Clarity

Understanding is a big growth in life. The years pass by and some may learn from past mistakes and some may not but, me I feel that learning your faults and understanding the distraction of your life is all important. I begin learning these things from the woman that birth me my mother. Though me and my mom past relationship has been a rough road to stumble down I clearly understand my mom decisions which may have affected my life and the rest of my siblings. My mom is an ordinary woman. She may have had me, my older sister and my younger brother at a young age which made things difficult. Being a young black woman in this society today let alone 40yrs ago is extremely hard. The expectations from others would drive you into a wall let alone your own. I was raised in Atlanta, Georgia by my grandparents. My mom made it possible to keep me and my other two siblings together. I still remember the early years when she was partially active in my life. It was hard as a kid to deal with your mother not being around. When she would come around I would run to hug her and call her mom but sometimes it would feel like she would just reject me as her child. I wasn't a fast learner actually slower than most the people in my class so I had problems processing alot of things. I grew in the family era though most people in my neighborhood never had the traditional family. The closes we would get to a traditional family is watching them on TV. With show's like The Cosby's, Family Matters, Fresh Prince of Bel air and several other shows I grew to long for the traditional family setting. It took years for me to just cope with the fact that something's in life are just not promise. I grew to know my mom was a strong woman and she was just fighting for what every woman fight for in life and that's love. Though me and my siblings do not have the same biological father's I still admire my mom for not giving up at her chance at love and happiness. As the years pass and I became in my early adulthood days I seem to have caught trouble in my life. In and out of jail became a continuous cycle in my life. I begin to gain mental health problems. Schizophrenia was my diagnosis and it plague half my life. Once my mother came back in our lives as adults she drop a bombshell on us. My mother had a whole other life apart from us which consists of A husband and three kids. I was angry because these three siblings who I never met had what I long for my whole life a traditional family. As I got to know my new siblings I grew very fond of them and was happy they were in my life. I actually like them more then the siblings who I knew my whole life but maybe growing up together can kinda make you drift further apart. I also found out that my mother have the same mental diagnosis as me. I grown to admire my mother now with me being a grown-up and having a better understanding of the decisions she had to make to keep her family together. This world is amaze so to speak and you never know which way you'll have to turn. Thanks to my mother I learned that things come up unexpectedly and well you can either run away or found a solution even if all parties involved may not understand they will grow to know and that's why the strongest woman in my life is my mother Norine White Trigger the woman who taught me the true definition of clarity.