Creating Kindness

Kindness is not just a word or an adjective that looks good on a personality quiz. It is defined as “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate”, but more than that, it’s a mindset. It’s a way to see the world in a brighter view and a way to treat other people. It’s about showing people compassion and putting others in front of yourself sometimes. It’s about being mindful of others, treating them with respect, and trying to brighten someone else’s day.

Currently there is a movement in people’s mindsets that is geared towards the idea of getting back what you put into other people. You see it all over social media, people boasting about dropping friends because they weren’t getting as much as they were putting in. And, while, at its heart, that movement is to promote self love and teach people not to get taken advantage of, it is a slippery slope into people just becoming selfish. It’s so easy, with that mindset, to stop seeing the good in others and stop treating others warmly because you’re afraid of not receiving that warmth back.

So to create a “kinder” world, that's the first thing to change. Kindness isn't just doing "kind" things. It’s about being a kinder person on the inside, not just faking it on the outside. The best way to do that is to live simply by the idea of “expecting nothing”. While that may sound negative, it just means to do kind things for other people with no expectation of anything back. So many people in this day are stuck in the mentality of give and take or equal exchange; people treat people as business transactions or opportunities. And, while it’s nice to think that the kindness you do for others would be repaid back to you, true kindness is the understanding that you don’t need reimbursement for good deeds. True kindness is doing favors for other people simply because you want to make their life easier, and not because they’ll owe you a favor back. It’s helping those who are less fortunate than you, knowing full well that they can’t repay you and not asking them to. It’s going the extra mile to put a smile on someone’s face, just to allow them some happiness, regardless of how small or large. Simply put, kindness is seeing people as people, not investments.

As with every major change we’d like to make in the world, it truly starts with individuals. It starts with people one by one deciding to shift their mindset. I once heard a quote that said something along the lines of "Problems are rarely solved by one person with the solution. But enough people with just a portion of the solution, and you’ll start to see a difference." It truly is the little things in your everyday life. Pay for your friend’s meal and don’t ask them to pay you back. Stop questioning if the homeless person roaming the street corner is faking it and just give them a dollar. Tip your waitress or waiter generously because you know deep down how hard their job is, so even if they were a little forgetful or maybe a little moody, let it go. Simply start looking at people for who they are; not what they look like, what they do, what they can give you, etc. Look at them as someone like yourself with feelings, dreams, wants, and aspirations. Empathize with them, and realize that it isn’t about the payback, but about making someone else feel good. Learn to put out the love you would want to receive, without asking for it back.