Changing a Life-Threatening Experience Into Something Positive

Cancer sucks. In fact, it both sucks and blows. Hearing the words ‘you have cancer’ was the worst moment in my life and felt like a death sentence. Especially when my oncologist told me that I needed chemo- and radiotherapy following a radical hysterectomy. Or when he said that he could not predict if I would be in the one in a ten group of survivors. He is an amazing surgeon and oncologist, but severely lacks a compassionate bedside manner.

For a while after that meeting with him, my thoughts centred around death. I thought about how hard it would be to say goodbye to all my family and friends. I thought about how I wasn’t going to see my niece and nephew grow up. I even planned my own funeral and spent hours regretting never getting around to do all those things I had dreamt of doing, like travelling the world.

But then something snapped. I wasn’t going to just bowl over and let cancer do its business. I recalled how I survived against the odds when I was born and decided I was going to be a medical miracle again. And I was going to show my oncologist and his gloomy statistics what Faith and the will to live can do.

Being diagnosed with cancer and the subsequent decision that I was going to fight this horrible disease, gave me a lot of clarity. It gave my life more purpose.

Before the diagnosis, I was one of those people who go from day to day thinking tomorrow I’ll start working on that dream. But then tomorrow came and plans got postponed again. The cancer diagnosis changed me from a drifter to a doer. I began writing a blog which is now in its second incarnation (read it here). I dusted off a manuscript I wrote several years ago and rewrote it. I began writing for websites like Medium/Vocal and sharing my story to spread awareness of womb cancer.

Getting diagnosed with cancer is devastating, but it is possible to turn it into something positive. A life-threatening illness or an accident makes you realise the vulnerability of life and how every day really matters. I intend to make every day of my life count, work on my dreams and forge ahead with plans. Like cycling across Europe with my partner to raise money for The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity (you can find out more about that, too, in the blog).

Why am I telling you all this?

Because for me it took a serious health scare to change my life, but it doesn’t have to be like that. If you have a dream, don’t wait until a serious health issue or an accident to start making it a reality. It can feel challenging to find time to work on our dreams within our busy lives, which is why I always suggest to people to start small.

When you make changes to your life, doing it in small increments is better than going for a complete overhaul. Unless you suddenly find plenty of time in your hands like I did after my diagnosis. But I have since returned to work and had to learn to create time to work on my dreams.

How to fit in time to work on the dreams?

Let's take my dream of becoming a full time writer. I try to write every day. I used to think that I needed to write for at least an hour each day to make it worth while. But that wasn't happening and then I would beat myself up because I hadn't met my writing targets.

So, I adjusted my targets and thinking and set smaller targets. Note that is not the same as lowering your expectations. It is about setting realistic expectations. I know squeeze in writing time whenever I can, like during lunch breaks or while the dinner is cooking and its producing results. This is my second post on Vocal this week and I have also written a new post for my blog. (Click the links to read my post on Vocal and my Blog.)

Set yourself smaller targets and you are more likely to succeed. If you aim too high straightaway and don’t succeed, you are likely to give up. Another good example would be running.

Say you want to run five kilometres. You cannot expect to go from couch to 5km overnight, but you can probably manage to jog for a minute, walk for two for that distance and build on it.

Going through a life-changing experience like cancer changes your life, without a doubt, and you have no say in that. However, you do have say in how it changes. And remember, you don't need to wait for something drastic to happen to change the direction of your life. Start working on uyour dreams today.