Assumption kills

Funny how it takes a change of scenery and breaking of routine to find exactly what you're looking for.

Today's example is my outdoor deck table.

In the almost 7 months that we have lived in our rental, I have struggled to find a comfortable space to use my laptop. Only just now, on a whim, I decided to take my laptop outside for a spot of writing, only to find that the outdoor table and chair provide the perfect amount of arm and back support, with ample space for my laptop and more, should I need anything.

What I actually came out here to write about, before I was pleasantly surprised, is discovery, which is perfectly fitting.

Today's main discovery: assumption kills.

Today I had organised to see a friend - a girl that I had not seen or spoken to in 10 years, and who I was not close with. Perhaps for some, this may already seem mildly intimidating, as after 10 years you have no idea what they may be like. I had an idea of what she was like - stunning, lively, popular, thriving in life - everything I believed myself not to be.

To make matters worse, this was the first social meeting I had actuallu committed to since before COVID-19 began, and I had lost all sense of social savvy.

Social anxiety and self-doubt plgued me, filling me with dread leading up to the event. It was to be just a simple catch-up. We were going to the beach and getting back in touch after all these years, yet I prepared my outfit a week in advance and planned what to bring with precision, wanting to look casual but nice but not too try-hard but natural. I lamented over every inch of my un-toned body and ungroomed nail and perception of myself as 'unsuccessful' an regretted ever existing.

I had psyched myself out so much that on teh day, I accidentally locked myself out of the house and had to crawl back in through the window, in my short skirt. I'm sure my neighobur got an unwarranted eyeful of knickers, god bless them.

Then the time came and she arrived at my house to pick me up (because I don't have a car, another aspect of myself I am embarrassed about) and off we went. And it was good. Every assumption I had of her as untouchable, unreachable on a pedestal, slowly dissipated as I discovered that she was also just a living, breathing, human being with dreams and flaws, just like me.

In fact, she and I were very similar and connected well. I chastised myself becaus this is what I do - I convince myself that other people are so successful and amazing that little old me could never come close, and I close myself off and prohibit myself from even trying to connect with other humans.

But given the chance, humans will connect.

We are all one species and we are designed for connection and community. Yes it's true, some of us shy away from what we don't understand. But it's facing the challenge that will open the opportunity to get a glimpse of what the world can offer us.

Even though I was nervous, anxious, dreading, scared - I still committed to seeing this girl, because I have not seen anyone in months and I knew I wasn't growing. I needed to share in human connection to grow, learn and experience more of what life held for me and it turned out well, better than I had even hoped to imagine.

What fears can you face today?

It could be starting a business, moving out, or catching up with a long-lost friend.

Whatever it is, just do it. You'll be much better off for it, trust me.

You might end up with sand everywhere and mildly sunburnt, but if anything, you will at least have the satisfaction of knowing you overcame your fear.

So embrace the challenge, for only in the release of fear do we find true freedom.

To all my fellow introverts - get out there, do life and do it abundantly.