Applying For My Dream Job: Why It Didn’t Work Out

About a month ago I applied for my dream job for the company that was a major influence for me going to film school in the first place. I was filled with imposter syndrome and excitement for what I could bring to the table of this company.

My partner continued to encourage me and convinced me to turn my cover letter into a video. Of course, that was the best way to apply for a job like this. So I spent a week preparing it all; writing a script, collecting images and videos, recording my voice, editing it all together. It was a full mini production.

I was proud in the end but I couldn't help but shake the voice in the back of my head. You’re not going to get it so why bother?

Whether that voice was telling me the truth was irrelevant. I finished the video and submitted it with my resume. I was so nervous that I was sweating. My partner hugged me, told me well done. But I was filled with such mixed emotions.

One part of my mind insisted that I wouldn’t be capable of doing this job. The other part told me “You’ve trained for years to be qualified. You’re good enough.” I was proud of myself and tried so hard to not put all my eggs in one basket.

A week goes by. Nothing. I check the views on the video and there was still nothing. Another week goes by and still no new views. The third week, I write to them politely requesting an update and feedback on my application. I finally get a response 5 days later.

I was rejected.

But how? I thought I was good enough? I checked the views on my video. There were no new views. They had rejected my application without looking at it. That’s how it seemed at least. Worse still, they hadn’t answered any questions I had asked them. It was a generic rejection letter.

You may recall my article on ghosting recruiters and how that negatively contributed to my mental health. That didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as this did. This company, who I had held in such high regard since childhood completely rejected me without basis.

Dear Michelle,

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider you for employment. We have reviewed your background and qualifications, and unfortunately your application is not a fit for our current needs. We appreciate your interest in [Redacted] and wish you success in your job search.

Sincerely,

[Redacted] Recruiting Team

You can chalk it off to “well they probably had a lot of applicants and can’t properly get back to all of them,” but I find that’s an excuse, not a reason. Clearly I wasn’t even shortlisted, and that’s fine. But the main issue at hand is simple: They hadn’t even seen my video.

The title of this article is Applying For My Dream Job: And Why It Didn’t Work Out; And Why I Still Haven’t Given Up because the truth is I hadn’t. I’m still applying for jobs they are offering but I’m applying within my means.

Looking back now, I’m not qualified enough for that role. I may have most of the skills they were looking for but there was someone else out there who WAS perfect for the job in comparison. I may not agree with how they handled my application process and rejection but it clearly wasn’t the job for me.

I still dream of working for that company, every day. So, I went ahead and applied for a more humble position at the same place. I’m still waiting for a response so let’s wait and see. I haven’t given up and, frankly, neither should you. Life is way too short to let our imposter make the decisions for us.

Good hunting.