park. Just enjoy your little self.

Now, here’s the big one. In the coming years, some people will do things that make you feel like you aren’t a person. Some people will go one further and make you feel like you’re not a girl and don’t deserve to be treated like the other girls. Please don’t think that this is what you deserve. You are a human, and you are a girl. If others won’t treat you better, then treat yourself better. Don’t depend on anyone. Love like you were never hurt, laugh like it’s all you do, smile like you weren’t crying last night. Use positivity and optimism to strengthen yourself. Build an emotional stronghold that no one can tear down. Be bulletproof and be brave. Say what you mean. Tell people something’s not right and don’t settle until it is. Stand against injustice. Keep doing your best to make each other happy. Grab that epic feeling, and hold on to it forever. Don’t be disheartened by anything. Keep trying and never, ever give up. You are stronger than you know.

When they make you feel like any less than the princess you are, just remember this. You, darling, are fabulous. And you always will be.

I originally published this story to Medium on October 9th 2017.

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About the Creator

Remy Dhami

In order to change the future, we must first accept the past.

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