be kind and create, or stay quiet

a TOOL : //

|| : One of the tools that we lack is how to adapt to changes and how to let go of our pain and suffering. For decades the ways of handling emotions were separated by genders. Men weren't allowed to show emotions because it was promoted that no man cries and emotions meant you weren't a man. Opening up and expressing emotions have always been looked down upon on. Whereas women were seen as hysterical and emotional beings. It's like gender has something to do with how we should handle or show emotions. When reality it doesn't matter what gender you identify as. It doesn't change the fact that you're able to feel emotions.

Familiarizing yourself with which attachment style you've adapted. Gives you a better understanding of how you form relationships. The first attachment we develop to a female/feminine and male/masculine relationship is with our biological parents. Initially, the first masculine and feminine figures that are exampled to us. We begin as visual learners and during our early childhood we learn and form our attachment style, learn to regulate our emotions. As well as forming the stepping stones for your psychological and emotional psyche.

// As we grow older our environment expands. Being expose and influence by others, authorities, the system and society. The internet, social media and technology are useful tools that have altered society. We have devices that fit in our hand that with just a few taps. We can access any information we want to know. The ability to get in touch with somebody living across the world.

When social media was first introduced. It was exciting. Like a new toy being handed to you. Although I didn't think anybody had a clue on how much it would change society. Social media has changed the way we communicate, relate and process with one another. It's strangely wild, having to look back on its evolution. To where it was at the beginning to how huge it is now; over the world. // The internet, social media and technologies are tools. That we have the privilege to get access too. We have the ability and consciousness to choose of what we or how we use this strangely wild tool.

—- Unfiltered Views: Homelessness, Addiction, Trauma Healing and Shame

||: I was struggling to write about the challenges and stigmas, people who are experiencing homelessness face. There are so many layers to this. It isn't just about not having a roof over your head. Being home is a feeling that a place or something or someone, giving you the feeling of security and safety. There are has always been an assumption that people who experience homelessness must be drug users and that must be the reason they’re on the streets. Having to experience homelessness isn’t always from excessive drug use. Sometimes it’s caused by a broken family, violence in the home, loss of income, addiction, mental health, and injury. We are automatically quick to judge someone else's situation without knowing the full cost of how they’ve ended up in that place. We are always one decision or choice away from a different life.

A challenge that someone who experiences homelessness face is the dehumanization they receive. The lack of compassion and understanding for somebody who is going through this experience. Putting yourself in their shoes and realising that they too have their own stories and struggles. It's a fundamental and basic need for anyone to feel safe and secure. Somebody who is experiencing homelessness doesn't have those. That initially takes away parts of the basic human need for security and safety. Nobody will ever feel safe to be sleeping on the streets or under a bridge. That's why practising compassion and understanding towards people who experience not just homelessness but other social issues like mental health, family violence, addiction or anything that they are trying to heal.

If you're not going to understanding towards somebody's situation. If you are having trouble being kind or staying quiet. Then move along.

// With addiction, it isn't about being on the hardest drugs. It's about having pain and not wanting to feel it or know how to deal with it. Addiction sometimes comes from self-medicating. Either with legal drugs like alcohol or prescriptions to illegal drugs like marijuana or meth. They aren't always drugs either. Sometimes it's a feeling we receive from a person.

There are plenty of layers that are underneath addiction. Somebody doesn't wake up one day and decide they are going to get hook on a substance. It doesn't happen like that. There are plenty of challenges that someone who is recovery from addiction faces. Relapse happens, bring in forward shame and guilt. // Beating yourself up and degrading yourself because you made a slip-up. Mistakes happen. They do. BUT no matter how much you degrade yourself it is not going to undo that mistake.

Learn from that mistake. That's all that can be done.

shame & Trauma Healing : //

Unhealed traumas fester and they are not a whole lot of fun. Trauma comes in all shape and sizes. With trauma comes with shame. This type of shame is brought on by the offender. A shame that is not yours or will be ever yours. Because it's the shame and blame that fester for survivors.

\\ There were plenty of challenges I faced when deciding to face my unhealed traumas. It wasn't an easy or quick decision. In the beginning, I envisioned a finishing line. That's what happened during my psychotic episode. The whole time while recovering I thought there was a finish line. This time, I've learnt that healing doesn't have a finish line and you are not competing with anyone else. |

Healing brings you teachings and lessons about yourself. Learning about yourself isn't easy. When you have shamed yourself to your core. Planting self-hatred and doubting. Not having the time and focus to be able to learn about yourself.

Healing requires a safe environment. Not just physically but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Every aspect of our Psyche. Life isn't perfect and there will be complications. We don't always have our way. Although we get to choose. What is important to you. What is your highest priority to your lowest? You get to decide that. With a decision comes with action or change. We are constantly making choices and decisions. Your haven should be customized to your comfort. This is YOUR healing space.

Shame will be different ingredients for each individual. Some shames aren't yours to carry. Sometimes in life, we stumble upon somebody who will abuse you. That type of shame isn't and will never be yours to carry. Abuse isn't something somebody asks for or should be taken lightly.

|| Spark 3.03

Underneath all the shame and trauma healing, I found a spark. A spark to create. I had a lot of shame and fear of share what I write and create to the public. But I looked both of them right in their eyes and did it anyway. That to me folks is courage.

I found the meaning for Courage; being afraid but still having a go and going for it.

With a spark comes to passion. Creating gives me satisfaction. The progress of emotions that goes through you during creating process, is a rollercoaster. Moments where you thought it was going to be a disaster but kept pushing through and manage to tinker up this creative piece made by you from you. Seeing the completion of your work is satisfying.