American Dream

She explored why she felt the way she did. Dismissed. Unrecognized. Disrespected. She had considered it was in the manner that she commanded attention. She became harsh. It was not her nature. It conflicted with her soul and her spirit. She was determined to find the happy ending in a fluid landscape of incidental interruptions. It finally occurred to her it was the weight that she decided to give the conflict that would build its power and strength. It was a new approach. She had left her baggage at the station. She was ready for a fresh new journey.

Chief had flowed her daughter home in the snow so many years ago. It had been long enough. He had a right to feel as if he deserved the full meal. Having come from the streets he maintained strange mannerisms. He was fearful. He crept along the lowest part of the floor. He observed the other cats as they used the litter box. He observed as they ate a meal. As if foreign to the complex community that is present in a group. It made her consider the deeper issues. As she observed Chief cleaning crumbs that had dropped from the mouth of the other cat, off of the floor, she considered how Chief, needed to change his paradigm and decided that he deserved the full meal sitting in a bowl just beyond the crumbs on the floor. The observations led to a hypothesis of both nature and nurture, Chief not only lacked self-confidence, self-worth, she projected, but he also lacked the knowledge of group interactions with the other cats. She decided she would tell this story at her next job interview, as they disclose the placement of other offices that are managerial, supervisory positions, as she interviews in a position to serve as a team member below the chosen manager, she will tell the interviewer that she is not interested in cleaning the crumbs around the bowl that holds the full meal, rather, she desires the full meal. They may accommodate her needs, or she will simply have to get back to the train station and move the journey forward. She has no time to live in the haunts of the past. Chief deserves the full meal as does she, she decides.

She pondered, what do the owl, the Rasta man, the rabbit and the wizard have in common. It was a thought that had escaped her. An owl is wise. An owl is nocturnal. An owl lives an isolated life. The rabbit is very much a social animal that lives to procreate. It differs too from the owl except that it too is prey for the greater predator. A vein of commonality. The Rasta man plays the music and tends to his gardens. Portrayed as relaxed in a country that has taken so much from the people. He continues to smile even as he lives a life as prey to the plutocracy not predator, the consumer of the full meal. The wizard has power, and wisdom beyond this world. The wizard is the defender of those who lack an ability to fight against a greater enemy. Who serves as the predator of the wizard? Is it the lack of imagination and a death of the belief in the things one does not yet comprehend? It is perplexing that a wizard can be conjured and destroyed, built and created or defeated by words on the parchment of the paper, or in this case the taps of a keyboard. The wizard is a most powerful image of hope and strength that gives a sense of strength to those who lacked a little self-confidence. Most good stories of wizards reveal that the strength has been hidden deep in ourselves all along. The wizard, the Rasta man, the rabbit and the owl.

She concerned herself with new hopes and dreams. An imagined new future that contained elements of those people who in life are good by nature rather than bad. She lived in a community where she was certainly misunderstood. Despised by some for reasons still unknown to her since personal connections were not an element. She rejected those words that were so dreadfully painful and reminded herself that they were mistaken and lacked a sense of better understanding. She felt sorry for them since they were unenlightened and lacked a certain sense of empathy. She ponders if it was an emotionally trait that was embedded into their own psychology or were it merely a lack of simple intelligence, a difference in the intelligence quotient that we are assessed. She had witnessed it before and they were hateful words that were flung at her slight six-year-old self. She reminded herself that she was not there in that moment in time any longer. The wounds of those years were scarred deep into her soul. She was called hateful and hideous names, and no one defended her except her mother. Her mother, then young, came out and in her harsh German accent only perpetuated the fear that was so unfounded by these young haters. It did not help that her mother frightened these children so badly that doors slammed shut for each day thereafter. She often wondered what her mother had spoken to those children.

She knew now that it is a matter of having a brighter imagination and visualizing the dreams in bright brilliant colors. Complemented by the conjuring of anticipated aromas, it is built from concept to reality. Here now, she sat, determined to rewrite the narrative of what she had labeled as the American Nightmare. Making strides into the other direction, a dream that she felt was destroyed, stolen, taken from her legacy so many years ago. She is now determined to fight for the rightful the legacy of her children. The American Dream with a feeling that even transfers the sense of touch and flavor. Complete with neighbors that are wonderful golden gems and a landscape so beautiful it must have been designed by magic. Determined to leave the pages of the American nightmare at each station as she moved though the tracks of her journeys. She had the key and the vehicle. She set forth to create a brand new shiny glittery sunshine filed joyful narrative.

She imagined the details of the full meal opposed to and in contrast of the crumbs, dry and dirty with pieces of fuzz and dust.

She decides. The conscious decision to move forward with new visualizations of what could be in an imagined new future. She knew only that as she had grown exhausted over the years, she centered her important needs around health, happiness, joy, laughter, and prosperity. She seeks now to reach her destiny, the legacy that had been blocked by barricades of those who she knew as family. Guided by owls, rabbits, Rasta Men and wizards, she left those who caused her so much pain in their past with their demons. Their fate was not her concern, never turning back, She built her own family and began to build her own dream, one parchment at a time.