Boldly Invest In Your Success

As I sit here thinking about my life up until this point, I realize that I've never truly totally invested in me.

My dreams. My hopes. My career. Myself.

And my life is evidence of this fact. I have half-lived dreams piled up around me like new clothes I've worn maybe once or twice then throwing them on the floor. Never fully embracing who I am or sharing myself fully with the world.

Instead, I've put my kids first (as good mothers do) and quit or either held myself back in any of my career pursuits. Like the cheesecake baking delivery business that I started while I was a stay-at-home mom. I taught myself how to make cheesecakes for my husband at the time. I learned everything there is about making a cheesecake from crust to topping. It turned out that I had a knack for baking the often tricky dessert. Custard-style desserts aren't the easiest to bake (or so I'm told) but for me, it was as natural as brushing my teeth.

"Find out who you are. And do it on purpose." ~Dolly Parton

I ended up creating over 20 different cheesecake flavors, all with their own various crusts and particular taste. I baked these delicious desserts with my young children "helping" nearby with their wide-eyed smiles begging for some tasty chocolate ganache after I was done carefully lacing the top of a cheesecake.

I would deliver these fresh-baked treats right to my customers' door in fancy boxes and I received the warmest gift of their smile in return. My business was a hit. Soon after, my cheesecakes became the talk of the town. Word spread and I was faced with more orders than I could count. It was then that I had to make a decision to either go forward with a brick-and-mortar shop or quit.

I decided to quit.

That's right, I quit.

Right when my business was beginning to become successful.

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Years later, I fell in love with the art of henna. I'd always been a creative type. Writing and doing art from a young age. And I used to doodle designs on my friends in high school with black ink pens. So, it was only natural that a temporary body art would appeal to me.

After paying outrageous prices at several renaissance faires to get some henna done, I decided to learn how to do it myself. I studied everything from different design styles to the cultural ideas behind the designs to how to make my own henna paste.

I was in love. (And still am.)

I created the first henna business in my area and loved sharing my passion for henna with customers. My business grew so much that I no longer needed to advertise. People were finding me. Then, I did it again. . .

I ran away from my success.

I lied to myself saying that I had to put it aside because I was planning a wedding, the kids needed me, or any other notable excuse for why I was once again running away from what I wanted.

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So tonight, as I was thinking about my growing art business and writing career, I got really honest with myself. I sat down to figure out why I had never truly been successful at my past interests and how I could overcome whatever obstacle was holding me back.

I realized that it was Me holding me back. And my huge Fear of Success.

I was subconsciously trying to avoid my fear of actually achieving success and anything great in my life.

Not only has it become clear that I had been sabotaging my own success but that I've always invested way more into other people or other things. Much more than myself. To my own detriment.

Hence, why I still haven't achieved any solid, tangible success.

I've always seen investing in myself as a luxury. Second (third, maybe fourth) on my list of priorities.

I had been putting myself on the back burner without even realizing it.

I invested so much time and attention into other things. Like raising my children and taking care of my significant other. I forgot to take care of myself. My career. My dreams.

I've invested years of my life into everything but me. Half-assing it when it came to building any career I was interested in. I only gave my dreams a second thought (if I wasn't too tired from everything else).

But as it gets closer to the end of this year, I've been inspired to completely invest in myself and conquer my fear of success. To fully pursue whatever dreams I still have lurking around in the back of my mind like a forgotten but still ever-present song playing in the background.

I'm going to chase down my dreams and I'm going to finally allow myself to embrace the success of it, completely and without hesitation.

I hope I've inspired you to do the same.