Childhood Dreams...

What was a childhood dream you had when it came to what you really, really wanted to be when you grew up? I know there’s the astronaut and the next president of the United States. Those can be realistic yes but not as realistic as a teacher, or actor, or even a Broadway dancer. Think about it! Have you really looked back to see if you have achieved those dreams even if for a blink of the eye in your life? Yet, you have still made it to where it had some sort of impact on your life to have meaning enough to be a real GOAL you strived to accomplish.

Well, this is my intro story to how I did just that. Going from a shy little girl with dreams of being a teacher, a dancer, and an activist. Striving from an early age to first, find my voice, second, understand my worth and third, use it for not just my success but to help others succeed on their journey through their dreams.

My name is Jameela Agnes-Kozette Toups-West and I am an Black American woman living in Northern California, born and raised. I was born in Oakland, Ca. and raised in San Francisco, Ca. I have lived all over the Bay Area and now reside in a small town in Lake County, Ca. My journey through my dreams was nowhere near easy or even achievable at certain times but, I could never give up on what meant so much to me. As a child, I was very withdrawn, shy, quiet, and at times extremely unconfident with myself. I could see I had the strength in me to be outspoken, loud, and so sure of self nobody could tell me any different. I just didn’t know how to pull it out.

See, I had no real guidance growing up. My adult role models didn’t come to me. I had to find them myself by rooting through all the negative and unhealthy characters with no support or mentoring from someone close. Because of that is why I stayed the way I was for a long time through my early youth. But, even then I knew what I wanted to be. I wanted to follow in my mother’s footsteps by becoming a teacher. Yes, my mother was around but she was a single parent with a full-time plus job as a teacher, mentor, and advisor to the youth she taught. My mother was an over educated women of the 90s and I was definitely in the shadow of all her students. This is why I say I had no guidance because the person who was supposed to be there was there for everyone else’s children. It can be exhausting, I know now what she went through, now that I too am a single parent who raised her child alone while doing the same thing as a career.

Well, getting older and going through many, many trials and tribulations, I still kept that dream on the forefront of my life. I soon grew up and found my voice, my worth, and my true self-understanding of who I really was in this world. I was someone who loved health and wellness and loved teaching others about it. It was destined for me regardless of what fell in my way and tried to slow me down. I went to college to get my associates degree and a certificate in health and wellness. I started turning one of my main childhood dreams into reality. Between this time I was also able to intertwine two more of my childhood dreams into reality and they all in someway supported each other in helping me see my meaning in this life.

After achieving my Associate degree I moved forward into another area I had found I was good at later in life, speaking up for people, their rights and what I feel is right for them. Activism and community service work was my next dream to turn into reality. This wasn’t a long time childhood dream but more of a carryover of my love of teaching. I feel speaking for those that can’t speak up themselves is part of being a teacher as well. Activist sort of just comes with the territory.

So, after my first part of my college years ended I found work as a community health worker and activist for my old neighborhood within the southeast side of good old SF. I found myself in a dream as I did things for my community knowing this was something I have always wanted to do as well. Truly be a part of where I grew up. The job title I had the pleasure of having was called Food Guardian. I was a part of a small group of health workers that was created by Mayor Newsom, at the time. A program called the ShapeUp Program that was created to help improve SFs understanding of health programs, upcoming propositions, and any matters pertaining to the SF communities and their health practices. The food Guardians focused on two specific southeast side neighborhood communities that had the most poverty stricken health issues. My dreams have grown into a life I could only...well...have dreamed!

Last but not by far the least, the third installment to my childhood dream trilogy. While I am working now I must also bring up that I have a young child I am taking care of and trying to be a good role model for. I also had been crafting a skill I had fell in love with at a young age...dancing! Going to Afro-Caribbean dance classes with my mother as a youth embedded in my mind. I was intrigued and curious about the feelings I felt when my body moved to rhythm. I wanted to learn more. I wanted to feel this way all the time. I wanted to be a dancer!

Through my childhood, music was a close second in my life anyway. I was classically trained on the piano at age 4. I played the violin, the flute, and even tried the cello. Dance was something I strived to achieve from a young age on into my adulthood. By my second round in college and beyond I was finally mastering my craft of dance by finding my way into a working community dance crew through City College of SF called Strong Pulse, working as a teacher, and a community activist. My son had a mother he could look up to. I had satisfaction in myself for being able to look back on my life and see I have officially achieved all of my childhood dreams that truly mattered to me and my inner-self.

All this I have said is part of a past I am extremely proud of and have no regrets with what I went through to achieve those dreams. I now live happy knowing what I have accomplished and that I pass on the strength for my now grown son to do the same as I did...turn his dreams into his realities.

I write this story to share the fact that nothing is impossible, maybe difficult to achieve but, never impossible! It takes true self understanding, hardcore self-motivation, and a never give up never give in attitude. But, with all that, plus the individual strength you add in some if not all your dreams are possible!