‘Aumākua

An ̒aumākua, in Hawaiian culture, is thought to be an ancestral guardian spirit that watches over and protects the current family. Having not been born here, I nevertheless adopted the belief of a guardian spirit that exists to protect and guide you on this journey through Life. You simply do not “choose” an ̒aumākua because you like the particular animal or can relate to its environment...the ̒aumākua chooses you.

They also have specific powers of protection or “jobs to do”. Growing up in Ka’ū on the Big Island, my ̒aumākua was the owl. There are only two types of owls in Hawaii: the barn owl and the endemic native "pueo". The owl is known to be a protector and also serves to give warning of impending danger. Many a time the pueo would appear flying directly across my path, perched obviously (to me) in a tree, or standing on the shoulder of the highway making me aware of possible danger ahead — and every time I would heed the warning and slow down or be extra cautious. I swear I would not have survived my “careless youth” without my guardian angel. Owl sightings are considered very rare in the islands - except to those that have a connection to this special spirit animal.

In my research of Hawaiian culture and beliefs I came across information that I was not previously aware of — information that may not even be commonly known. An ̒aumākua doesn’t always have to be in the form of an animal; in fact, the guardian spirit can frequently be a natural object such as a tree, a flower, a rock, or very surprising to me...an element. Air: clouds and breezes; water: waves and rain; or the very fire in the stars above could be one’s ‘aumākua. But the most interesting personal information I came across was that your ‘aumākua can change.

As I mentioned, for years the beautiful owls would warn me of dangers ahead and protect me from harm. They still appear occasionally, but maybe I’m older, wiser, and more cautious these days. But when I was hapai, (pregnant), and living in a beautiful little house in the Eden Roc subdivision of Mountain View, I kept noticing the appearance of an ‘io, the then endangered Hawaiian hawk. We had a wonderful outdoor shower as a choice to use on hot summer days or clear, starry nights instead of the indoor shower in our bathroom. As my body changed and adapted to the new life growing within, I would often choose the beauty of the sunny skies and natural setting to shower outside. I first noticed the ‘io then as it watched over me from the branch of a nearby tree not far away. Usually, being skilled hunters, they “hide in plain sight”, their camouflage making them practically impossible to notice until they fly away, so I was amazed that this beautiful creature would allow itself not only to be seen, but to also call its familiar “ee-yo” to get my attention. The hawk, as an ‘aumākua, is known to give one strength. I would smile as I would wash my expanding belly, believing that this ‘io was certainly the guardian of my unborn child, giving him the strength and endurance he would need throughout his life. Had I known the hardships that awaited me in the next few months, extending into the next few years of my life, I would have realized the ‘io was there for me. My ‘aumākua had changed.

My life has not been easy. Most people see the mask I wear (not the one for COVID) but the smile, the optimism, the silly jokes and self-deprecating, quirky humor and assume I have no problems and probably never did. I have struggled with so many challenges for so many years…”I could write a book”! (Ha!...pun intended…) But every time I feel I can’t go on, I question my purpose on this planet, or wonder why bad things happen to good people...I find a feather (or rather — it finds me) and it gives me strength.

I’m still dealing with a lot of past problems and current pain: I’m still grieving the loss of my amazing mother and my beautiful sister. They were my two “therapists” and my best friends, and they’re gone. I often feel lost and alone without these irreplaceable souls, even in a crowd of people or surrounded by a mass of cats. But it always seems when I need it most, and I look to the heavens for strength and guidance...I look down and find a feather at my feet.

I’ve learned to call the hawks, and they always come. They bring me joy, comfort, wonder, and strength. I know my departed loved ones are still with me and always will be. But I believe in and appreciate the concept of an ‘aumākua, and feel blessed by the tangible evidence of being watched over with guidance and strength. Needless to say, I have a very large collection of feathers.