One of my most favorite quotes—“Why Just Float through Life When You Can Make Waves,” was my mantra when I was in my twenties, and it was my first written design. My business, Creating Happy has been the culmination of years of experience with my love and purpose as an artist and creator of Happy things. I felt like I was just ahead of the wave with Creating Happy when I set off on my artistic journey again in 2009. I was ready to jump on my reliable board when the time was right, and ride that wave to the dreamy, purposeful life I had imagined for soooooo long.
I gave Creating Happy my all for three years, and I realized that, although I had a few lessons, my board was decades old, and I forgot my wax. I don’t even want to talk about my suit! I fell off my board, got tumbled in the surf, and I chose not to get back up on my board to try again, like I had for the last three years. I was tired and depleted.
I put my board in the garage and took a job in a completely different field to reset and check my purposeful ideas. Three years later, and Yep, I’m meant to create art, and write, and make! When I realized that, I decided to get smart about Creating Happy with laser-focus and true-Deb intention. I’ve attended a conference, read articles, taken some classes, asked myself the tough questions, and I found my board in the garage. I began working steadily to get all of my happy ducks in a row; create some new designs, reformat some of the oldies but goodies, write a few blogs, and create a meaningful, engaging, and happy launch. Truth be told, I have been seriously procrastinating on the finishing touches for relaunching Creating Happy, just staring at my board, wondering if I really have what it takes. I want to be consistent, and in front of people in a smart, lasting way, and I am terrified that I will fall off again!
I have what I call my Texas family, and I love them completely. They are a positive force and inspiration who have embraced happiness, and are successfully embarking on a beautiful, Happy Crusade. I desperately, want to catch this wave that they are creating and riding. Desperate Happiness seems a little counter-productive.
The image that came to mind this morning; my family is in the surf, frolicking in the foamy waves of the ocean, playing and laughing, and so enjoying the moment. And I, I am standing on the shore, acting like I am fulfilled in the moment of my limited choices. I don’t join them because I’m afraid. Afraid of losing control in the current, afraid of the possibility of a looming shark attack… What? That literally happened on Virginia Beach in the summer of 2015. When did I become so afraid?
So, figuratively it works out like this; My family is playing in the ocean and effortlessly paddling out to position themselves to catch the next beautiful, happy wave—their timing is perfect! They are riding the waves, going with the flow, and handling their boards with such elegance and skill, going just where they want to go. And I am standing on the shore. Cool suit on, board under my arm, leash on my ankle, wanting to run in the water, whoosh through the waves, and paddle out to gracefully jump on my board to join them. But. I. Don’t. I so want to join the fray of laughter, and living in these happy moments and ride these waves. But. I. Am. Afraid. The longer I stay on the beach, the more paralyzed I become. I am afraid I have lost my edge; did I ever have an edge? I’m not really that talented or Happy for that matter. I begin to spiral out of control until I realize that that, is all my ego-speak again! It tries to grab hold and mean something, until I realize that what I want to do with Creating Happy is good and right, and it’s time.
I dust myself off, or rather dry myself off, and begin again… how many times can someone begin again? You should see my new board. I feel more sturdy, and I must say my suit is stylish, yet practical! I wish I had a great wavy quote, but what comes to mind is Thomas Edison—some people may say he failed 1000 times before he successfully invented the light bulb, or marvel at his tenacity to try 999 times with something he believed in. I’ll do what I can to keep my wavy light on, and I. Am. Ready. (Gulp!)