Be MORE

When I was 6 I had dreams to be a doctor. I would gather stuffed animals on my bed and give them checkups. At 13 I was utterly obsessed with medical terminology; it was a new language to me. At 17 I was enrolled in advanced medical courses that would further fuel my love of the medical field. When life happened at 20, I stepped away from my dreams and tried to fit a mold I would never properly fit within. At 24 I stood on the steps of a community college (a far cry from my dreams of pre-med) and I started again with a child on my hip. At 25 I was derailed with the birth of my second child and was angry with myself for my inability to do it all on my own. At 26 I put my head down and refused to look up until it was done, medical terminology became my worst enemy as it sucked my nights away and medical jargon filled my every passing moment. At 27 I am a first-generation student with a degree and two children. I learned more about myself in the last 3 years than I had known my entire life.

I learned that I could be more than one label, I could be successful in whatever I put my mind to.

I could be a mother AND a medical student.

I could be a daughter AND an avid reader.

I could be a sister AND a painter.

I could be a wife AND a photographer.

Last year, I stepped outside the imaginary lines of confinement that were drawn around my title as a mother by the generations of my family before me. I tiptoed across the boundary that said I could only amount to a stay-at-home mother with a high school diploma and no hopes for a career. I walked alone down the path of my education while my family scoffed at my efforts to become MORE.

This year, I want to take strides into the unknown. I want to put down this overloaded pack I carry about that holds all my insecurities. I am exhausted of carrying around this anxiety that twists my hand to be an emotionally insecure and unavailable person. I want to be available again. This year, I want to be authentic.

I want to be available to my friend at her wedding this year. I want to congratulate her new wife and add another auntie to my family dynamic.

I want to be available to my brother as he opens up about his sexuality and climbs a mountain taller than my own. I want to be a pillar for him when his life gets unnecessarily difficult because of who he loves.

I want to be available to my family as they further their own education.

I want to be available to my children when they want a friend to play with.

I want to empower others to capture who they are and selfishly pursue that.

This year I want to speak loud for voices that are silenced. I want to be a haven for people who are navigating beyond their own safety boundaries. I want to become a part of my community instead of just residing within this city trying to survive. This year I want to be MORE. I hope as the year unfolds that I am placed in situations to humble and remind me of the boundaries I had to cross to become who I am today. I hope to continue my own strides forward but remember to pull others forward with me as I succeed.